FanFiction.Net - Ivory Tower's fanfiction

The Mad and Zany Misadventures of Lucius and Snape

2004-08-10T17:27:15-08:00

Author: Ivory Tower
Category: Harry Potter
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor/General
Chapters: 6, Words: 9,247, Reviews: 81 Updated: 8-10-04 Published: 1-3-03
Status: In-Progress

On their own these two are evil and menacing, but when they get together they encounter the oddest situations. Chapter 6: Explore the realm of utter grooviness that is Lucius Malfoy's garden. Yes! The one place where he and Snape find true happiness!

Candy Induced Chaos

2004-06-13T14:51:24-08:00

Author: Ivory Tower
Category: Harry Potter
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor/Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 1,060, Reviews: 20 Published: 6-13-04
Status: In-Progress

What horrors arise in the great hall as a result of too much candy and other substances? Who'd have thought Lupin could shed his modesty? Who'd have thought Snape could be so carefree? Hogwarts will never be the same after today.

The Carnie Elves Incident

2004-06-13T14:08:47-08:00

Author: Ivory Tower
Category: Lord of the Rings
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor/Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 2,126, Reviews: 3 Published: 6-13-04
Status: In-Progress

What will the rest of the fellowship do when Legolas is kidnapped by the vengeful King of the Carnie Elves? Features frozen yogurt, many fried foods and a lovable pair of Siamese dwarves. Fun for the whole family! Or not.

Parody Paradise

2004-05-31T14:44:06-08:00

Author: Ivory Tower
Category: Harry Potter
Language: English, Rated: M
Genres: Humor/Parody
Chapters: 25, Words: 36,800, Reviews: 184 Updated: 5-31-04 Published: 12-12-02
Status: In-Progress

Warped Draco angst, dirty boutiques, and bizarre perversion! Chapter 24 up: Ginny is really an elven princess! This means the nonsense cannot be measured by any scale known to mankind! Jolly good fun here, kiddies!

Drunken Debauchery Down in the Dungeon

2004-03-28T17:15:49-08:00

Author: Ivory Tower
Category: Harry Potter
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor/Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 1,646, Reviews: 20 Published: 3-28-04
Status: In-Progress

The incident was crazy enough with Snape and Lucius forcing the class to do unwholesome things. Then Sirius walked in and things got completely out of hand!

A Day With the Marauders and Company!

2004-03-22T17:26:56-08:00

Author: Ivory Tower
Category: Harry Potter
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor/Parody
Chapters: 1, Words: 561, Reviews: 12 Published: 3-22-04
Status: In-Progress

Join James and the gang for a fun-filled day at Hogwarts! Insults! Makeovers! It's all here, kiddies, and Peter gets the boot (big surprise, eh?)

Pancakes and Tequila Don't Mix

2004-03-20T14:17:26-08:00

Author: Ivory Tower
Category: X-overs
Language: English, Rated: M
Genres: Humor/General
Chapters: 2, Words: 3,661, Reviews: 22 Updated: 3-20-04 Published: 1-6-03
Status: In-Progress

Join Frodo, the Metatron, and the Sheriff as Frodo sets out to establish the best brothel in Middle Earth! Chapt 2. Snape arrives to teach Frodo the finer art of writing tasteless tales. The Sheriff and the Metatron continue to bicker.

The Day the Incredible Happened

2004-03-14T15:01:27-08:00

Author: Ivory Tower
Category: Harry Potter
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: General/Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 962, Reviews: 22 Published: 3-14-04
Status: In-Progress

Ginny thinks back on the day she witnessed something very unusual: the day she saw Snape laugh. Kinda leaves ya with a warm feeling.

Up All Night

2004-03-08T17:37:45-08:00

Author: Ivory Tower
Category: Lord of the Rings
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor/Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 838, Reviews: 15 Published: 3-8-04
Status: In-Progress

Legolas and Aragorn role play as the others try to sleep. The others don't quite get it, except for poor Frodo.

Wedding Nausea

2004-03-07T17:28:15-08:00

Author: Ivory Tower
Category: Harry Potter
Language: English, Rated: M
Genres: Humor/Parody
Chapters: 1, Words: 1,891, Reviews: 15 Published: 3-7-04
Status: In-Progress

It's Lily's wedding day and everyone has something to gripe about. A harsh jab at all those wedding fics that make you want to gag.

None of This Should Be Happening!

2004-02-29T15:28:55-08:00

Author: Ivory Tower
Category: Harry Potter
Language: English, Rated: M
Genres: Humor/Parody
Chapters: 1, Words: 2,462, Reviews: 19 Published: 2-29-04
Status: In-Progress

When a perverted item is stolen from Dumbledore's office, he enlists the aide of Hermione and Snape to find it-after he forces them to marry, of course.

Vanity to the Extreme

2004-02-16T17:29:18-08:00

Author: Ivory Tower
Category: Harry Potter
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor/Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 1,106, Reviews: 25 Published: 2-16-04
Status: In-Progress

It is a well accepted fact that Draco is vain, but this is just plain odd! Tis unhealthy to pay so much attention to certain areas of one's body!

Why Snape Isn't A Physician

2004-02-15T16:14:13-08:00

Author: Ivory Tower
Category: Harry Potter
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor/Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 694, Reviews: 14 Published: 2-15-04
Status: In-Progress

It's a very good thing that Snape decided to teach. I pity all Gryffindors everywhere.

Scroogy Snape

2003-12-16T15:46:32-08:00

Author: Ivory Tower
Category: Harry Potter
Language: English, Rated: M
Genres: Humor/Parody
Chapters: 1, Words: 1,568, Reviews: 19 Published: 12-16-03
Status: In-Progress

And now a parody of all those annoying Snapish Christmas fics. Smut and sarcasm galore, kiddies!

A Disfunctional Family Christmas

2003-12-14T14:46:30-08:00

Author: Ivory Tower
Category: Harry Potter
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor/Parody
Chapters: 3, Words: 3,597, Reviews: 38 Updated: 12-14-03 Published: 12-9-03
Status: In-Progress

Here's a little Christmas play starring Snape, Harry, Hermione, Draco and Ron as a "normal, loving" family. Chapter 3 is up! Be fearful and rejoice

The Shower Incident

2003-11-11T15:43:23-08:00

Author: Ivory Tower
Category: Harry Potter
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor/Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 911, Reviews: 43 Published: 11-11-03
Status: In-Progress

NAKED SNAPE! Now that I have your attention, read all about Snape's strange experience in the shower.

What Lies Beneath

2003-10-19T15:42:59-08:00

Author: Ivory Tower
Category: Harry Potter
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor/Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 1,708, Reviews: 25 Published: 10-19-03
Status: In-Progress

Harry gets the strangest urge to look under...oooh, naughty places! Ron and Hermione get in on the fun! Oh, the secrets they find!

How It Really Happened

2003-10-15T16:36:37-08:00

Author: Ivory Tower
Category: Harry Potter
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor/Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 437, Reviews: 25 Published: 10-15-03
Status: In-Progress

The story of Harry's parents, the Marauders, and Snape. This is how it really happened folks.

Oddities

2003-04-20T10:55:05-08:00

Author: Ivory Tower
Category: Harry Potter
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor/Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 1,055, Reviews: 20 Published: 4-20-03
Status: In-Progress

Lupin's gone batty, Snape's tied up, there's an angry mob after Draco-what's going on? Brief appearences by the Metatron and the Sheriff.

The Unmentionable Curse

2003-03-23T13:51:45-08:00

Author: Ivory Tower
Category: Harry Potter
Language: English, Rated: M
Genres: Humor/Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 1,278, Reviews: 38 Published: 3-23-03
Status: In-Progress

The new DADA professor teaches the children a very naughty curse! Most inappropriate, indeed! Rated R for language!

And the Fan Girls Wept

2003-02-20T14:46:23-08:00

Author: Ivory Tower
Category: Harry Potter
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor/Parody
Chapters: 1, Words: 1,030, Reviews: 30 Published: 2-20-03
Status: In-Progress

Snape and Legolas have multitudes of fans and Lucius feels left out! Can Snape save the day? Those with a warped sense of humor are welcome!

The Horror That Is Ron's MindOr Is It?

2003-02-07T14:53:35-08:00

Author: Ivory Tower
Category: Harry Potter
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor/Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 857, Reviews: 15 Published: 2-7-03
Status: In-Progress

All Ron wanted was some recognition. Instead, he got this...

Have You Seen My?

2003-02-05T14:05:50-08:00

Author: Ivory Tower
Category: Harry Potter
Language: English, Rated: M
Genres: Humor/General
Chapters: 1, Words: 398, Reviews: 41 Published: 2-5-03
Status: In-Progress

Draco has lost an integral part of his, ahem, manhood. Yes, kiddies, it's what you're thinking! Oh, wherever could it be?

The Spanky Dance

2003-01-28T15:00:48-08:00

Author: Ivory Tower
Category: Lord of the Rings
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor/General
Chapters: 1, Words: 940, Reviews: 20 Published: 1-28-03
Status: In-Progress

This dance is forbidden throughout all of Middle Earth! Find out what makes it so! There's a reason this dance was banned. Leave it to a hobbit to buck the system!!!

The Fellowship's Screwed Up Stay

2002-12-30T14:39:34-08:00

Author: Ivory Tower
Category: Lord of the Rings
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor/General
Chapters: 1, Words: 1,001, Reviews: 11 Published: 12-30-02
Status: In-Progress

On their way to France(yes, you read that correctly)the fellowship stay in a suite. Drinking and decadence follow! Never again will they partake of room service or the yellow pages!

Ice Cream and Alcohol

2002-12-26T14:04:28-08:00

Author: Ivory Tower
Category: Harry Potter
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor/General
Chapters: 1, Words: 1,352, Reviews: 35 Published: 12-26-02
Status: In-Progress

What lengths will Lucius go to for a simple ice cream cone? Poor Snape, he was only stocking up on potion supplies, and now this!

It Started Out Innocently Enough

2002-12-19T14:30:43-08:00

Author: Ivory Tower
Category: Harry Potter
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor/General
Chapters: 1, Words: 484, Reviews: 33 Published: 12-19-02
Status: In-Progress

Ever wondered what Snape and Lucius were doing during the Quidditch scene in the movie? The shockning truth is revealed with all the twisted details! Lucius is a sadomasachistic freak! Snape tries to ignore him. You'll never look at the Quidditch scen

The Mad Tea Party

2002-12-18T12:00:40-08:00

Author: Ivory Tower
Category: Harry Potter
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor/Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 756, Reviews: 48 Published: 12-18-02
Status: In-Progress

An insanely polite little story. Join Harry, Ron, Hermione, Malfoy, McGonagall and Snape for the oddest cup of tea you'll ever read about! Jolly good stuff! PG-13 for drug references.

Some Things Are Better Off Left Alone

2002-12-13T15:36:39-08:00

Author: Ivory Tower
Category: Harry Potter
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor/General
Chapters: 1, Words: 3,064, Reviews: 13 Published: 12-13-02
Status: In-Progress

Snape's in the hospital and the students are determined to find out what's ailing the evil Potions Professor. The only thing worse than this is when they decide to try and cheer him up. Oh dear...Snape is not pleased. Not at all.

Professor Snape's Twelve Days of Christmas

2002-12-12T14:42:57-08:00

Author: Ivory Tower
Category: Harry Potter
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor/Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 486, Reviews: 12 Published: 12-12-02
Status: In-Progress

You know you want to read about the interesting and horrid gifts the grumpy Potions Master gives to his most annoying studen/fan! Do you agree that Snape would retaliate with these abominable treasures? Take a peek and see!

The Madness of Muggle Movies

2002-12-10T16:46:26-08:00

Author: Ivory Tower
Category: Harry Potter
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor/Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 1,611, Reviews: 18 Published: 12-10-02
Status: In-Progress

Journey with Harry, Ron, and Hermione as they brave the hilarious setbacks of movie making for their latest school project! Oh the humanity!

Snape and Certain Sandwiches Don't Mix

2002-12-09T16:35:11-08:00

Author: Ivory Tower
Category: Harry Potter
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor/Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 986, Reviews: 15 Published: 12-9-02
Status: In-Progress

Dare you witness the horrors that befall Snape as he prowls the corridors and eats his beloved sandwich? This is very strange, so be warned.

Whole Lotta Trouble

2002-08-13T14:27:17-08:00

Author: Ivory Tower
Category: Harry Potter
Language: English, Rated: K
Genres: Humor/General
Chapters: 1, Words: 2,266, Reviews: 12 Published: 8-13-02
Status: In-Progress

Oh the mishaps poor Ginny suffers while trying to get Harry to notice her. What creepy, crawley things Snape keeps in his dungeon... A story for anyone who had a good intention that failed miserably

Drivin' Around In My Automobile

2002-08-05T16:44:54-08:00

Author: Ivory Tower
Category: Harry Potter
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor/General
Chapters: 2, Words: 4,092, Reviews: 36 Updated: 8-5-02 Published: 4-23-02
Status: In-Progress

Dumbledore makes Driver's Ed. a requirement for everyone at Hogwarts. The question is who are the worse drivers: the students or the teachers? Chapter 2 is up: Snape is officially a driving instructer. Oh the horrific madness!

Original" Format for a Marauders Fic

2002-07-29T13:52:03-08:00

Author: Ivory Tower
Category: Harry Potter
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor/Parody
Chapters: 1, Words: 755, Reviews: 31 Published: 7-29-02
Status: In-Progress

A silly jab of fun at all those Marauders fics circulating about.

Ain't No Cure For the Summertime Blues

2002-07-28T07:52:51-08:00

Author: Ivory Tower
Category: Harry Potter
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor/General
Chapters: 3, Words: 2,994, Reviews: 29 Updated: 7-28-02 Published: 4-12-02
Status: In-Progress

Snape's usual holiday of solitude is disrupted by his new newlwed neighbors Remus Lupin and Sirius Black, and Black just can't resist pushing Snape's buttons! ALL GLICHES ARE FIXED!!! Chapter 3: Snape and the garden gnomes feud.

Hot Fun in the Summertime or By The Pool

2002-06-27T13:32:42-08:00

Author: Ivory Tower
Category: Harry Potter
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor/General
Chapters: 1, Words: 2,388, Reviews: 14 Published: 6-27-02
Status: In-Progress

What a lovely day for a swim at a local pool...wait a tick-why is that lifeguard decked out in black robes and why is he glaring at you?

Rootbeer Halloween Party

2002-04-10T20:18:56-08:00

Author: Ivory Tower
Category: Harry Potter
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor/General
Chapters: 1, Words: 1,105, Reviews: 34 Published: 4-10-02
Status: In-Progress

The Hogwart's faculty get drunk off of spiked rootbeer and terrorize everyone, including each other! Read and review!!!

Mind Controlling Conspiracy

2002-03-08T19:12:10-08:00

Author: Ivory Tower
Category: Harry Potter
Language: English, Rated: K
Genres: Humor/Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 623, Reviews: 37 Published: 3-8-02
Status: In-Progress

Poor Ron, he's having a bad day and now this... For those who have an off-center sense of humor. It's hilarious! Read and Review!