FanFiction.Net - Community: The Big Wahoonie

A Soft Day's Night

2009-07-05T16:34:39-08:00

Author: idontlikegravy
Category: Discworld
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: General/Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 1,698, Reviews: 7 Published: 7-5-09
Status: Complete

Fred and Nobby are on duty at the main gate, with nothing else to do, they talk.

Of Desk Lamps and Humanity

2008-11-07T22:26:43-08:00

Author: Watcher.mine
Category: Discworld
Language: English, Rated: K
Genres: General/Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 656, Reviews: 13 Published: 11-7-08
Status: Complete

In the nothingness of his non-world, Death creates a desk.

Cutting Away The Pain

2009-01-30T14:56:33-08:00

Author: L-Ishida-Dark
Category: Discworld
Language: English, Rated: K
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 729, Reviews: 16 Published: 1-30-09
Status: Complete

A short and silly oneshot. Death meets a soul-briefly, as always-who informs him of yet another inexplicable facet of human existance.

Havelock Vetinari, Flamingo and Boy

2008-01-03T01:38:56-08:00

Author: Gogol
Category: Discworld
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor/Angst
Chapters: 1, Words: 1,013, Reviews: 16 Updated: 1-3-08 Published: 1-1-08
Status: Complete

Series of snapshots covering the supposed life and times of Havelock Vetinari. Read at your own risk.

A Night on the Tiles

2004-02-12T14:11:49-08:00

Author: Merrymoll
Category: Discworld
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor/Angst
Chapters: 4, Words: 11,614, Reviews: 81 Updated: 2-12-04 Published: 11-8-03
Status: Complete

Chivalry, Vetinari style, with a maid in the wrong place at the wrong time and some rooftop gallivanting. Now finished!

Women Who Brung Him Low

2008-06-05T11:50:48-08:00

Author: Roruna
Category: Discworld
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Romance
Chapters: 7, Words: 10,233, Reviews: 9 Updated: 6-5-08 Published: 5-27-08
Status: Complete

Many people believe that Vimes was brung low by a woman but I believe that he was brung low by several women. Each chapter will be devoted to a different woman in Sam Vimes' life. This is my first fanfic so please be gentle.

August Distractions and Other Stories

2008-09-08T04:47:15-08:00

Author: Migratory
Category: Discworld
Language: English, Rated: K
Genres: General
Chapters: 3, Words: 315, Reviews: 16 Updated: 9-8-08 Published: 6-4-05
Status: In-Progress

Drabble series. The Patrician tries to understand Leonard's latest inventions.

In Denial We Trust

2008-06-27T08:47:22-08:00

Author: Laryna6
Category: Discworld
Language: English, Rated: K
Genres: Humor/Supernatural
Chapters: 1, Words: 1,805, Reviews: 10 Published: 6-27-08
Status: Complete

Coppers would be far too suspicious of anyone calling themselves a god of policing to actually believe in them. However, official denials are also something coppers won't believe. If only Vimes wasn't too much the ultimate policeman to claim godhood...

We Rob Banks

2008-07-01T12:54:42-08:00

Author: TMOHzone
Category: Discworld
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Crime/Humor
Pairing: Carcer & Jonathan T.
Chapters: 47, Words: 4,974, Reviews: 42 Updated: 7-1-08 Published: 2-11-08
Status: In-Progress

DEAD FIC. They met thirty years and a day after the Glorious 25th. One was impaled on a poker, and the other still had the noose around his neck. In a matter of minutes they tried to kill each other, stole a cart, and fled the city. Then things got weird.

Growing Upside Down

2006-10-30T12:10:03-08:00

Author: hangingfire
Category: Discworld
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: General/Romance
Chapters: 5, Words: 3,856, Reviews: 6 Published: 10-30-06
Status: Complete

Teenage romance and hormones can be hell, especially when your education has been exceptional in all matters but those of the heart. And when you're Death's granddaughter, it's extra special.

Religion and Death

2007-10-26T09:06:02-08:00

Author: BasementOfTheMansion
Category: Discworld
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor/Spiritual
Chapters: 5, Words: 956, Reviews: 9 Updated: 10-26-07 Published: 5-16-07
Status: Complete

A collection of Reg/Visit ficlets, featuring arguments, mild slash, and... well, more arguments, really.

The Game

2007-05-09T13:25:25-08:00

Author: InsanityInside
Category: Discworld
Language: English, Rated: K
Genres: General
Pairing: Vetinari & GrannyWeatherwax
Chapters: 1, Words: 656, Reviews: 14 Published: 5-9-07
Status: Complete

Two people who never lose play a game.

Can I Call You Dad?

2007-05-24T04:35:57-08:00

Author: Ficus-Avenger
Category: Discworld
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor/Romance
Chapters: 2, Words: 3,370, Reviews: 28 Updated: 5-24-07 Published: 5-19-07
Status: In-Progress

Commander Vimes' daughter has a new boyfriend that he's sure he won't approve of. But who is it?

A rock feels no pain

2007-02-27T05:26:25-08:00

Author: Lakritzwolf
Category: Discworld
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Tragedy
Chapters: 1, Words: 2,382, Reviews: 5 Published: 2-27-07
Status: Complete

A series of violent burglaries and several murdered trolls. There is a link between those, as Vimes finds out. A horrible one. OneShot short story featuring the Watch.

Political Secrets of a Modest Man

2006-08-11T11:03:08-08:00

Author: JillSwinburne
Category: Discworld
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: General/Humor
Chapters: 6, Words: 10,567, Reviews: 23 Published: 8-11-06
Status: Complete

Why do four women always stick up for Lord Vetinari? Who are they and what do they owe him?

Vimes is a Continuation of Politics by other Means

2007-01-28T18:58:59-08:00

Author: Mad Possum
Category: Discworld
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: General/Mystery
Chapters: 13, Words: 31,643, Reviews: 62 Updated: 1-28-07 Published: 9-9-06
Status: In-Progress

When a diplomatic shipment goes missing, is it a few letters on international politics at risk, or are the Watch investigating for much higher stakes? Rated for possible language. UPDATED! Wow, will wonders never cease?

Mild Mannered

2006-04-23T19:03:02-08:00

Author: Caethilia Mordon
Category: Discworld
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor/Adventure
Chapters: 7, Words: 9,703, Reviews: 32 Updated: 4-23-06 Published: 2-22-06
Status: In-Progress

A tale of Damsels, Heroes, and Strange Clingy Fabrics in the bustling metropolis of Ankh Morpork! MARVEL at the heroine's beauty! GASP at the hero's feats of derring do! REVIEW when you read it, dammit!

The Art of Being a Secretary

2006-01-19T18:22:56-08:00

Author: Keiran
Category: Discworld
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: General/Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 795, Reviews: 10 Published: 1-19-06
Status: Complete

Intelligence is not a trait highly valued in secretaries. They evolved in accordance with that fact. A story of one crush and its only witness. Mild slash content. Starring: the Patrician.

One Last Favour

2005-10-09T12:50:06-08:00

Author: Hyel
Category: Discworld
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Drama
Chapters: 1, Words: 3,421, Reviews: 9 Published: 10-9-05
Status: In-Progress

Monstrous Regiment. Spoilers for the entire book. Polly visits Jackrum for the last time.

Viri Sunt Viri

2005-12-18T17:52:12-08:00

Author: Grey L. Bloom
Category: Discworld
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: General/Humor
Chapters: 13, Words: 17,796, Reviews: 29 Updated: 12-18-05 Published: 7-19-05
Status: In-Progress

Grassroots feminism, attempted assassination, snake eyed loping bastards, vandalism, theft, murder, and a thousand elephants. Wait, no! No elephants. Everything else, though. [rated T for genitalia related humor and mild swearing]

Emotional Baggage

2005-07-10T13:24:30-08:00

Author: TheZorpisuttle
Category: Discworld
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 112, Reviews: 14 Published: 7-10-05
Status: Complete

Drabble. This is the result of my failed attempt to write LuggageRincewind. It's still cracktastic, though.

RamkinVimes Family Portrait

2005-05-05T04:05:15-08:00

Author: Countess Von Verminstrasser
Category: Discworld
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: General
Chapters: 1, Words: 3,800, Reviews: 12 Published: 5-5-05
Status: In-Progress

Henry Biddle was hired to paint a portrait. However, he ends up comtemplating the Duke of Ankh and his family as well. prequel of a work in progress

A Matter of Advertising

2006-02-09T11:51:11-08:00

Author: Mind in the Ankh
Crossover: Discworld and Lord of the Rings
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Drama/Parody
Pairing: Vetinari & Denethor
Chapters: 5, Words: 5,799, Reviews: 20 Updated: 2-9-06 Published: 1-26-05
Status: Complete

Vetinari meets an old friend through the magic of L-space. Machiavelli's fish and chips stand doesn't stand a chance. Crossover with Lord of the Rings. Chapter 5: Finduilas is most upset with the Patrician.

Seven Stars and Seven Stones and One Old Copper

2005-03-02T09:42:28-08:00

Author: Egleriel
Category: Discworld
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Adventure/Humor
Chapters: 12, Words: 10,453, Reviews: 43 Updated: 3-2-05 Published: 1-20-05
Status: In-Progress

Discworld-LotR crossover, with elves, Orcs and Nobbses. A magical accident catapults Vimes into another dimension. And worse, he has to find his son in an unknown land, in the middle of a war that he seems to be in charge of... CHAPTER 11 is up.

Diplomatic Piracy

2003-11-07T19:34:07-08:00

Author: Twist
Category: Discworld
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor/Parody
Chapters: 5, Words: 7,936, Reviews: 27 Published: 11-7-03
Status: Complete

An exiled Vetinari has an open road ahead of him. Watch through the eyes of Vimes as pirates, politicians and hard liquors combine.

Des Zauberers Stab hat einen Knauf am Ende

2004-07-28T01:18:51-08:00

Author: Lanjana
Category: Discworld
Language: German, Rated: T
Genres: Humor/Poetry
Chapters: 1, Words: 296, Reviews: 3 Published: 7-28-04
Status: In-Progress

Ein weiterer Versuch, das legendäre Lied in Worte zu kleiden...

The Hedgehog Song

2000-07-02T00:00:00-08:00

Author: morrigan
Category: Discworld
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 469, Reviews: 73 Published: 7-2-00
Status: In-Progress

Co-written with NS and Peeves is Peeved-- our version of Nanny Ogg's most infamous number. PG13 for vulgarity, and it contains an MP3 link so you can sing it in the bath

The Other Point of View

2001-01-13T00:00:00-08:00

Author: Rogue Knight
Category: Discworld
Language: English, Rated: K
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 264, Reviews: 32 Published: 1-13-01
Status: In-Progress

A short story that features Duckman the beggar.

Adding Daddy

2001-11-03T00:00:00-08:00

Author: W.H. Woolhat
Category: Discworld
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: General
Chapters: 1, Words: 1,409, Reviews: 26 Published: 11-3-01
Status: In-Progress

Vimes reflects on something that Sybil told him in 'The Fifth Elephant'...and you don't have to have read the book to get it.

Reinstall Love And Reboot

2002-08-02T13:39:00-08:00

Author: Grey L. Bloom
Category: Discworld
Language: English, Rated: K
Genres: Humor/Romance
Chapters: 1, Words: 775, Reviews: 13 Published: 8-2-02
Status: Complete

I'm sorry. It had to be done. I couldn't resist. Hex and A Mystery Woman... R&R, OR you can just laugh your head off in scorn.

The Piecemaker

2003-03-06T19:30:36-08:00

Author: samvimes
Category: Discworld
Language: English, Rated: K
Genres: General
Chapters: 1, Words: 3,477, Reviews: 19 Published: 3-6-03
Status: In-Progress

A Commander's Inspection, a troll's invention, and a Patrician in the right place at the right time...

Mad Moon

2003-03-09T01:23:20-08:00

Author: Casira
Category: Discworld
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Drama/Romance
Chapters: 5, Words: 10,318, Reviews: 19 Published: 3-9-03
Status: In-Progress

Presumed headline in the A-M Times: Werewolf's Boyfriend Walks On Moon; Angst Ensues. My take on Angua's reaction to the events of The Last Hero....

The New Verse

2003-04-06T11:45:02-08:00

Author: samvimes
Category: Discworld
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: General
Chapters: 1, Words: 1,442, Reviews: 39 Published: 4-6-03
Status: In-Progress

There's a new verse to an old song about the Patrician, and Vimes isn't happy about it...

To Whom hAre hYou Speaking?

2003-04-11T20:50:09-08:00

Author: Grey L. Bloom
Category: Discworld
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor/Parody
Chapters: 9, Words: 4,097, Reviews: 14 Updated: 4-11-03 Published: 9-10-02
Status: In-Progress

(Updated again, finally! (Finished)) Say hello again to the Blue Cat Ladies, as they journey across the Discworld for Louisa's cousin's wedding... but does he know that they're coming? PG because of the Ladies of Negotiable Gender.

And Your Lips, My Dear, Are Like Giblets

2003-05-07T00:22:34-08:00

Author: Mercator
Category: Discworld
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor/Romance
Chapters: 4, Words: 7,107, Reviews: 43 Updated: 5-7-03 Published: 4-11-03
Status: In-Progress

A romantic farce starring Ankh-Morpork's most efficient Palace clerk. **FINISHED!!!**

Rincewind's Greatest Hits

2003-06-05T16:05:40-08:00

Author: Mobius Shadow
Category: Discworld
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor/Parody
Chapters: 9, Words: 1,885, Reviews: 35 Updated: 6-5-03 Published: 7-29-02
Status: In-Progress

A collection of parodied songs by/about Rincewind for the young and old. There are NINE now- 'What Would the Great Wizard Do?! R&R

Real

2003-07-20T20:11:51-08:00

Author: samvimes
Category: Discworld
Language: English, Rated: K
Genres: General
Chapters: 1, Words: 1,383, Reviews: 19 Published: 7-20-03
Status: In-Progress

Captain Sam Vimes is tired, hung over, and can't remember what he did the night before. And what's that bandage doing on his arm...?

Dead Man's Curve

2003-12-04T14:50:31-08:00

Author: intriKate
Category: Discworld
Language: English, Rated: K
Genres: Tragedy/Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 2,314, Reviews: 20 Published: 12-4-03
Status: In-Progress

The last moments of Ysabell and Mort.

Prawns

2004-02-29T18:02:33-08:00

Author: WargishBoromirFan
Category: Discworld
Language: English, Rated: K
Genres: Humor/General
Pairing: Foul Ole Ron & Gaspode
Chapters: 1, Words: 676, Reviews: 13 Published: 2-29-04
Status: Complete

Can't trust 'em. Buggerit. A rambling little adventure into the mind of Foul Ole Ron. The Origin of the Millenium Hand & Shrimp?

Chronicles of a Social Outcast

2005-07-07T12:47:10-08:00

Author: Twist
Category: Discworld
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 4, Words: 4,279, Reviews: 41 Updated: 7-7-05 Published: 2-25-04
Status: In-Progress

A group of (very) short blurbs on teenaged Havelock Vetinari. These are not meant to be serious, and are OOC. I had fun writing them, so I hope you have fun reading them. :) New short!

The Traveller

2004-04-26T09:26:38-08:00

Author: Sethian Mackie
Category: Discworld
Language: English, Rated: K
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 1,143, Reviews: 6 Published: 4-26-04
Status: In-Progress

A funny short story I wrote for my english class.

You Don't Have to Order Rat

2004-06-25T14:54:35-08:00

Author: Lizney Wolf
Category: Discworld
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor/Romance
Chapters: 4, Words: 5,236, Reviews: 25 Updated: 6-25-04 Published: 2-17-04
Status: In-Progress

Dates weren't for Watch girls, Angua thought. Dates were for ladies who could afford prim wigs, and dresses expensive enough to look properly simple....A cute story about Carrot and Angua's first date [under edit for technical errors]

How it was planned and how it turned out

2004-06-27T14:49:25-08:00

Author: Katta
Category: Discworld
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 2,471, Reviews: 2 Published: 6-27-04
Status: Complete

The witches of Lancre solve the problem inherent in being four witches to fill only three positions. Set after Carpe Jugulum if the witches have showed up in anything after that book, consider this story an AU.

Sammies

2004-09-13T11:48:10-08:00

Author: Demus
Category: Discworld
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: General/Adventure
Chapters: 1, Words: 674, Reviews: 11 Published: 9-13-04
Status: Complete

Late one night, a styleless, capitalless assassin makes an attempt on an innocent life and learns just why Sammies are dangerous… Rated for language.

Finis

2004-11-02T17:20:00-08:00

Author: DDR Freak
Category: Discworld
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: General
Chapters: 1, Words: 1,560, Reviews: 20 Published: 11-2-04
Status: In-Progress

After all the adventures, what happens to Rincewind the wizard?

From the Office of the Patrician

2003-12-13T00:25:05-08:00

Author: Mercator
Category: Discworld
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 7, Words: 4,710, Reviews: 108 Updated: 12-13-03 Published: 1-3-03
Status: In-Progress

Lord Vetinari knows what you've been writing about him. He is not pleased...Ch7! A sweet-tart danger stalks the streets of A-M...

A Real Pain in the Neck

2002-02-06T20:02:48-08:00

Author: Beth Einspanier
Category: Discworld
Language: English, Rated: K
Genres: Supernatural/Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 554, Reviews: 10 Published: 2-6-02
Status: In-Progress

Lancre - the country where six impossible things can happen to you before breakfast. Even so, getting beheaded can be really annoying, even if you're already dead...

Apples

2004-10-14T00:49:02-08:00

Author: The Amazing Maurice
Category: Discworld
Language: English, Rated: K
Genres: Humor/General
Chapters: 1, Words: 1,147, Reviews: 50 Published: 10-14-04
Status: In-Progress

It seemed to Shadowfax that the only constants in his life were swords and apples. A crossover with The Lord of the Rings.