FanFiction.Net - Professor Cassandra's fanfiction

Princess Sweeney and the Amazing Rick Man

2009-11-02T19:30:13-08:00

Author: Professor Cassandra
Category: Harry Potter
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor/Parody
Pairing: Voldemort & Bellatrix L.
Chapters: 1, Words: 2,872, Reviews: 10 Published: 11-2-09
Status: In-Progress

No one throws a Halloween party quite like the Death Eaters, as you, dear readers, will soon discover. Whether you will find yourself amused by their drunken antics or scarred for life is beyond this author. Hopefully a little of each. Happy Halloween!

Stalking You

2009-08-31T12:43:52-08:00

Author: Professor Cassandra
Category: Harry Potter
Language: English, Rated: K
Genres: Humor/Poetry
Pairing: Bellatrix L. & Voldemort
Chapters: 1, Words: 396, Reviews: 3 Published: 8-31-09
Status: Complete

A parody of the song "Calling You" by Blue October, as sung by Bellatrix Lestrange to the love of her life, Lord Voldemort...who she stalks. Go Bella!

I Belong With Me

2009-08-24T14:45:01-08:00

Author: Professor Cassandra
Category: Harry Potter
Language: English, Rated: K
Genres: Humor/Poetry
Pairing: Voldemort & Bellatrix L.
Chapters: 1, Words: 508, Reviews: 12 Published: 8-24-09
Status: In-Progress

A love song from Voldemort to...well, himself. A parody of "You Belong With Me" by Taylor Swift.

Lord Voldemort and the Purple Roadmonkeys

2009-08-14T13:00:41-08:00

Author: Professor Cassandra
Category: Harry Potter
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor/General
Pairing: Voldemort & Bellatrix L.
Chapters: 13, Words: 31,041, Reviews: 171 Updated: 8-14-09 Published: 12-25-08
Status: In-Progress

Maintaining a dark and evil reputation is undoubtedly stressful, so once per year the Dark Lord and his followers take a much needed holiday. This year he has decided to form a biker gang most deadly, and only one name will suffice: The Purple Roadmonkeys

The Insane Adventures of Wormtail and Babymort

2009-06-09T18:05:39-08:00

Author: Professor Cassandra
Category: Harry Potter
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor/Parody
Pairing: Voldemort & Peter P.
Chapters: 2, Words: 2,281, Reviews: 23 Updated: 6-9-09 Published: 5-11-09
Status: In-Progress

A series of one-shots about Wormtail and the Dark Lord, still in his grotesque baby form. Turns out they had some pretty insane adventures before that fateful night in the graveyard! OOC behavior...no, really.

Valentine's Day at Malfoy Manor

2009-02-14T12:52:29-08:00

Author: Professor Cassandra
Category: Harry Potter
Language: English, Rated: K
Genres: Humor/Parody
Pairing: Voldemort & Bellatrix L.
Chapters: 1, Words: 2,327, Reviews: 14 Published: 2-14-09
Status: Complete

What happens when Bellatrix Lestrange gives a powerful love potion to the Dark Lord Voldemort? Hilarity, that's what!

The Annual Death Eater Beach Trip

2008-12-14T15:26:22-08:00

Author: Professor Cassandra
Category: Harry Potter
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Parody/Humor
Pairing: Voldemort & Bellatrix L.
Chapters: 19, Words: 25,802, Reviews: 187 Updated: 12-14-08 Published: 9-13-08
Status: Complete

You probably think of Voldemort and his Death Eaters as terrible, heartless people, and you are normally correct. But for one week every year, they are able to escape the stress of the wizarding world by going on vacation…the muggle way!

The 12 Days of Voldemas!

2008-11-25T08:51:04-08:00

Author: Professor Cassandra
Category: Harry Potter
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor/Poetry
Pairing: Voldemort & Bellatrix L.
Chapters: 1, Words: 1,014, Reviews: 30 Published: 11-25-08
Status: Complete

This is a wacky, random version of the 12 Days of Christmas sung by none other than...the Dark Lord Voldemort! Just a little something to help you get into the spirit of the holidays.

A Day In the Life of Lord Voldemort

2008-10-07T10:04:54-08:00

Author: Professor Cassandra
Category: Harry Potter
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor/Parody
Pairing: Voldemort & Bellatrix L.
Chapters: 1, Words: 1,915, Reviews: 19 Published: 10-7-08
Status: Complete

We've seen the Dark Lord at his worst. We have seen the true horrors he is capable of. But do we really know all of his true characteristics? Read on as I chronicle a day in the life of Lord Voldemort, but be warned...what you find may shock you.

Till Avada Kedavra Do Us Part

2008-07-16T11:47:51-08:00

Author: Professor Cassandra
Category: Harry Potter
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor/Parody
Pairing: Bellatrix L. & Rodolphus L.
Chapters: 1, Words: 1,388, Reviews: 21 Published: 7-16-08
Status: Complete

Ivana D. Vorce, the most esteemed marriage counselor in London, is about to receive a visit from the wizarding world's most dysfunctional couple: Bellatrix and Rodolphus Lestrange. What could go wrong?

Tresses of Terror

2008-07-16T11:43:43-08:00

Author: Professor Cassandra
Category: Harry Potter
Language: English, Rated: K
Genres: Humor
Pairing: Voldemort
Chapters: 1, Words: 866, Reviews: 8 Published: 7-16-08
Status: Complete

When the Dark Lord comes to the startling revelation that he is bald, he ventures out on an epic quest to locate the perfect hairpiece to accentuate his malevolence.

The Dark Mart

2008-07-11T09:49:57-08:00

Author: Professor Cassandra
Category: Harry Potter
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor
Pairing: Voldemort & Bellatrix L.
Chapters: 3, Words: 3,800, Reviews: 23 Published: 7-11-08
Status: Complete

Even Death Eaters need to stock up on the necessities sometimes, and Lord Voldemort must provide. So how does the malevolent Dark Lord handle this daunting task? Why, he goes shopping, of course! This is my first fan fic.