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The Mostly Hair Related Antics of Lucius Malfoy

2006-12-31T09:36:25-08:00

Author: Duchess of Inkling
Category: Harry Potter
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor/Parody
Pairing: Lucius M. & Severus S.
Chapters: 10, Words: 3,042, Reviews: 61 Updated: 12-31-06 Published: 3-19-06
Status: In-Progress

By now you should recognise this story as the millionth series in that infamous saga, The Pureblood Antics of Lucius Malfoy. This time, as I noticed a trend, I've renamed it to include the hairobsession. HBP spoilers.

Bad Detective

2006-09-03T09:32:21-08:00

Author: Duchess of Inkling
Category: Harry Potter
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor/Parody
Pairing: Severus S. & Draco M.
Chapters: 3, Words: 2,302, Reviews: 10 Updated: 9-3-06 Published: 8-20-06
Status: In-Progress

Severus Snape is a bad detective and he always gets his man. Draco has contracted an unfortunate alliance, and Snape goes to extreme measures attempting to prevent it. In some ways a crossover with PG Wodehouse's works. Written for the trousersnaco challe

The Far Too Numerous Antics of Lucius Malfoy

2006-02-14T14:44:03-08:00

Author: Duchess of Inkling
Category: Harry Potter
Language: English, Rated: K
Genres: Humor/Parody
Pairing: Lucius M. & Severus S.
Chapters: 20, Words: 6,095, Reviews: 116 Updated: 2-14-06 Published: 5-1-05
Status: In-Progress

Welcome to the triumphant, or not so triumphant, comeback of this knickerspoilingly exciting story, which, as ever, seeks to document the activities of everybody's favourite evil, snobistic, and especially blond, wizard. Warning: HBP Spoilers occur.

Time Falls Wanking To The Floor

2005-08-28T12:31:08-08:00

Author: Duchess of Inkling
Category: Peter Pan
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Romance/Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 665, Reviews: 4 Published: 8-28-05
Status: In-Progress

Drabble about the erotic value watches and clocks hold for our favourite pirate Captain. The title is, in fact, a perfect summary. Strange, but delicious, I promise.

The Adventures Of Don L, Grandson of Zorro

2005-08-21T11:15:55-08:00

Author: Duchess of Inkling
Category: Harry Potter
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor/Parody
Pairing: Lucius M. & Severus S.
Chapters: 9, Words: 7,099, Reviews: 44 Updated: 8-21-05 Published: 3-18-05
Status: In-Progress

The dashing Don L is come to Hogwarts to display his heroism and to free the rich and privileged from the oppressive grip of the poor and less well-bred. Who shall be his targets? Who is the object of his affections? And what is his real identity?

Original Sin

2005-02-13T11:17:24-08:00

Author: Duchess of Inkling
Category: Peter Pan
Language: English, Rated: K
Genres: Drama/Romance
Chapters: 1, Words: 1,315, Reviews: 7 Published: 2-13-05
Status: In-Progress

An apocalyptic vision of seduction and dangerous temptation, a short literary essay in prose... This is all three. A tale of sensual terror and historical reference in one part.

Lusty Limericks of Neverland

2005-02-13T10:53:16-08:00

Author: Duchess of Inkling
Category: Peter Pan
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Poetry/Humor
Chapters: 4, Words: 300, Reviews: 12 Updated: 2-13-05 Published: 2-6-05
Status: In-Progress

Ah, the limerick- the most exalted of poetic genres. And what subject could be more appropriate to it than the artful Captain Hook, his jolly band of rogering rovers, and the other inhabitants of Neverland?

The Seemingly Neverending Antics of Lucius Malfoy

2005-01-23T09:52:37-08:00

Author: Duchess of Inkling
Category: Harry Potter
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor/Parody
Pairing: Lucius M. & Severus S.
Chapters: 20, Words: 6,103, Reviews: 76 Updated: 1-23-05 Published: 10-16-04
Status: In-Progress

The fifth series of The Story That Will Not Die, and it brings you everything you want so, so much; idiocy, gratuitous slash suggestions, filth, decadence, blond hair, and, of course, absolute pleasure.

I Pass Like Night, From Land To Land

2004-11-25T09:32:49-08:00

Author: Duchess of Inkling
Category: Peter Pan
Language: English, Rated: K
Genres: Drama
Chapters: 1, Words: 1,943, Reviews: 4 Published: 11-25-04
Status: In-Progress

A short psychological story about Hook. Despite appearances, not angsty, but more meant to convey a process of growing obsession and restlessness, and to weave intricate and glittering webs of imagery.

Not Much of a Man by the Light of Day

2004-10-17T11:13:56-08:00

Author: Duchess of Inkling
Category: Harry Potter
Language: English, Rated: K
Genres: Humor/Parody
Pairing: Severus S.
Chapters: 7, Words: 7,755, Reviews: 46 Updated: 10-17-04 Published: 9-1-04
Status: In-Progress

Snape has a dark, succulent secret. And you’ll never, ever guess what it is. Go on, have a peep inside. You know you’re just aching to find out. Have I roused your curiosity yet, or do you need further man-handling to be enticed to enter, dear reader?

The Depraved Still Ongoing Antics of Lucius Malfoy

2004-09-19T11:26:38-08:00

Author: Duchess of Inkling
Category: Harry Potter
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor/Parody
Pairing: Lucius M. & Severus S.
Chapters: 20, Words: 5,703, Reviews: 82 Updated: 9-19-04 Published: 7-5-04
Status: In-Progress

The racy madness continues, as the splendidly gorgeous Lucius Malfoy and his sardonic sidekick, Severus Snape, embark on yet another hilariously warped sequal, now the fourth, of this rather persistent story.

I eat ur brane kthnx

2004-08-14T14:15:47-08:00

Author: Duchess of Inkling
Category: Harry Potter
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor/Adventure
Pairing: Severus S. & Lucius M.
Chapters: 5, Words: 8,426, Reviews: 20 Updated: 8-14-04 Published: 7-25-04
Status: In-Progress

Our golden boys, Severus Snape and Lucius Malfoy, work together to execute the greatest plan ever made to take over the world while in the service of Lord Voldemort. As always, rather politically incorrect, but rather entertaining, in my superior opinion.

The Esteemed & Continuing Antics of Lucius Malfoy

2004-06-30T11:50:31-08:00

Author: Duchess of Inkling
Category: Harry Potter
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor/Parody
Pairing: Lucius M. & Severus S.
Chapters: 20, Words: 5,241, Reviews: 102 Updated: 6-30-04 Published: 3-10-04
Status: In-Progress

Welcome, gentle reader. By now you should have realised that the stories contained within this volume are part of a humungous series of heroic epics about none other than the ever charming L. Malfoy and his lovely sidekick, S. Snape.

Go Lucius Go

2004-06-27T04:56:33-08:00

Author: Duchess of Inkling
Category: Harry Potter
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor/Parody
Pairing: Lucius M. & Severus S.
Chapters: 1, Words: 529, Reviews: 25 Published: 6-27-04
Status: In-Progress

An adaptation of the story "Go, dog, go" into more Lucius Malfoy-esque terms. Basically what happens if you consistently replace words with others; the story turns suitably twisted and perverse. And hopefully funny.

Peter Pants and Captain Fag

2004-06-25T09:31:05-08:00

Author: Duchess of Inkling
Category: Peter Pan
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Parody/Humor
Chapters: 6, Words: 5,789, Reviews: 57 Updated: 6-25-04 Published: 5-17-04
Status: In-Progress

Wet and Weedy Productions present a parody of and tribute to the innuendo fest that is Peter Pan. Mainly a parody of the sumptuous 2003 film, but, in passing, the equally promiscuous books are also mocked and loved.

The Lucius Malfoy Fans' Guide To Smut

2004-04-02T05:30:52-08:00

Author: Duchess of Inkling
Category: Harry Potter
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Parody/Parody
Pairing: Lucius M.
Chapters: 2, Words: 1,602, Reviews: 32 Updated: 4-2-04 Published: 3-20-04
Status: In-Progress

Join me as I stab wildly at the authors of smutty Lucius fics who daringly assume that sexual assault is pleasurable, who use rape as a plot device, and abusive!Lucius as an excuse for characterisation.

AntiStumpy's Anti Stumpy Society's The Patriot

2004-03-26T08:47:29-08:00

Author: Duchess of Inkling
Category: Patriot
Language: English, Rated: K
Genres: Humor/Parody
Chapters: 1, Words: 3,026, Reviews: 20 Published: 3-26-04
Status: In-Progress

This is a revised and improved edition of The Patriot, as approved by Anti-Stumpy's Anti Stumpy Society, who produced this in their own studios at Wet and Weedy Productions. And no, don't take it too seriously.

The Everyday Antics of Lucius Malfoy, Part Two

2004-03-07T13:07:08-08:00

Author: Duchess of Inkling
Category: Harry Potter
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor/Parody
Pairing: Lucius M. & Severus S.
Chapters: 20, Words: 3,840, Reviews: 71 Updated: 3-7-04 Published: 1-31-04
Status: In-Progress

Yes, this IS part two of The Pureblooded Everyday Antics Of Lucius Malfoy. Sink your greedy little teeth in, I say, and give in, give up to your suppressed lust for idiocy.

The Pureblooded Everyday Antics of Lucius Malfoy

2004-01-28T14:14:42-08:00

Author: Duchess of Inkling
Category: Harry Potter
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor/Parody
Pairing: Lucius M. & Severus S.
Chapters: 19, Words: 4,532, Reviews: 107 Updated: 1-28-04 Published: 1-8-04
Status: In-Progress

Lucius Malfoy leads an intriguing, decadent life. Of course it takes an author like me to report of it in a series of stories that are sufficiently stupid to be entertaining to all you muggles out there.