FanFiction.Net - Carbuncle's fanfiction

The Maester of Spira

2004-02-09T14:45:42-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy X
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor/Parody
Chapters: 1, Words: 2,174, Reviews: 4 Published: 2-9-04
Status: In-Progress

Legend has it, that the Maester of Spira can fix anything. So, ala The Wizard of Oz, Tidus, Wakka, Lulu and Kimahri set off along the Mi'ihen Highroad...

The Chibis in: The Courtcase

2003-09-27T12:54:12-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VIII
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 1,600, Reviews: 2 Published: 9-27-03
Status: In-Progress

Ifrit is held responsible after Squall, Zell and Selphie suffer an... accident. So Ifrit is summoned to court.

Behind the Fantasy

2003-08-22T11:20:02-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy I-VI
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor/Parody
Chapters: 1, Words: 4,193, Reviews: 8 Published: 8-22-03
Status: In-Progress

Join Cloud, Tifa, Squall, Selphie, Zidane, Dagger, Tidus, Rikku and a host of other FF characters for Behind the Fantasy!

M'Dear Mideel

2003-07-24T15:45:33-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 1,850, Reviews: 3 Published: 7-24-03
Status: In-Progress

Cloud, Barrett and Tifa set off to Mideel to track down Aeris, after they learn that the town has been attacked by the Shin-Ra.

Catch a Failing Star

2003-07-05T11:51:23-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 1,777, Reviews: 1 Published: 7-5-03
Status: In-Progress

In a brand new fanfic, Cloud is offered a part on a popular daytime soap opera. His success is short lived though, and soon he must deal with the rejection a washed up star receives.

The Crossover Story

2003-02-22T14:49:05-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy X-overs
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 3, Words: 8,338, Reviews: 9 Published: 2-22-03
Status: In-Progress

When the zeroes of Final Fantasy VIII meet the heroes of Final Fantasy VII, all hell breaks loose. An electrical thunder storm hits Balamb Garden, sending it and all on board into the virtual world of Final Fantasy VII.

City of the Ancients

2003-02-07T13:01:00-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 2,284, Reviews: 2 Published: 2-7-03
Status: In-Progress

For her 22nd birthday, Aeris is required to return to the City of the Ancients. Upon arriving, a one hundred-year-old secret is revealed leading to a major discovery, concerning the future of the Planet. Even bigger than this, Aeris discovers that she hol

Mako My Day

2003-02-01T15:02:09-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 2,337, Reviews: 5 Published: 2-1-03
Status: In-Progress

AVALANCHE is called into action when Hojo threatens to flood the City of Midgar with Mako in an effort to poison the townsfolk. Unable to stop him, Barrett, Tifa and the gang are turned into vegetables. Only Cloud having once been exposed to and therefore

Twenty Leagues Under the Sea

2003-01-26T05:49:38-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 2,611, Reviews: 3 Published: 1-26-03
Status: In-Progress

Cloud is fired from AVALANCHE after Barrett feels that there isn't enough work going. To compensate, he gets Cloud a job on board a submarine in the Junon Navy.

I Dated a Mother

2003-01-21T12:54:07-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 3,138, Reviews: 13 Published: 1-21-03
Status: In-Progress

Sephiroth's mother, Jenova, develops a crush on Cloud. Not wanting to anger Sephiroth by hurting Jenova's feelings, Barrett and Tifa suggest that Cloud accepts her request for a date. Expecting the date to be a disaster, Cloud is bewildered when it turns

The Two Flowers

2003-01-09T15:00:31-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 4,179, Reviews: 5 Published: 1-9-03
Status: In-Progress

Aeris goes to war with her business rival.

Been There, Dyne That

2003-01-07T13:00:49-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: General/Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 2,697, Reviews: 4 Published: 1-7-03
Status: In-Progress

A mishap at school forces Barrett to seriously consider coming forward and telling Marlene the truth about her real father. Forced with the choice of coming clean, or continuing with the lie, Barrett is torn. (Featuring a heart-warming ending scene.)

That Kiss

2003-01-05T07:20:14-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 2,607, Reviews: 6 Published: 1-5-03
Status: In-Progress

Barrett wins four tickets for an all expenses paid trip to the Costa del Sol. While Aeris jumps at the chance for some time away in the sun, Cloud and Tifa are less than enthusiastic about going away together, after that embarrassing kiss they shared.

Christmas Comes But Twice a Year

2002-12-23T12:17:58-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 1,826, Reviews: 9 Published: 12-23-02
Status: In-Progress

Cloud suffers a blow to the head, sending him into a deep coma. Upon awakening, he learns that he has completely missed out on Christmas.

The Great Bathtime Caper

2002-12-01T12:55:47-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 2,036, Reviews: 11 Published: 12-1-02
Status: In-Progress

Tifa goes to great lengths in order to get Red XIII to take a bath. Join her and Red for an exciting trip around the world. If only we could find out who's doing that awful singing...

Like the Osbournes

2002-11-09T14:56:22-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor/Parody
Chapters: 1, Words: 2,797, Reviews: 4 Published: 11-9-02
Status: In-Progress

How could I not do a parody of something as brilliant as The Osbournes? Cloud, Barrett, Tifa and Aeris agree to take part in a reality TV show from the comfort of their own home. Fans of The Osbournes should love this.

Not Without My Chocobo

2002-09-24T14:13:51-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: General/Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 2,044, Reviews: 3 Published: 9-24-02
Status: In-Progress

The party try to cheer up Aeris after her beloved chocobo passes away.

Not a Lemon

2002-08-28T12:13:09-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VIII
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 2, Words: 5,050, Reviews: 11 Published: 8-28-02
Status: In-Progress

What is it about a lemon? Some people love 'em, some people hate 'em. Some people can't stand 'em. This here fic will change the way you think about them forever. A fanfic that totally makes fun of them and everything they stand for. It may even give you

Dancing Queen

2002-08-24T12:47:38-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 3,580, Reviews: 3 Published: 8-24-02
Status: In-Progress

After Barrett twists his ankle, he is unable to take Marlene to a local talent show. Aeris then offers to take her instead. Once there, Aeris's talent for dancing gets her a job at the local strip club, and, as usual, much hilarity ensures.

A Tale of Two Clouds

2002-08-17T13:24:16-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 2,329, Reviews: 5 Published: 8-17-02
Status: In-Progress

Cloud is devastated to learn that he isn't the only Cloud Strife in the world. He then goes to great lengths to try and set things right again. A courtcase, a crooked judge, and a measly five years are a few of the obstacles that stand in his way.

The Wild Tonberries

2002-07-20T00:35:02-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy X
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 2,218, Reviews: 6 Published: 7-20-02
Status: In-Progress

Tidus does a job for the Mafia.

Nibelheimenium

2002-04-25T13:59:09-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 3,134, Reviews: 7 Published: 4-25-02
Status: In-Progress

Cloud and Tifa are invited to Nibelheimenium - a celebration of the rebirth of their hometown Nibelheim. But they soon discover that something is not quite right in their quaint little town... (Did someone mention the word "cult?")

And So They Return

2002-04-20T12:35:51-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 2,187, Reviews: 5 Published: 4-20-02
Status: In-Progress

The Mayor of Midgar decides to deport all illegal immigrants from the City. When it is revealed that Cloud is an illegal alien, he and Tifa try to apply for a visa, only to be rejected. It is then that Tifa comes up with a brilliant plan to avoid Cloud ge

There Ain't No Gettin' Offa This Train We're On!

2002-02-20T12:49:30-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Drama
Chapters: 1, Words: 2,137, Reviews: 4 Published: 2-20-02
Status: In-Progress

AVALANCHE find themselves in real danger after their train is hijacked by terrorists. This is the first ever fic that I have written which isn't classified under humor.

Cloud and the Chocoballs Factory

2002-02-10T14:15:42-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor/Parody
Chapters: 1, Words: 2,308, Reviews: 5 Published: 2-10-02
Status: In-Progress

Cloud opens a packet of Chocoballs containing the yellow Chocoball and wins a tour of the Chocoballs Factory (a la "Willy Wonka") to see how the world's most deliciously addictive chocolate is made.

Barrett's Parents Come to Stay

2002-01-03T00:00:00-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 2,019, Reviews: 7 Published: 1-3-02
Status: In-Progress

After Cloud gets a haircut, Barrett's parents turn up at 7th Heaven to visit their son. Cloud and Tifa take an immediate dislike to them after it becomes apparent that Mr. and Mrs. Wallace are as racist as they come. So, another offensive fic then?

Year of the Carbuncle

2001-12-23T00:00:00-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 2,707, Reviews: 4 Published: 12-23-01
Status: In-Progress

I've been here on fanfiction.net for one year! That's almost three years! To celebrate my one year anniversary, I have written this delictable tale for the fans' enjoyment! Thank you, and Good-night!

Deck the Garden with Boughs of Holly

2001-12-18T00:00:00-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VIII
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 3,826, Reviews: 5 Published: 12-18-01
Status: In-Progress

Ho ho whoa! It's Christmas - the season of weird will - over in Balamb Garden! Zell's Christmas list, Rinoa in a hot skirt, and Xu as the Garden's Santa Claus are just a few of the surprises in store.

A Countdown To Barrett

2001-12-15T00:00:00-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 651, Reviews: 6 Published: 12-15-01
Status: In-Progress

There's only one thing Barrett wants for his birthday...

Brokedown Prison

2001-11-24T00:00:00-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 3,227, Reviews: 4 Published: 11-24-01
Status: In-Progress

Aeris and Yuffie head off to Wutai on vacation to celebrate their graduation from college. However, their holiday turns into a nightmare when they are arrested.

A Countdown To Thanksgiving

2001-11-22T00:00:00-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 794, Reviews: 1 Published: 11-22-01
Status: In-Progress

Cloud is given the unfortunate job of finding a chocobo for Thanksgiving dinner.

A Countdown To Yuffie

2001-11-20T00:00:00-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 726, Reviews: 7 Published: 11-20-01
Status: In-Progress

Yuffie has finally matured... yeah, right.

Sephiroth: From Birth to Death

2001-11-11T00:00:00-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 2,102, Reviews: 9 Published: 11-11-01
Status: In-Progress

Let's take a break from the usual stuff and let someone else other than Cloud Strife be the star. Sephiroth's life story told by none other than the great man himself. If you're a Sephiroth fan (and let's face it, who isn't?) you'll enjoy this.

Don Corneo has an Ugly Face

2001-11-04T00:00:00-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 3,554, Reviews: 3 Published: 11-4-01
Status: In-Progress

A couple from Mideel move into Don Corneo's mansion, and throw a party for their new neighbours (who include Cloud and friends). All is well, until Don Corneo, who was thought to be dead, returns to continue his reign of terror in Wall Market.

Kill All the Gil Thieves

2001-11-03T00:00:00-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 2,245, Reviews: 9 Published: 11-3-01
Status: In-Progress

Best Fic Ever... from me, anyway. This fic is so good, it doesn't even need a summary. You'll read this and you'll laugh. If you don't laugh I will give you your money back. Go on... read it.

A Countdown To Vincent

2001-10-18T00:00:00-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 818, Reviews: 11 Published: 10-18-01
Status: In-Progress

You are invited to Vincent Valentine's birthday party. (Sorry the invitation's a little late.)

Cait Sith in: "Walkin' the Mog"

2001-10-07T00:00:00-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 2,000, Reviews: 8 Published: 10-7-01
Status: In-Progress

Finally, a fic from me where Cait Sith is the star. This means that if you don't like the (probably) least popular FFVII character, then you're unlikely to think much of this fic. Anyway, Cait Sith is ordered to hand his most treasured possession (not his

Cloud Strife in: "Between Anime and Hard Labour"

2001-09-29T00:00:00-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 2,451, Reviews: 8 Published: 9-29-01
Status: In-Progress

Tifa takes a vacation, and leaves Cloud to look after 7th Heaven. Cloud, however, refuses to part with his precious anime. Oh, the humanity! Anime lovers will like this fic, and maybe some anime haters will like it too. Eh, who knows? (Contains extra humo

Send in the Doctors!

2001-09-28T00:00:00-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 4, Words: 3,392, Reviews: 5 Published: 9-28-01
Status: In-Progress

Four classic medical themed Countdown to stories, in which Aeris turns retarded, Barrett discovers the wonders of the human body, Professor Hojo helps deliver a baby, and Cloud gets a vasectomy - not all at once, you understand.

Proper Leonhart Use

2001-09-23T00:00:00-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VIII
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 1,339, Reviews: 4 Published: 9-23-01
Status: In-Progress

Set after "Holy Crap! I'm in an Abusive Relationship!" The party miss the Balamb Town Funtime Festival because of Squall's unfortunate disability. Rinoa then goes on a mission to recover her boyfriend's brain.

Tifa Lockheart in: "Hit 'n' Run Like Hell"

2001-09-19T00:00:00-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 1,801, Reviews: 13 Published: 9-19-01
Status: In-Progress

While out on the road in her new car, Tifa runs over one of the citizens of Midgar. You'll have to read to find out who she knocked down, by lets just say the person won't be missed.

Midgar's Funniest Home Videos

2001-09-18T00:00:00-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 1,897, Reviews: 11 Published: 9-18-01
Status: In-Progress

Cloud decides to make a hilarious home video for a TV show. Aeris offers to help him, and they set out to make the funniest home movie ever.

A Countdown To Chocoballs

2001-09-17T00:00:00-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 690, Reviews: 6 Published: 9-17-01
Status: In-Progress

Chocoballs - the latest chocolate sensation!!

Cloud's Angels

2001-09-14T00:00:00-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor/Parody
Chapters: 1, Words: 1,952, Reviews: 2 Published: 9-14-01
Status: In-Progress

Aeris, Tifa and Yuffie are Cloud's Angels! Yeah, yeah, well I'm desperate for ideas! The Turks make an appearance in here, too!

Red XIII in: "Grandpa's Last Stand"

2001-09-08T00:00:00-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: General
Chapters: 1, Words: 1,617, Reviews: 4 Published: 9-8-01
Status: In-Progress

Bugenhagen dies (and he won't be comin' back). Red XIII and the others attend his funeral at Cosmo Canyon. Once the funeral is over Red XIII goes into deep depression. This fic is worth reading because it includes clips from the actual video game FFVII, a

Holy Crap! I'm in an Abusive Relationship!

2001-08-31T00:00:00-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VIII
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 2,487, Reviews: 15 Published: 8-31-01
Status: In-Progress

Most people here know I like to tackle controversial subjects and portray them in a humorous way, and here's yet another one that'll probably make you go nuts and hate me like you've never hated anyone before. Geez guys, it's only supposed to be fun - it'

Inside Zell's Head

2001-08-26T00:00:00-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VIII
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 2,889, Reviews: 6 Published: 8-26-01
Status: In-Progress

Ew... sick! *barfs* Ahem, the party are summoned to Esthar in order to stop a war from breaking out, but Zell gets into a bit of trouble and ends up hooked up to one of Dr. Odine's weird machines. Squall and the others must now not only save their best fr

Zell's Wacky Intentions

2001-08-22T00:00:00-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VIII
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 2, Words: 2,990, Reviews: 6 Published: 8-22-01
Status: In-Progress

Rinoa's dad dies and leaves her a butt load of money in his will, so the party decide to celebrate by going to Deling City. Problems soon arise when they get there though, mainly the exact amount of money Rinoa is meant to inherit. (Includes the hilarious

A Countdown To Cloud

2001-08-21T00:00:00-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 700, Reviews: 9 Published: 8-21-01
Status: In-Progress

Lets all celebrate the birth of Cloud. God bless the spikey headed jerk.

Red XIII Hits Puberty

2001-08-10T00:00:00-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 2,561, Reviews: 14 Published: 8-10-01
Status: In-Progress

Red XIII is set to grow up and starts puberty. Anyone who has ever gone through puberty should be able to identify with this. BTW, this is crude... very very crude. It includes a song parody too, sung by Bugenhagen and Red XIII.

Sephirothland

2001-07-26T00:00:00-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 2,008, Reviews: 21 Published: 7-26-01
Status: In-Progress

The party go to Sephirothland: the craziest place on earth! Do YOU want to go to Sephirothland too?! Yes? Then come on in - everyone's invited! Enter now to receive a free ice-cream!

Camp Out Crisis

2001-07-21T00:00:00-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VIII
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 1,652, Reviews: 10 Published: 7-21-01
Status: Complete

Squall, Rinoa, Zell, Irvine and Selphie all go off camping in the woods. However, the trip soon turns into a complete disaster (as you correctly guessed at home). The Forest Owls are called in to help when both Zell and Irvine go missing. Oh, the humanity

Captain S: The Gayme Master

2001-07-18T00:00:00-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor/Parody
Chapters: 1, Words: 3,153, Reviews: 4 Published: 7-18-01
Status: In-Progress

It's a parody of "Captain N: The Game Master". What? You don't remember Captain N? Oh... Um, well read the authors note and all will become clear. I think this is one of my best fics to date, and I apologise for the crappy fics I've posted up recently. I

Aeris the Tifa

2001-07-14T00:00:00-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 2,218, Reviews: 25 Published: 7-14-01
Status: In-Progress

Fans of Aeris and/or Tifa will LOVE this fic (or hate it). Aeris becomes depressed about her body.

Mother Gainsborough

2001-07-12T00:00:00-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 2,337, Reviews: 8 Published: 7-12-01
Status: In-Progress

Aeris fakes her own death to avoid work. When her 'death' makes the main headline of the local newspaper, she heads down to the Hall of Records to put things right again. Upon returning home, she finds that her natural mother has paid her a visit. It isn'

The Battle Against That Disease

2001-07-09T00:00:00-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VIII
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 1,861, Reviews: 15 Published: 7-9-01
Status: In-Progress

Headmaster Cid receives some bad news from Galbadia Garden, and has to take action in order to protect Balamb Garden from the worst disease known to human kind.

If You Say Duck with an F Instead of a D

2001-07-06T00:00:00-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 2,597, Reviews: 27 Published: 7-6-01
Status: In-Progress

--I'm warning you now--Do not read if you are easily offended--This fic contains that swear word--I'm telling you this so that you won't read it and then decide to flame me--Its all just a really really funny joke--Many of the characters behave OOC--Bla b

Marlene and the MACLA Institution

2001-06-29T00:00:00-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 2,687, Reviews: 14 Published: 6-29-01
Status: In-Progress

The party hook up their computer to the internet.

In Tifa We Trust

2001-06-24T00:00:00-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 2,833, Reviews: 12 Published: 6-24-01
Status: In-Progress

Tifa volunteers to help out down at Midgar Church, while Cloud, Barrett and Cid are all left to look after 7th Heaven. (I really had a hard time coming up with an interesting summary, but don't assume the story will suck, 'cause it's pretty funny.)

A Countdown To Zero

2001-06-21T00:00:00-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 1,070, Reviews: 12 Published: 6-21-01
Status: In-Progress

Everything must come to an end... This is the final countdown...

Cloud Goes to College

2001-06-19T00:00:00-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 1,766, Reviews: 6 Published: 6-19-01
Status: In-Progress

Cloud decides to enrol at Midgar County College, much to the annoyance of Tifa. She warns him it might not be a good idea, but he obviously goes ahead and enrolls anyway. His new life is anything but sweet. God, help him...

A Countdown To Someone

2001-06-17T00:00:00-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 775, Reviews: 12 Published: 6-17-01
Status: In-Progress

Cloud 4 ????

A Countdown To Insult

2001-06-16T00:00:00-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 721, Reviews: 15 Published: 6-16-01
Status: In-Progress

Cloud and Barrett insult each other...

God, the Devil and Zell

2001-06-07T00:00:00-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VIII
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 1,772, Reviews: 16 Published: 6-7-01
Status: In-Progress

If you've ever seen the hilarious adult cartoon series "God, the Devil and Bob" then you'll know what to expect here. The plot: Zell has been chosen to save the world. How will he achieve this? Well, that would be telling - you'll just have to read to fin

A Countdown To Religion

2001-06-02T00:00:00-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 917, Reviews: 15 Published: 6-2-01
Status: In-Progress

Aeris becomes a member of the Jenova's Witnesses. (Likely to offend religious types.)

Cid vs. NORG

2001-06-01T00:00:00-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VIII
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 2,295, Reviews: 3 Published: 6-1-01
Status: In-Progress

Cid and NORG have yet another argument, so they decide to fight each other. Squall worries that Cid might not have what it takes to be a winner, so he helps him train. Zell lets everyone take a bet, and all hell breaks loose in the training centre. This i

A Countdown To 50

2001-05-29T00:00:00-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 850, Reviews: 21 Published: 5-29-01
Status: In-Progress

Cloud and Tifa try to revive Aeris. My 50th fic.

A Countdown To Music

2001-05-28T00:00:00-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 2, Words: 1,703, Reviews: 7 Updated: 5-28-01 Published: 4-28-01
Status: In-Progress

The party attend an audition at the Gold Saucer to become members of a new pop group.

A Countdown To Hell

2001-05-23T00:00:00-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 869, Reviews: 11 Published: 5-23-01
Status: In-Progress

You know what this fic is gonna be about, right?

Zorn & Thorn Do Alexandria

2001-05-20T00:00:00-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy IX
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 709, Reviews: 15 Published: 5-20-01
Status: In-Progress

Zorn & Thorn try their hands at stand-up comedy down at the local tavern.

Selphie's Latest Obsession

2001-05-16T00:00:00-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VIII
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 2,082, Reviews: 41 Published: 5-16-01
Status: In-Progress

Selphie becomes obsessed with cleanliness. You'll know what the deal is when you read this fic.

For the Cutest Girl in the Garden

2001-05-12T00:00:00-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VIII
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 1,718, Reviews: 17 Published: 5-12-01
Status: In-Progress

Irvine is forced to turn to Squall for advice on a personal problem.

A Countdown To Misunderstand

2001-05-09T00:00:00-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 932, Reviews: 13 Published: 5-9-01
Status: In-Progress

Barrett is acting very strangely, and Marlene seems very distressed. (This may offend.)

Quina Gets Abandoned and Stuff

2001-05-06T00:00:00-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy IX
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 567, Reviews: 6 Published: 5-6-01
Status: In-Progress

Quina finds that life alone is difficult, especially when you're stranded in the Outer Continent.

A Countdown To Tifa

2001-05-03T00:00:00-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 772, Reviews: 14 Published: 5-3-01
Status: In-Progress

I love Tifa, I love Tifa... Tifa has a birthday party, and a special guest turns up (Vivi Orunitia).

A Countdown To Whodunnit: Alternative Solutions

2001-04-23T00:00:00-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 7, Words: 4,253, Reviews: 3 Updated: 4-23-01 Published: 4-19-01
Status: In-Progress

In this fanfic you will find no less than seven alternate solutions to 'Who Shot Ms. Gainsborough?'

A Countdown To Easter

2001-04-15T00:00:00-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor/Parody
Chapters: 1, Words: 974, Reviews: 9 Published: 4-15-01
Status: In-Progress

Aeris is crucified. (This may offend some religious type people.)

A Countdown To Victory

2001-04-08T00:00:00-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 7, Words: 5,945, Reviews: 14 Updated: 4-8-01 Published: 3-17-01
Status: In-Progress

The party travel to various places, doing various things, while they try to track down a gil thief with a bad attitude.

A Countdown To FanFiction

2001-04-03T00:00:00-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 738, Reviews: 13 Published: 4-3-01
Status: In-Progress

I poke fun at my own fanfiction, and reveal why every story starts with 'A Countdown To...'

A Countdown To Fool

2001-04-01T00:00:00-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 580, Reviews: 7 Published: 4-1-01
Status: In-Progress

This story features more drama and romance than any other... April Fool!

A Countdown To Sleep

2001-03-28T00:00:00-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 887, Reviews: 25 Published: 3-28-01
Status: In-Progress

"Oh my God! They killed... Tifa?!"

A Countdown To Vasectomy

2001-03-18T00:00:00-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 788, Reviews: 10 Published: 3-18-01
Status: In-Progress

Another future tale, which will probably make the male generation squeal in horror.

A Countdown To Depression

2001-03-15T00:00:00-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 817, Reviews: 7 Published: 3-15-01
Status: In-Progress

Cloud, Tifa and Aeris ship Cid off to rehab.

A Countdown To oT nwodtnuoC A

2001-03-11T00:00:00-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 851, Reviews: 8 Published: 3-11-01
Status: Complete

This is warped... this is bizarre... this is a countdown to complete and utter nonsense.

A Mouthful of Cid

2001-03-07T00:00:00-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy IX
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 742, Reviews: 9 Published: 3-7-01
Status: In-Progress

Zidane is forced to lend a hand when Quina suffers stomach pains.

A Countdown To Remember

2001-02-28T00:00:00-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 738, Reviews: 6 Published: 2-28-01
Status: In-Progress

After they are snowed inside Gaea's Cliff, Cloud and his friends begin to reflect on their lives.

A Countdown To Play

2001-02-25T00:00:00-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 707, Reviews: 8 Published: 2-25-01
Status: In-Progress

The party perform a play over at the Gold Saucer.

A Countdown To Pain

2001-02-23T00:00:00-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 889, Reviews: 22 Published: 2-23-01
Status: In-Progress

Aeris discovers that she is pregnant...

A Countdown To Cid

2001-02-21T00:00:00-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 422, Reviews: 11 Published: 2-21-01
Status: In-Progress

The party prepare to celebrate Cid's birthday, while a ghost from the past will just not rest...

A Countdown To Space

2001-02-18T00:00:00-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 825, Reviews: 5 Published: 2-18-01
Status: In-Progress

Yuffie takes advantage when Cid has an accident.

A Countdown To Blackout

2001-02-16T00:00:00-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 331, Reviews: 8 Published: 2-16-01
Status: In-Progress

The city of Midgar suffers a blackout, due to some faulty reactors.

Steiner the Love Machine

2001-02-16T00:00:00-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy IX
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 983, Reviews: 36 Published: 2-16-01
Status: In-Progress

Queen Brahne is looking forward to the performance of "I Want to Be Your Canary", while Steiner has a problem.

A Countdown To Valentine

2001-02-14T00:00:00-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 690, Reviews: 8 Published: 2-14-01
Status: In-Progress

Yuffie has a Valentine's Day that she would rather forget, and Cloud has a surprise for Tifa.

A Countdown To Despair

2001-02-11T00:00:00-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 641, Reviews: 10 Published: 2-11-01
Status: In-Progress

Cloud, Tifa and Barrett head off to Mideel to visit Aeris, who is suffering from Mako poisoning.

A Countdown To Probe

2001-02-10T00:00:00-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 768, Reviews: 6 Published: 2-10-01
Status: In-Progress

A few minor characters are abducted by aliens.

A Countdown To Embarrassment

2001-02-09T00:00:00-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 509, Reviews: 13 Published: 2-9-01
Status: In-Progress

Bugenhagen is caught with his pants down.

A Countdown To Aeris

2001-02-07T00:00:00-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 668, Reviews: 18 Published: 2-7-01
Status: In-Progress

The party gather together to celebrate Aeris's birthday.

A Countdown To Mutilation

2001-02-05T00:00:00-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 398, Reviews: 4 Published: 2-5-01
Status: In-Progress

The party find that their lives are in danger when Vincent goes berserk.

A Countdown To Babysitting

2001-02-04T00:00:00-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 616, Reviews: 17 Published: 2-4-01
Status: In-Progress

Aeris has to babysit little Marlene... this has disaster written all over it.

A Countdown To Nine

2001-02-02T00:00:00-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 386, Reviews: 6 Published: 2-2-01
Status: In-Progress

A little story dedicated to patient people... or not, as the case may be.

A Countdown To Whodunnit

2001-01-29T00:00:00-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 2, Words: 2,500, Reviews: 22 Updated: 1-29-01 Published: 1-22-01
Status: In-Progress

After Aeris strikes it lucky, she makes a large number of her friends very, very angry...

A Countdown To Humor

2001-01-21T00:00:00-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 737, Reviews: 16 Published: 1-21-01
Status: In-Progress

Come one, come all, and witness the planets latest new age star... Amazing Aeris!

A Countdown To Death

2001-01-18T00:00:00-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 789, Reviews: 10 Published: 1-18-01
Status: In-Progress

Cait Sith is seriously stressed out after seeing what the future has to hold for one of his friends.

A Countdown To Frustration

2001-01-17T00:00:00-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 614, Reviews: 11 Published: 1-17-01
Status: In-Progress

The Turks... well, they have a problem...

A Countdown To Poker

2001-01-13T00:00:00-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 433, Reviews: 6 Published: 1-13-01
Status: In-Progress

When three friends settle down for a game of cards, you just know something bad is going to happen.

A Countdown To Trouble

2001-01-11T00:00:00-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 786, Reviews: 14 Published: 1-11-01
Status: In-Progress

While shopping in Wall Market, Tifa and Aeris meet an old friend.

A Countdown To Indigestion

2001-01-10T00:00:00-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 962, Reviews: 11 Published: 1-10-01
Status: In-Progress

The party go on their very own fantastic voyage.

A Countdown To Justice

2001-01-05T00:00:00-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 668, Reviews: 7 Published: 1-5-01
Status: In-Progress

A look at what happened to Barrett and Tifa after Cloud fell from the No.5 Reactor bridge.

A Countdown To Confusion

2001-01-04T00:00:00-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 618, Reviews: 6 Published: 1-4-01
Status: In-Progress

If Dio is so rich, then how come he can't afford a decent pair of clothes?

A Countdown To New Year

2000-12-31T00:00:00-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 349, Reviews: 16 Published: 12-31-00
Status: In-Progress

The party say goodbye to one year, and hello to another.

A Countdown To Christmas

2000-12-24T00:00:00-08:00

Author: Carbuncle
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 510, Reviews: 13 Published: 12-24-00
Status: In-Progress

Christmas is a time for giving, and a time for receiving... it's not, however, a time for dying.