FanFiction.Net - Sargent Snarky's fanfiction

A Moment Too Late

2009-10-01T16:26:56-08:00

Author: Sargent Snarky
Category: Supernatural
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: General/Drama
Pairing: Sam W. & Dean W.
Chapters: 4, Words: 10,169, Reviews: 10 Updated: 10-1-09 Published: 8-7-09
Status: In-Progress

AU from 1.22 on: "The world stood still and silent for one long second. Then John screamed, his jaw stretching wide to emit the thick black smoke that was a demon. Sam jumped, squeezing the trigger."

A Little Blood Goes A Long Way

2009-05-03T19:22:22-08:00

Author: Sargent Snarky
Category: Supernatural
Language: English, Rated: K
Genres: Humor/General
Pairing: Sam W. & Dean W.
Chapters: 1, Words: 840, Reviews: 6 Published: 5-3-09
Status: In-Progress

Or: 'The Unfortunate Mosquito.' A tale of one bloodsucker's unfortunate predicament upon imbibing Sam's blood.

Three Fathers

2009-03-16T03:26:15-08:00

Author: Sargent Snarky
Category: Final Fantasy I-VI
Language: English, Rated: K
Genres: Family
Pairing: Cecil
Chapters: 1, Words: 1,164, Reviews: 4 Published: 3-16-09
Status: Complete

FFIV. Cecil was most fortunate, in a way, for he had three fathers.

A Game of Chess

2008-12-15T01:25:48-08:00

Author: Sargent Snarky
Category: Trinity Blood
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: General/Family
Pairing: Abel N. & Cain N.
Chapters: 1, Words: 1,159, Reviews: 5 Published: 12-15-08
Status: Complete

Abel sits in a quiet café and plays a game of chess with a fellow lurker.

Anamnesis

2007-11-27T22:55:06-08:00

Author: Sargent Snarky
Category: Final Fantasy I-VI
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: General/Drama
Chapters: 2, Words: 3,706, Reviews: 4 Updated: 11-27-07 Published: 1-24-07
Status: In-Progress

Cecil sometimes dreams of a family, an early childhood and a later, orphaned one he only dimly remembers. Every now and again, though, something triggers a memory so strong Cecil wonders how he ever forgot.

Mosaic

2007-11-22T21:55:27-08:00

Author: Sargent Snarky
Category: Trinity Blood
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: General
Chapters: 8, Words: 1,286, Reviews: 10 Updated: 11-22-07 Published: 11-19-07
Status: In-Progress

A series of drabbles examining the creation and early life of the four Crusniks.

Antilogy of the Crupuscule

2007-08-18T15:17:48-08:00

Author: Sargent Snarky
Category: hack/SIGN
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Adventure/Fantasy
Chapters: 9, Words: 30,261, Reviews: 32 Updated: 8-18-07 Published: 6-1-05
Status: In-Progress

Doom rises in a great wave, threatening to drown all the world in its murky depths. One queen plots total domination. All she needs to succeed is the princess of the Twilight. All that stands in her way are a young warrior and a young wavemaster.[AU]

Twilit Souls

2007-08-18T15:12:57-08:00

Author: Sargent Snarky
Category: hack/SIGN
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Adventure/Drama
Chapters: 1, Words: 2,184, Reviews: 5 Published: 8-18-07
Status: In-Progress

The 8 Avatars and the Twilight Dragon are the keys to controlling the world. Together, they have unlimited power. Morganna seeks this power for her own Tsukasa and Kite and the allies they gather seem to be all that stands in her way. [AU]

An Unlikely Tree

2007-08-08T10:17:38-08:00

Author: Sargent Snarky
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Drama/Family
Pairing: Tseng
Chapters: 2, Words: 2,712, Reviews: 7 Updated: 8-8-07 Published: 8-7-07
Status: In-Progress

Tseng’s mother has died, and when he returns home for her funeral, he discovers a box of her old letters and diaries. He is at once astounded and made somewhat queasy as, at last, he discovers whom his father is.

A Monstrous Gift

2007-07-27T02:07:44-08:00

Author: Sargent Snarky
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Horror
Pairing: Lucrecia C. & Prof. Hojo
Chapters: 1, Words: 1,959, Reviews: 6 Published: 7-27-07
Status: Complete

Hojo has a gift for Lucrecia. A shocking gift. A monstrous gift.

Love, Hate and Monsters

2007-07-25T02:08:29-08:00

Author: Sargent Snarky
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Angst/General
Pairing: Lucrecia C. & Vincent V.
Chapters: 1, Words: 798, Reviews: 9 Published: 7-25-07
Status: Complete

She smiles, and she is beautiful, and he hates her. [A Twisted take on Lucrecia and Vincent]

The Man Who Brought Her Tea

2007-07-18T23:22:19-08:00

Author: Sargent Snarky
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Romance
Pairing: Lucrecia C. & Prof. Hojo
Chapters: 1, Words: 823, Reviews: 5 Published: 7-18-07
Status: Complete

Lucrecia works late one night, and one man displays a small act of kindness.

A Deadly Conversation

2007-06-14T21:52:31-08:00

Author: Sargent Snarky
Category: Dark is Rising Sequence
Language: English, Rated: K
Genres: General
Chapters: 1, Words: 538, Reviews: 3 Published: 6-14-07
Status: Complete

Will and Merriman have a brief conversation concerning Old Ones and their potential for death. Short oneshot

The Identity of an Angel

2007-04-30T14:14:38-08:00

Author: Sargent Snarky
Category: Final Fantasy I-VI
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: General
Chapters: 1, Words: 2,430, Reviews: 4 Published: 4-30-07
Status: Complete

Pregame. A young Cecil visits his mother’s grave, struggling all the while to recall who she was. [FFIV Writing CircleChallenge I]

An Embrace

2007-03-17T20:33:48-08:00

Author: Sargent Snarky
Category: Silmarillion
Language: English, Rated: K
Genres: Romance/Tragedy
Chapters: 1, Words: 210, Reviews: 3 Published: 3-17-07
Status: Complete

An elf dreams of her deceased husband, whom she misses. Drabble.

Burning, Burning, Burning

2007-03-05T19:36:26-08:00

Author: Sargent Snarky
Category: Silmarillion
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Angst/Tragedy
Chapters: 1, Words: 989, Reviews: 2 Published: 3-5-07
Status: Complete

A snapshot time: The burning of the ships at Losgar and the Feanorian family response.

Sound and Color

2007-02-11T21:17:02-08:00

Author: Sargent Snarky
Category: Silmarillion
Language: English, Rated: K
Genres: General
Chapters: 1, Words: 957, Reviews: 5 Published: 2-11-07
Status: Complete

“The irony was not lost on him… Here he was, an elf born into the blessed land of Light, and he couldn’t see it.” A ‘what if’ story about Maglor.

Unanswerable Questions

2007-02-01T14:04:25-08:00

Author: Sargent Snarky
Category: Dark is Rising Sequence
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Angst/General
Chapters: 1, Words: 842, Reviews: 2 Published: 2-1-07
Status: Complete

Merriman happens upon a rather disturbing train of thought: Just where did he come from, anyway? oneshot

White And Nerdy

2006-12-11T13:23:25-08:00

Author: Sargent Snarky
Category: RENT
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor
Pairing: Roger D. & Mark C.
Chapters: 1, Words: 1,417, Reviews: 17 Published: 12-11-06
Status: Complete

Roger strives to convince Mimi of just how nerdy Mark truly is. written for Challenge Central, Challenge 31

The Note

2006-10-27T23:57:32-08:00

Author: Sargent Snarky
Category: RENT
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor
Pairing: Mark C. & Roger D.
Chapters: 1, Words: 818, Reviews: 5 Published: 10-27-06
Status: Complete

Mark wanders into the loft to find a note, which he then contemplates. [challenge central, challenge 7]

The Rising of the Wave

2006-10-27T22:36:55-08:00

Author: Sargent Snarky
Category: hack/SIGN
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: General
Chapters: 7, Words: 38,836, Reviews: 55 Updated: 10-27-06 Published: 2-21-06
Status: In-Progress

When he logged in for the first time, he looked forward to spending time with his friend and maybe having a few adventures. He neither expected nor desired the ensuing disasters. [Novelization of the Orig. Games]

Irrational Fear

2006-10-02T13:48:06-08:00

Author: Sargent Snarky
Category: RENT
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor
Pairing: Mark C.
Chapters: 1, Words: 971, Reviews: 6 Published: 10-2-06
Status: Complete

Mark has always been afraid of hospitals… but why? [Challenge 34]

Applesauce

2006-09-25T19:59:34-08:00

Author: Sargent Snarky
Category: RENT
Language: English, Rated: K
Genres: Humor
Pairing: Roger D. & Mark C.
Chapters: 1, Words: 980, Reviews: 7 Published: 9-25-06
Status: Complete

Mark has managed to acquire a bag of fresh apples from the grocery where he now works. [challenge 8] Pure silliness.

No Grand Finale

2006-09-24T17:22:39-08:00

Author: Sargent Snarky
Category: RENT
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Angst/Tragedy
Pairing: Mark C. & Roger D.
Chapters: 1, Words: 345, Reviews: 5 Published: 9-24-06
Status: Complete

Drabble – Mark’s thoughts on the ‘dance of life.’ Dark. Character Death. [Challenge 30]

La Vida Loca

2006-08-26T22:54:47-08:00

Author: Sargent Snarky
Category: RENT
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Drama/Angst
Pairing: Mark C. & Maureen J.
Chapters: 1, Words: 2,205, Reviews: 8 Published: 8-26-06
Status: In-Progress

A 'what if...' story. [preRENT][challenge 25] Mark has a problem for which there are no solutions. The most he can acquire is a temporary lessening of the burden.

Kingdom Rents

2006-08-12T21:25:55-08:00

Author: Sargent Snarky
Category: RENT
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor/Parody
Pairing: Angel D.
Chapters: 1, Words: 1,268, Reviews: 7 Published: 8-12-06
Status: Complete

[Challenge 28] What if RENT were one of the worlds Sora goes to during Kingdom Hearts? [AU Crossover]

Why Roger Is Forbidden From Grocery Shopping

2006-08-08T21:41:13-08:00

Author: Sargent Snarky
Category: RENT
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor
Pairing: Roger D. & Mark C.
Chapters: 1, Words: 1,182, Reviews: 21 Published: 8-8-06
Status: Complete

[written for Challenge 16] Roger finds something interesting at the grocery store and brings it home. Roger and Mark then have Sex On The Beach.

And So He Passes

2006-08-06T21:31:59-08:00

Author: Sargent Snarky
Category: RENT
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: General/Angst
Pairing: Mark C.
Chapters: 1, Words: 470, Reviews: 5 Published: 8-6-06
Status: Complete

[postRENT] It has been a long time, but Mark finally smiles, in the end. [written for Challenge 12]

The Cat

2006-08-06T21:31:02-08:00

Author: Sargent Snarky
Category: RENT
Language: English, Rated: K
Genres: Humor
Pairing: Roger D.
Chapters: 1, Words: 475, Reviews: 14 Published: 8-6-06
Status: Complete

[preRENT] Roger Davis had a pet cat when he was a kid. [written for Challenge 11]

You Make Me Sick

2006-08-06T13:29:13-08:00

Author: Sargent Snarky
Category: RENT
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor
Pairing: Mark C. & Roger D.
Chapters: 1, Words: 814, Reviews: 12 Published: 8-6-06
Status: Complete

Humor fic Mark is sick of walking in on Roger & Mimi’s makeout sessions. [response to challenge 11]

Decent Tripe

2006-07-19T23:26:48-08:00

Author: Sargent Snarky
Category: Dark is Rising Sequence
Language: English, Rated: K
Genres: General/Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 420, Reviews: 6 Published: 7-19-06
Status: Complete

Drabble: Merriman has tea with a grim reaper, who’s recently returned to London.

Desiring Humanity and Twilit Musings

2006-07-18T21:20:53-08:00

Author: Sargent Snarky
Category: Dark is Rising Sequence
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Romance/Spiritual
Chapters: 1, Words: 948, Reviews: 1 Published: 7-18-06
Status: Complete

Two companion drabbles on the subject of a ‘forbidden’ relationship between one of the Light and one of the Dark.

Playing Games With Death

2006-07-18T20:20:09-08:00

Author: Sargent Snarky
Category: Dark is Rising Sequence
Language: English, Rated: K
Genres: General/Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 604, Reviews: 10 Published: 7-18-06
Status: Complete

Drabble. Will Stanton discusses the nature of playing games with Death with, well, a Grim Reaper. Half philosophy, half humor.

Silly Songs With Marky

2006-07-01T21:29:29-08:00

Author: Sargent Snarky
Category: RENT
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor/Parody
Pairing: Mark C. & Roger D.
Chapters: 2, Words: 3,856, Reviews: 36 Updated: 7-1-06 Published: 6-30-06
Status: In-Progress

Mark gets swept into song along with his stuffed penguin, Steve. Silliness abounds to the tunes of Veggie Tales!

The Apartment

2006-06-14T02:01:26-08:00

Author: Sargent Snarky
Category: RENT
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Supernatural/General
Pairing: Mark C.
Chapters: 3, Words: 6,561, Reviews: 47 Updated: 6-14-06 Published: 4-22-06
Status: In-Progress

very postRENT I didn’t believe them when they told me it was haunted. I was an idiot. And yet… I don’t regret seeing them. Meeting him. And learning their story.

I Am A Rock

2006-06-11T00:50:19-08:00

Author: Sargent Snarky
Category: RENT
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Angst
Pairing: Mark C.
Chapters: 1, Words: 1,359, Reviews: 5 Published: 6-11-06
Status: Complete

SONGFIC Finally alone, Mark recited a mantra as he numbs himself to the world. postRENT

I Hate Christmas

2006-05-28T12:39:38-08:00

Author: Sargent Snarky
Category: RENT
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Angst
Pairing: Mark C.
Chapters: 1, Words: 3,384, Reviews: 20 Published: 5-28-06
Status: Complete

Mark explains to a nurse exactly why he hates Christmas. postRENT by at least 40 years [entered in challege 2]

Eavesdropping and Family Conversations

2006-05-21T14:22:42-08:00

Author: Sargent Snarky
Category: hack/SIGN
Language: English, Rated: K
Genres: General/Angst
Chapters: 1, Words: 1,097, Reviews: 6 Published: 5-21-06
Status: Complete

oneshot Kite obviously was under considerable stress in the middle and end of the whole Twilight incident. One has to wonder if anyone he knew in real life noticed.

Legend of Zelda: Twisting Threads

2005-12-01T17:51:56-08:00

Author: Sargent Snarky
Category: Legend of Zelda
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Adventure
Pairing: Link
Chapters: 4, Words: 37,966, Reviews: 9 Updated: 12-1-05 Published: 7-11-05
Status: In-Progress

Link returns to Hyrule just in time for everything to go wrong.The Seals are broken, and Ganondorf returns, but not alone Majora's back,too.As usual, it's up to Link to save Termina and Hyrule. At least this time he's not alone. discontinued

System Error Revised Version

2005-08-23T11:18:02-08:00

Author: Sargent Snarky
Category: hack/SIGN
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Horror/Drama
Chapters: 3, Words: 7,564, Reviews: 5 Published: 8-23-05
Status: In-Progress

What if a System Error occurred when Kite used his bracelet? Does the 'game' truely end there? Or, does Kite find a way to keep fighting? REWRITE! Esp. from chapter 2 on

Dreamwalker

2005-08-21T16:36:42-08:00

Author: Sargent Snarky
Category: Dark is Rising Sequence
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Drama/Horror
Chapters: 1, Words: 3,071, Reviews: 8 Published: 8-21-05
Status: In-Progress

The Dark is back. Will must face them. Alas, but no one else remembers, and he get's wounded pretty badly by the Dark. Thrown into this unfortunate mix is a strange pendant and obscure legened about a not so obscure world and its mistress. Oh dear...

Musings of a Lost One

2005-08-21T16:34:21-08:00

Author: Sargent Snarky
Category: hack/SIGN
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: General
Chapters: 1, Words: 677, Reviews: 2 Published: 8-21-05
Status: Complete

The thoughts of one who was data drained. Oneshot

Thoughts of a Rose

2005-08-21T16:30:22-08:00

Author: Sargent Snarky
Category: hack/SIGN
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: General/Angst
Chapters: 1, Words: 748, Reviews: 3 Published: 8-21-05
Status: Complete

Musings of Blackrose sometime during the third game... ONESHOT

Systematic Error original version

2005-08-21T15:55:17-08:00

Author: Sargent Snarky
Category: hack/SIGN
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Drama/Angst
Chapters: 5, Words: 22,595, Reviews: 48 Updated: 8-21-05 Published: 6-5-05
Status: In-Progress

What if a system error occurred when Kite used data drain? Sure, the game ends, but what truly happens to Kite...? original version

Close Encounters of the Bizarre Kind

2005-07-07T09:02:23-08:00

Author: Sargent Snarky
Category: hack/SIGN
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 3, Words: 8,897, Reviews: 21 Updated: 7-7-05 Published: 6-22-05
Status: In-Progress

A series of Oneshots detailing various bizarre yet humerous scenarios that could happen within The World...

Anomalies of the System

2005-07-01T20:42:38-08:00

Author: Sargent Snarky
Category: hack/SIGN
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Romance/Humor
Chapters: 2, Words: 2,500, Reviews: 15 Published: 7-1-05
Status: In-Progress

Sequel to Ignorance Is Bliss. An altered version of the manga of LotT if the AIs of Kite and Tsukasa were thrown into the mix. discontinued

Ignorance Is Bliss

2005-07-01T20:17:23-08:00

Author: Sargent Snarky
Category: hack/SIGN
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Romance/Tragedy
Chapters: 2, Words: 4,279, Reviews: 29 Updated: 7-1-05 Published: 6-23-05
Status: In-Progress

discontinued Kite and Tsukasa exist merely as vagrant A.I.s, remembering nothing of their past before Aura gave them a second chance.While their friends grieve, they wander The World innocently, freely, and happily.Ah yes, their ignorance is bliss.

Fragments of a Shattered Mirror

2005-06-06T10:05:28-08:00

Author: Sargent Snarky
Category: hack/SIGN
Language: English, Rated: M
Genres: Angst/Drama
Chapters: 20, Words: 58,352, Reviews: 144 Updated: 6-6-05 Published: 10-30-04
Status: Complete

A remnant of the corrupted Morganna possesses Kite in order to reap revenge. Events quickly spiral out of control as the unthinkable happens and Kite, the one responsable for bringing his friend and others out of comas, himself falls into a coma. COMPLETE

Death of the old and Rebirth of the new

2005-02-05T17:11:54-08:00

Author: Sargent Snarky
Category: hack/SIGN
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Adventure/General
Chapters: 2, Words: 2,762, Reviews: 6 Updated: 2-5-05 Published: 12-2-04
Status: In-Progress

Before CC Corp. finalized the career werewolf expansions for highlevel fighters, they had beta testers, of course.They were testing werewolf, vampire and summoners.In the end they decided only career werewolves, but why? [discontinued]

Twins of Fate

2004-10-10T17:14:49-08:00

Author: Sargent Snarky
Category: Dark is Rising Sequence
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Adventure/Fantasy
Chapters: 3, Words: 4,320, Reviews: 20 Updated: 10-10-04 Published: 7-25-04
Status: In-Progress

Will may have been the last of the Old Ones to be born, but not the last to come into his power.This story is about the final one of Light and the final one of Dark...Twins inseparable by time,distance or even the magic of all the world. discontinued

Life of Death, Death of Life

2004-09-24T18:01:25-08:00

Author: Sargent Snarky
Category: hack/SIGN
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Adventure/Horror
Chapters: 13, Words: 23,483, Reviews: 31 Updated: 9-24-04 Published: 8-1-04
Status: In-Progress

Tsukasa discovers something still sleeping within the World that seeks destruction. Another player accidentally sets it loose and Tsukasa is the only one who can stop it, but at what price? discontinued

The Joys of Sake

2004-08-26T09:06:14-08:00

Author: Sargent Snarky
Category: hack/SIGN
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor/Angst
Chapters: 4, Words: 3,306, Reviews: 29 Updated: 8-26-04 Published: 8-23-04
Status: Complete

If you watch legend of twilight, you know there is a mod for Sake. We see what happens when Tsukasa, being extremely depressed, decides to try this glorious upload. After all, our little wavemaster can feel and smell in the World, why can't he taste?

Chenalai

2004-07-25T08:49:51-08:00

Author: Sargent Snarky
Category: Forgotten Realms
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Adventure/Fantasy
Chapters: 6, Words: 13,261, Reviews: 9 Updated: 7-25-04 Published: 7-13-04
Status: In-Progress

Chenalai has a rather twisted herritage: half drow, a quarter human and a quarter wood elf. A chronical of her adventures. [discontinued]