FanFiction.Net - voldemortperfumes's fanfiction

The Adventures Of Alice In Smutland

2009-08-16T19:42:48-08:00

Author: voldemortperfumes
Crossover: Alice in Wonderland and Twilight
Language: English, Rated: M
Genres: Fantasy/Humor
Pairing: Alice
Chapters: 7, Words: 15,816, Reviews: 64 Updated: 8-16-09 Published: 12-17-08
Status: In-Progress

Alice goes to Wonderland, only a dirtier version. Hilarity and romps ensue. This story is completely illogical, but insanely fun. Features the famous tea party scene, only crazily re-done, and a little or BIG twist at the end, depending on your perception

Denial Is The First Step

2009-07-04T10:08:27-08:00

Author: voldemortperfumes
Category: Twilight
Language: English, Rated: M
Genres: Drama/Angst
Pairing: Alice & Jasper
Chapters: 30, Words: 68,058, Reviews: 319 Updated: 7-4-09 Published: 11-30-08
Status: Complete

We all do it, don't we? Too afraid to take a chance, particularly on love, we prefer to wallow instead in denial, however angsty it may be. Alice too practices this form of action. Jasper, bitter from a past experience, is reluctant. Denial abounds here.

Tease Me, Baby

2009-06-20T07:02:30-08:00

Author: voldemortperfumes
Category: Twilight
Language: English, Rated: M
Genres: Humor/Romance
Pairing: Rosalie & Alice
Chapters: 1, Words: 3,743, Reviews: 6 Published: 6-20-09
Status: Complete

Summer SmutVent entry. Femslash. R/A with some good 'ole fashioned voyeurism.

Choices

2009-05-18T07:10:11-08:00

Author: voldemortperfumes
Category: Twilight
Language: English, Rated: M
Genres: Romance/Mystery
Chapters: 1, Words: 2,189, Reviews: 7 Published: 5-18-09
Status: In-Progress

A short story about the problems that occur in love when one lover is doubtful and has others to make them so. Can YOU guess who's who, and who will be chosen? All-human.

Partie Traumatic

2009-05-18T06:31:37-08:00

Author: voldemortperfumes
Category: Twilight
Language: English, Rated: M
Genres: Romance/Angst
Pairing: Rosalie & Emmett
Chapters: 2, Words: 11,543, Reviews: 8 Updated: 5-18-09 Published: 5-17-09
Status: Complete

ON HIATUS! Vampires with sadistic plots really mess up other people's lives. All-human, canon couples with a focus on R/Em. Rewrite of the original version. Reviews wanted.

Walking The Ghost

2009-04-24T13:09:57-08:00

Author: voldemortperfumes
Category: Twilight
Language: English, Rated: M
Genres: Drama/Angst
Pairing: Bella & Jasper
Chapters: 6, Words: 15,312, Reviews: 44 Updated: 4-24-09 Published: 3-9-09
Status: In-Progress

Bella/Jasper Alice/Edward, others. All-vamp. Featuring Evil!Bella with a penchant for control, a great deal of angst, and what may just be one very surprising ending. Question is, can you handle it? Obviously not a story for Bella fans. Reviews are lovely

Something In The Way

2009-04-24T11:52:39-08:00

Author: voldemortperfumes
Category: Twilight
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Tragedy/Romance
Pairing: James & Alice
Chapters: 1, Words: 592, Reviews: 7 Published: 4-24-09
Status: Complete

Short drabble. James/Alice. "Sometimes you must make the choice between what is right, and what is easy. Too many people pick what's right." Reviews desired.

Spring

2009-04-24T11:23:01-08:00

Author: voldemortperfumes
Category: Twilight
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Romance/Hurt/Comfort
Pairing: Marcus & Renesmee C./Nessie
Chapters: 1, Words: 453, Reviews: 5 Published: 4-24-09
Status: Complete

Short drabble. BD-era... Marcus/Renesmee.

Midnight

2009-04-19T00:52:05-08:00

Author: voldemortperfumes
Category: Twilight
Language: English, Rated: M
Genres: Romance/Hurt/Comfort
Pairing: Alice & Jasper
Chapters: 10, Words: 24,121, Reviews: 74 Updated: 4-19-09 Published: 1-9-09
Status: In-Progress

BxE AxJ. Four strangers in therapy do meet, comfort they do seek. Through evasive speech they do share, what did trouble them at times. When the midnight hour doth strike, only then do they part. Some hang about, all have a unique route, yet love they do.

What's In The Teacup?

2009-04-13T19:09:14-08:00

Author: voldemortperfumes
Category: Alice in Wonderland
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Poetry/Horror
Pairing: Alice & Mad Hatter
Chapters: 1, Words: 372, Reviews: 14 Published: 4-13-09
Status: Complete

The tea party has just gotten a bit morbid. Alice denies it, but she knows what's in the teacup. Do you? -Short poem- Reviews appreciated!

They Don't Just Come Out At Night

2009-04-05T19:41:10-08:00

Author: voldemortperfumes
Category: Twilight
Language: English, Rated: M
Genres: Horror/Humor
Pairing: Alice
Chapters: 5, Words: 22,234, Reviews: 49 Updated: 4-5-09 Published: 1-27-09
Status: In-Progress

They're spies. What are they after? Kickin some vamp ass, that's what! When more killings spring up, Alice, Edward, and Emmett know they have to do something. They're three people on a mission, and they might just find something truly unexpected: love.

How Hot Bitch Got His Muse Back

2009-03-27T22:43:08-08:00

Author: voldemortperfumes
Category: Twilight
Language: English, Rated: M
Genres: Romance/Friendship
Pairing: Carlisle
Chapters: 1, Words: 5,313, Reviews: 18 Published: 3-27-09
Status: Complete

Hot Bitch Carlisle shows up to bring pleasure into the lifes of his book muse and said muse's new girlfriend. Oneshot for the MHB Contest. Lemon. Carlisle x Jasper x Alice.

The Warm And Fuzzies

2009-03-27T01:34:47-08:00

Author: voldemortperfumes
Category: Twilight
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Romance/Hurt/Comfort
Pairing: Jacob & Bella
Chapters: 1, Words: 894, Reviews: 4 Published: 3-27-09
Status: Complete

Jacob ponders his relationship with Bella, and in the process, learns a tidbit about himself. Drabble, Bella/Jacob centric.

Kinky Bella & The Shrubbery

2009-03-04T16:42:22-08:00

Author: voldemortperfumes
Category: Twilight
Language: English, Rated: M
Genres: Humor/Adventure
Pairing: Bella
Chapters: 1, Words: 802, Reviews: 8 Published: 3-4-09
Status: Complete

An 'outtake' kinda of my story "The Adventures of Alice In Smutland". Can be read alone. Co-written with TheOnlyPancake.

Operation Get Mike Laid!

2009-03-04T16:38:38-08:00

Author: voldemortperfumes
Category: Twilight
Language: English, Rated: M
Genres: Romance/Humor
Pairing: Mike & Alice
Chapters: 2, Words: 4,128, Reviews: 11 Updated: 3-4-09 Published: 3-1-09
Status: Complete

For "TheOnlyPancake." Mike's an awesome guy, and let's face it, he needs a little love too! Mike/Vamp pairing, lemon, one-shot. Review!

A Very Meaningful Poem

2009-02-24T19:29:22-08:00

Author: voldemortperfumes
Category: Alice in Wonderland
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Poetry/General
Pairing: Alice
Chapters: 1, Words: 647, Reviews: 7 Published: 2-24-09
Status: Complete

An acrostic poem, centred on madness. The poem itself and the format are quite mad themselves. It is a very meaningful mad poem. Reviews are delightful.

Suckered For Love

2009-02-15T02:28:33-08:00

Author: voldemortperfumes
Category: Twilight
Language: English, Rated: M
Genres: Romance/Adventure
Pairing: Bella & Alice
Chapters: 1, Words: 6,146, Reviews: 14 Published: 2-15-09
Status: Complete

This be a tale of bawdiness, action as well, cursing, swords, and happy ends. So ye be warned, read on only if you dare. Femmeslash, some het pairings, and maybe a three-way if the story continues. Set in medieval times. 3rd Person POV.

Jaded

2009-02-11T18:49:38-08:00

Author: voldemortperfumes
Category: Twilight
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Angst/Hurt/Comfort
Pairing: Bella
Chapters: 1, Words: 4,866, Reviews: 5 Published: 2-11-09
Status: Complete

One-shot. New Moon Alternative. Alice's POV, Bella's POV, and Jacob's POV when Bella goes "cliff-diving." T for language and slight suggestive content, e.g. - Caressing.

Conscience

2009-01-24T23:18:16-08:00

Author: voldemortperfumes
Category: Twilight
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Tragedy/Angst
Pairing: Bella
Chapters: 1, Words: 1,633, Reviews: 26 Published: 1-24-09
Status: Complete

Oneshot. Inspired by another fanfiction; I have permission from the author to post this. Basically it's Bella's story about the horrible situation she just escaped from: her horrific marriage. Rated T for themes.

Quiet Desperation

2009-01-24T02:30:27-08:00

Author: voldemortperfumes
Crossover: Misc. Movies and Twilight
Language: English, Rated: M
Genres: Romance/Angst
Pairing: Bella
Chapters: 1, Words: 2,460, Reviews: 10 Published: 1-24-09
Status: Complete

My 2nd Entry for the SMC contest. Twilight one-shot crossover w/ "Into The Wild." Sweetish lemon, not too crass or anything. Reviews are dandy, and heh, coincidentally, Kristen Stewart's in "Into The Wild," as the girl that's in this lemon.

Practical Application

2009-01-21T00:04:43-08:00

Author: voldemortperfumes
Crossover: Cruel Intentions and Twilight
Language: English, Rated: M
Genres: Drama/Romance
Pairing: Edward
Chapters: 1, Words: 5,795, Reviews: 14 Published: 1-21-09
Status: Complete

My Entry for the SMC Contest. Twilight crossover with Cruel Intentions. One-shot. Feat. Dirty Talkin Edward and Dirty Talkin Jasper. One canon pair, one non-canon. Lots of fun smut. Reviews are oh so adorable. Happy hunting, readers!

Sex Gods & Limo Rides: KittenMischiefContest Entry

2009-01-18T21:46:24-08:00

Author: voldemortperfumes
Category: Twilight
Language: English, Rated: M
Genres: Romance/Humor
Pairing: Bella & Benjamin
Chapters: 1, Words: 4,043, Reviews: 7 Published: 1-18-09
Status: Complete

Co-written with Kayanne. Our Entry for The KittenMischief contest hosted by fiberkitty&mischief-maker1. Bella meets a mysterious stranger who gives her a ride in his limo. Double entendre, anyone? Rated M for lemony content.

Luca Confessions

2009-01-02T22:46:49-08:00

Author: voldemortperfumes
Category: Twilight
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Angst/Supernatural
Pairing: Jasper
Chapters: 2, Words: 2,844, Reviews: 9 Updated: 1-2-09 Published: 12-29-08
Status: Complete

Jasper speaks about his past, both about what happened, and how it made him feel. Two-chapter story. Inspired by the song "Luca" by: Brand New. Rated K plus for the odd swear word here and there.

With Your Permission

2009-01-02T01:20:36-08:00

Author: voldemortperfumes
Category: Twilight
Language: English, Rated: M
Genres: Drama/Romance
Pairing: Alice & Edward
Chapters: 1, Words: 4,382, Reviews: 14 Published: 1-2-09
Status: Complete

All that teasing, all those times they'd joked about being with each other's spouses...why god it was practically an invitation! Edward x Alice. Lemon. One-shot.

Social Experiment

2008-12-28T23:08:41-08:00

Author: voldemortperfumes
Category: Twilight
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Romance/Friendship
Pairing: Bella & Edward
Chapters: 15, Words: 30,994, Reviews: 159 Updated: 12-28-08 Published: 10-13-08
Status: Complete

ON HIATUS! Psychologist Edward Cullen is holding an experiment. Bella becomes a participant in the study, and finds that she's closer to him than she ever dreamed. BxE fic. All-human. LEMONs later on. Also A x J & Em x R.

Separation

2008-12-12T00:29:38-08:00

Author: voldemortperfumes
Category: Twilight
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Supernatural/Angst
Pairing: Edward
Chapters: 1, Words: 993, Reviews: 6 Published: 12-12-08
Status: Complete

A one-shot based on an extremely trite and overused idea: How Edward felt and why he left Bella in New Moon. The only case I can make for it is that it's not just about he feels, but the family too. Reviews would be delicious.

How The Grinchette Got Loose

2008-12-10T16:30:42-08:00

Author: voldemortperfumes
Category: Twilight
Language: English, Rated: M
Genres: Humor/Romance
Pairing: Rosalie
Chapters: 1, Words: 4,368, Reviews: 9 Published: 12-10-08
Status: Complete

All holiday and no cheer makes Rosalie a dull girl. However, certain forces cause her to lighten up. All-human, one shot. R x E; R x A; R x Em. Includes femmeslash. Review! Also called "Goldilocks and the Three Ho Ho Ho's."

We're All Going To Miss Them

2008-12-01T15:58:46-08:00

Author: voldemortperfumes
Category: Twilight
Language: English, Rated: M
Genres: Friendship/Romance
Pairing: Alice & Emmett
Chapters: 1, Words: 5,160, Reviews: 17 Published: 12-1-08
Status: Complete

One-shot. The gang: A virgin, her boyfriend, an overeager brother, a moody brother, a girly friend. It's their last night before they split to different colleges. What takes place is merely human. All-human, in fact.

Roxy, Don't You Love Me?

2008-11-27T15:25:59-08:00

Author: voldemortperfumes
Category: Twilight
Language: English, Rated: M
Genres: Romance/Angst
Pairing: Bella & Edward
Chapters: 1, Words: 2,445, Reviews: 11 Published: 11-27-08
Status: Complete

One-shot. Edward x Bella. Edward's skeptical of his friend's choices in party locations, but he soon changes his mind. Lemony content.

In The Lee

2008-11-27T15:24:11-08:00

Author: voldemortperfumes
Category: Twilight
Language: English, Rated: M
Genres: Romance/Friendship
Pairing: Alice & Jasper
Chapters: 1, Words: 1,998, Reviews: 7 Published: 11-27-08
Status: Complete

One-shot. Alice x Jasper. She tells him a story. He sympathizes. Lemony content.

Her Eyes Merry

2008-11-27T15:21:59-08:00

Author: voldemortperfumes
Category: Twilight
Language: English, Rated: M
Genres: Romance/General
Pairing: Esme & Carlisle
Chapters: 1, Words: 1,542, Reviews: 5 Published: 11-27-08
Status: Complete

One-shot. Esme x Carlisle. Times this pleasant are few and inbetween. Enjoy them. Lemony content.

Don't Talk To Strangers

2008-11-27T15:19:06-08:00

Author: voldemortperfumes
Category: Twilight
Language: English, Rated: M
Genres: Romance/General
Pairing: Bella & Edward
Chapters: 1, Words: 1,480, Reviews: 7 Published: 11-27-08
Status: Complete

One-shot. Bella x Edward. Your mother said not to talk to strangers, but she never said you couldn't touch them. Lemony content.

I Didn't Cheat

2008-11-27T15:09:55-08:00

Author: voldemortperfumes
Category: Twilight
Language: English, Rated: K
Genres: General/Family
Pairing: Jasper & Carlisle
Chapters: 1, Words: 1,233, Reviews: 9 Published: 11-27-08
Status: Complete

One-shot. Jasper "cheats" on a term-paper at college, and other things ensue. Done for the "Let's Go To Uni" contest hosted a while back. I've edited and am now reposting it.

Halloween

2008-11-27T15:07:13-08:00

Author: voldemortperfumes
Category: Twilight
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor/General
Pairing: Jessica & Edward
Chapters: 1, Words: 1,151, Reviews: 5 Published: 11-27-08
Status: Complete

One-shot. Edward is roped into helping Jessica Stanley with this year's haunted house in Forks.

The Inner Psyche

2008-11-24T17:19:02-08:00

Author: voldemortperfumes
Category: Twilight
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: General/Angst
Chapters: 2, Words: 3,041, Reviews: 7 Updated: 11-24-08 Published: 11-22-08
Status: Complete

A series of drabbles into the minds of the characters. First up is Victoria at the end of "Twilight." Requests are welcome. Be sure to read author's note.

Snuff On Digital

2008-11-24T11:54:46-08:00

Author: voldemortperfumes
Category: Twilight
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Angst/Hurt/Comfort
Pairing: Alice & Jasper
Chapters: 1, Words: 2,306, Reviews: 6 Published: 11-24-08
Status: Complete

Weird title, but it's derived from a song. One-shot set when Jasper and Alice ran off in "Breaking Dawn." Slight SPOILERS. Fluff/Angst.

Pointless

2008-11-14T22:10:39-08:00

Author: voldemortperfumes
Category: Twilight
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Horror/Humor
Pairing: James & Jessica
Chapters: 3, Words: 5,911, Reviews: 6 Updated: 11-14-08 Published: 11-13-08
Status: Complete

Aren't bad boys always sexy? Aren't girls always easy to get information out of? In this case, yes. Set during "Twilight." Obviously a little AU, but I rather adore the concept. Give it a try, you might even like it.

A Lover's Promise

2008-11-07T20:13:17-08:00

Author: voldemortperfumes
Category: Sweeney Todd
Language: English, Rated: K
Genres: Romance/Poetry
Pairing: Anthony H. & Johanna B.
Chapters: 1, Words: 347, Reviews: 2 Published: 11-7-08
Status: Complete

A love poem from Anthony to Johanna.

Bullet For My Valentine

2008-11-06T21:11:45-08:00

Author: voldemortperfumes
Category: Sweeney Todd
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Horror/Poetry
Pairing: Sweeney T. & Nellie L.
Chapters: 1, Words: 212, Reviews: 7 Published: 11-6-08
Status: Complete

Short poem about why Mrs. Lovett was given to the fire at the end of the movie.

Beltain's Eve

2008-11-02T17:07:35-08:00

Author: voldemortperfumes
Category: Twilight
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Romance/Poetry
Pairing: Carlisle & Esme
Chapters: 1, Words: 1,993, Reviews: 7 Updated: 11-2-08 Published: 10-10-08
Status: Complete

C x Es. It's AU--She's a human, he's a vamp. One-shot.