FanFiction.Net - Diresquirrel's stories

I Fall(out) to Pieces

2013-05-21T11:14:16-08:00

Author: Diresquirrel
Harry Potter and Fallout
English, Rated: M
Adventure/Humor
Harry P.
Chapters: 9, Words: 43,358, Reviews: 163, In-Progress

War... War never changes. In the year 2076, Europe is consumed in war. Muggle Britain stands mostly intact, but it will not remain so for long. Concurrently, Magical Britain denies the return of the most feared wizard in generations. In all of this, what is UK-13? And what does it have to do with Harry Potter?

Genetech Discrepancy

2013-04-17T20:01:31-08:00

Author: Diresquirrel
Buffy: The Vampire Slayer and Jurassic Park
English, Rated: T
Adventure/Supernatural
Buffy S. & Tyrannosaurus
Chapters: 13, Words: 16,962, Reviews: 44, In-Progress

Buffy is thrust into a new situation when she finds out that her mother's estranged father recently died. With Joyce dead, Buffy and Dawn have to pick up the pieces. Crossover with the Book verse of Jurassic Park by Michael Crichton

Thinking in Little Green Boxes

2013-03-15T09:31:22-08:00

Author: Diresquirrel
Harry Potter and Deadpool
English, Rated: T
Humor/Parody
Harry P.
Chapters: 47, Words: 101,827, Reviews: 559, In-Progress

A certain young wizard ends up at 4 Privy Drive instead of 4 Privet Drive. He is raised with loving care by a cuddly Merc with a Mouth. WARNING: now with 19.96% more Death Eaters and a Rodent of Death.

Xander of the Red Robes

2013-03-15T09:23:08-08:00

Author: Diresquirrel
Buffy: The Vampire Slayer and Dragonlance
English, Rated: T
Horror/Adventure
Xander H. & Raistlin
Chapters: 5, Words: 21,064, Reviews: 48, In-Progress

Jesse bought the costumes. It was too late to change into something else, and so Xander was stuck with face paint and hourglass contact lenses. Slightly AU for Buffy. Halloween fic for Halloween.

False Starts Harry Potter

2013-02-14T09:48:25-08:00

Author: Diresquirrel
Harry Potter
English, Rated: T
General
Harry P.
Chapters: 13, Words: 59,933, Reviews: 269, In-Progress

A series of disjointed story ideas that never went anywhere. They're all HP of sorts, with different twists and ideas that ran out before they became full fledged stories.

Voldemort's Bad Day

2013-01-29T09:13:07-08:00

Author: Diresquirrel
Harry Potter
English, Rated: T
Humor/General
Voldemort
Chapters: 1, Words: 2,161, Reviews: 23, Complete

Voldemort is having a bad day. A very bad day.

A Parody of Soul Bonds

2013-01-10T16:44:41-08:00

Author: Diresquirrel
Harry Potter
English, Rated: K+
Parody/Humor
Harry P.
Chapters: 1, Words: 1,425, Reviews: 30, Complete

Harry and Hermione decide to make a soul bond, despite not really knowing what they are doing. Horlarity ensues (portmanteau of "Horror" and "Hilarity"). This short story is not to be taken seriously.

A Crime Fitting the Punishment or Dumbledore's Monster

2012-12-30T18:26:04-08:00

Author: Diresquirrel
Harry Potter
English, Rated: T
Drama/Horror
Albus D.
Chapters: 1, Words: 12,081, Reviews: 100, Complete

Albus Dumbledore gets an unexpected visitor in his office one late summer night. The Headmaster finds himself talking to a monster he never knew could arise from his actions. Darkish.

False Starts Naruto

2012-12-30T18:12:35-08:00

Author: Diresquirrel
Naruto
English, Rated: T
General
Naruto U.
Chapters: 7, Words: 11,489, Reviews: 67, In-Progress

This is a series of ideas and blips that started out, but I wasn't ever able to fully flesh out. Some good, some not so good, but most have a silly side to them. All focus on the Naruto 'verse, specifically on the manga.

Every Silver Lining has its Cloud

2012-06-13T12:28:50-08:00

Author: Diresquirrel
Buffy: The Vampire Slayer and Dungeons and Dragons
English, Rated: T
Fantasy/Adventure
Chapters: 46, Words: 219,814, Reviews: 111, In-Progress

Forgotten Realms Crossover Buffy is late in stopping Angelus and most of Sunnydale is pulled into Acathla's portal ending up in the Nether Mountains in northern Faerun. Warnings for occasional naughty words, heavy violence, and gnomes.

Not Your Average Konoha Academy Graduate

2012-04-14T13:31:51-08:00

Author: Diresquirrel
Naruto and Dresden Files
English, Rated: T
Fantasy/Mystery
Naruto U. & Bob
Chapters: 4, Words: 13,846, Reviews: 99, In-Progress

The castle just collapsed and it wasn't my fault. Really. Can't a guy have a beachside vacation in peace? If you don't know, I'm Naruto Uzumaki. I'm a wizard. Here's my card. And for the last time: no, I don't do love potions.

False Starts Buffy the Vampire Slayer

2011-11-08T06:29:12-08:00

Author: Diresquirrel
Buffy: The Vampire Slayer
English, Rated: T
General
Buffy S.
Chapters: 8, Words: 25,051, Reviews: 45, In-Progress

A series of story ideas that never went anywhere. A few work well as one shots but are a bit short, others are shards of ideas that may or may not be expanded. Some good, some not so much.

Dobby House Elf and the Popular Culture

2011-09-21T18:07:34-08:00

Author: Diresquirrel
Harry Potter
English, Rated: T
Humor/Parody
Dobby & Harry P.
Chapters: 3, Words: 8,585, Reviews: 44, Complete

Harry makes the mistake of letting people around an impressionable poor house elf. Dobby takes his obsessions a little too seriously. Rating for violence. Yes, violence.

Naruto: Weapon X

2011-08-27T13:22:11-08:00

Author: Diresquirrel
X-Men and Naruto
English, Rated: T
Tragedy/Adventure
James H./Wolverine/Logan & Naruto U.
Chapters: 1, Words: 8,237, Reviews: 30, Complete

A telling of the Weapon X storyline by way of the Naruto world. Don't expect a happy Naruto

Yub Yub Commander

2011-08-26T19:00:24-08:00

Author: Diresquirrel
Star Wars and Buffy: The Vampire Slayer
English, Rated: T
Humor/Sci-Fi
Xander H.
Chapters: 6, Words: 26,190, Reviews: 62, In-Progress

My friend wanted me to write a Star Wars cross. Her Requirements: no Jedi, no standard relationships and no Xander the Hutt. Xander gets some people to dress up for Halloween as a memorial to Jesse. SG1 eventually.

Are you sure this was a good idea?

2011-07-15T17:53:21-08:00

Author: Diresquirrel
Buffy: The Vampire Slayer and Harry Potter
English, Rated: T
Humor/Romance
Dawn S.
Chapters: 17, Words: 38,334, Reviews: 152, In-Progress

Stupid Magical Contracts! Harry and Hermione discover that magic doesn't have the same kind of sense of humor that they are used to. Also, Hermione accidentally becomes a Big Bad. Warning: 'Tis a silly fic.

Naruto Uzumaki and the Deus Ex Machina no Jutsu

2011-04-20T19:55:05-08:00

Author: Diresquirrel
Naruto
English, Rated: T
Parody
Naruto U.
Chapters: 1, Words: 9,231, Reviews: 60, In-Progress

THE OBLIGATORY TIME TRAVEL FIC! This is pure parody where Naruto is transported back in time from a terrible future via Madara's Deus Ex Machina no Jutsu.

Shadow over Hogwarts

2011-04-16T06:00:36-08:00

Author: Diresquirrel
Batman and Harry Potter
English, Rated: T
Drama/Adventure
Harry P.
Chapters: 11, Words: 22,563, Reviews: 57, Complete

Ten years ago they won the battle: Voldemort was dead. They didn't realize that at the same time they had lost the war. Now, a shadow lurks over the Wizarding World that threatens to change everything. AU Harry Potter.

Rabbit Summoning

2011-04-12T19:49:00-08:00

Author: Diresquirrel
Naruto
English, Rated: T
Humor/Parody
Chapters: 1, Words: 4,588, Reviews: 25, Complete

A silly little thing happened when Naruto decided that Toads just weren't cool enough. So he wrote his own contract, but it didn't work out quite the way he expected.

Destruction! The Obligatory Halloween Fic!

2011-03-20T15:21:45-08:00

Author: Diresquirrel
Buffy: The Vampire Slayer and Slayers
English, Rated: T
Humor/Parody
Willow R. & Lina I.
Chapters: 3, Words: 12,123, Reviews: 33, In-Progress

The Slayers via costumes arrive in Sunnydale! Property damage and hilarity ensues.

Three corn fed farmboys

2010-12-14T09:45:21-08:00

Author: Diresquirrel
X-overs
English, Rated: K+
Humor/Sci-Fi
Chapters: 1, Words: 1,623, Reviews: 8, Complete

Three men meet at their ten year college reunion and discover they have more than the same school in common. SG1, BtVS, DC

Clearance

2010-11-06T14:37:36-08:00

Author: Diresquirrel
Buffy: The Vampire Slayer and Eureka
English, Rated: K+
Humor/Family
Jack C.
Chapters: 1, Words: 1,211, Reviews: 18, Complete

Jack Carter asks Jo a question on a particularly dull day. One shot.

A Parody of Marriage Contracts

2010-11-01T08:07:54-08:00

Author: Diresquirrel
Harry Potter
English, Rated: K
Humor/Parody
Minerva M.
Chapters: 1, Words: 962, Reviews: 40, Complete

Professor Sinistra has to explain a situation to the Deputy Headmistress. 'Tis a silly fic.

Surprise! Harry's got a Grandma!

2010-10-20T09:44:31-08:00

Author: Diresquirrel
Harry Potter and Slayers
English, Rated: T
Humor/Fantasy
Harry P. & Lina I.
Chapters: 1, Words: 10,004, Reviews: 91, Complete

Harry was feeling pretty good after his third year. True, it hasn't been going perfectly, but nothing ever does. Still, his godfather was free-ish and alive, and both their souls were where they belong. And then he got a visit from his mother's mother. There's no ownership by me involved with this.

I think There's Been A Mistake

2010-10-19T00:26:48-08:00

Author: Diresquirrel
Harry Potter and Dresden Files
English, Rated: K
Humor/Parody
Hermione G. & H. Dresden
Chapters: 1, Words: 1,703, Reviews: 27, Complete

Hagrid grabs the wrong Wizard named Harry.