FanFiction.Net - KalliopeStarmist's fanfiction

Raising Albert

2009-10-10T10:53:30-08:00

Author: KalliopeStarmist
Category: Naruto
Language: English, Rated: M
Genres: Romance/Humor
Pairing: Naruto U. & Neji H.
Chapters: 3, Words: 22,420, Reviews: 18 Updated: 10-10-09 Published: 8-12-09
Status: Complete

Neji and Naruto make the ultimate commitment and purchase a plant together. But in the back of his mind, Naruto wonders, is their relationship really strong enough for a step this big? NejiNaru.

The Fortune of Mrs Sakura

2009-05-03T22:13:06-08:00

Author: KalliopeStarmist
Category: Naruto
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor/General
Pairing: Sakura H. & Shikamaru N.
Chapters: 15, Words: 63,411, Reviews: 1552 Updated: 5-3-09 Published: 1-13-07
Status: In-Progress

Sakura goes to a fortuneteller, who offers to let her spend one day married to each of her potential matches. Of course, she doesn't realize that Lee and Sasuke are just the tip of the iceburg. .:Every Sakura Pairing:.

Dark Corners of the House of the Rising Sun

2009-01-28T13:35:29-08:00

Author: KalliopeStarmist
Category: Naruto
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor/Family
Pairing: Hiashi H. & Hizashi H.
Chapters: 19, Words: 36,022, Reviews: 246 Updated: 1-28-09 Published: 3-22-07
Status: In-Progress

.:drabble:. Tales from Konoha's Quintessential Dysfunctional Family, the Hyuugas. Starring Hinata, Hanabi, Hiashi, Hizashi, and Neji, even though his name doesn't start with an H.

Good Help

2008-11-09T14:31:06-08:00

Author: KalliopeStarmist
Category: Naruto
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Drama/Humor
Pairing: Itachi U. & Sai
Chapters: 2, Words: 8,929, Reviews: 30 Updated: 11-9-08 Published: 10-20-08
Status: In-Progress

Working undercover as part of an eccletic staff for a socially-inept heir was the last place that Itachi expected to start questioning himself and his loyalties.

Culture Shock

2008-06-19T20:01:03-08:00

Author: KalliopeStarmist
Category: Naruto
Language: English, Rated: M
Genres: Hurt/Comfort/Angst
Pairing: Temari & Itachi U.
Chapters: 11, Words: 28,561, Reviews: 146 Updated: 6-19-08 Published: 5-29-07
Status: In-Progress

The people of Suna are harsh as the desert. The people of Konoha are treacherous as forest shadows. The passionate cannot thrive there... .:ItaTem:.

XxpuppetmasterxX and LilMzSunshine

2008-04-11T14:38:07-08:00

Author: KalliopeStarmist
Category: Naruto
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor/Romance
Pairing: Hinata H. & Kankuro
Chapters: 12, Words: 27,111, Reviews: 304 Updated: 4-11-08 Published: 6-27-07
Status: Complete

Kankuro and Hinata end up in a loveless marriage :blame their fathers: , which is, of course, their cue to retreat to the internet and fall in love with other people. But the internet is no substitute for real life... KankuroXHinata

Sasuke's Triumphant Return

2008-03-31T17:11:52-08:00

Author: KalliopeStarmist
Category: Naruto
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Friendship/Humor
Pairing: Sasuke U.
Chapters: 2, Words: 2,227, Reviews: 33 Updated: 3-31-08 Published: 3-18-08
Status: Complete

Two different oneshots wherein Sasuke makes his way back to Konoha, with Suigetsu, Karin, and Juugo in tow. Contains manga spoilers.

Jurassic Love

2008-02-02T18:32:56-08:00

Author: KalliopeStarmist
Category: Weiss Kreuz
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor/Family
Pairing: Omi T.
Chapters: 2, Words: 3,511, Reviews: 10 Updated: 2-2-08 Published: 12-5-07
Status: In-Progress

Omi goes to his brother for dating advice, Schwarz struggles to raise Nagi without killing him, a new assassin group appears, and then Ken's been watching the Smurfs... [crack fic... duh.]

THE Party Fic

2007-11-06T17:12:03-08:00

Author: KalliopeStarmist
Category: Naruto
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 3, Words: 6,890, Reviews: 57 Updated: 11-6-07 Published: 6-27-07
Status: In-Progress

Or There's a Ninja On the Ceiling. Our favorite genin have a little bash at Naruto's house. Be prepared for Twister, Karaoke, DDR, bad movies, and drunken ninjas. Definitely drunk ninjas.

NaruHina NejiHina Battle Royale

2007-11-03T17:29:40-08:00

Author: KalliopeStarmist
Category: Naruto
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Romance/Humor
Pairing: Naruto U. & Neji H.
Chapters: 7, Words: 4,828, Reviews: 59 Updated: 11-3-07 Published: 10-27-07
Status: Complete

As long as there has been fandom, there has been a battle between Naruto and Neji for Hinata's affection. Today, the battlefield is a series of very short oneshots. Place your bets.

Fairy Godmother Shukaku

2007-10-25T16:41:00-08:00

Author: KalliopeStarmist
Category: Naruto
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor/Romance
Pairing: Temari & Itachi U.
Chapters: 13, Words: 26,653, Reviews: 145 Updated: 10-25-07 Published: 10-7-06
Status: Complete

Temari was rather fond of Shukaku, at least, she didn't have a problem with him until he decided she needs a boyfriend, and he's just the demon to find her one! [ShikamaruXTemariXItachi triangle, lime]

Dante's Divine Sitcom

2007-10-24T10:40:30-08:00

Author: KalliopeStarmist
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Family/Humor
Pairing: Führer Bradley & Envy
Chapters: 1, Words: 663, Reviews: 5 Published: 10-24-07
Status: In-Progress

The life and times of Anime!Pride. Because the only thing more traumatic than having Envy as your older brother is not getting any screentime to complain about it. [Spoilers, and lots of them]

Babydoll

2007-09-14T14:01:33-08:00

Author: KalliopeStarmist
Category: Naruto
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Romance/Hurt/Comfort
Pairing: Sasori & Sakura H.
Chapters: 1, Words: 2,617, Reviews: 28 Published: 9-14-07
Status: Complete

.:SasoSaku, fluff, oneshot:. Wherein Sasori learns what it means to create something of beauty, and Sakura learns that good, evil, kindness, and cruelty do not follow social expectations.

Twirlygigs and Gizzards

2007-07-26T20:51:44-08:00

Author: KalliopeStarmist
Category: Naruto
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Romance/Humor
Pairing: Sakura H. & Gaara
Chapters: 12, Words: 27,814, Reviews: 431 Updated: 7-26-07 Published: 7-31-06
Status: Complete

Sakura, fed up with the romance interests in her life, decides to drag Gaara around town. Not too complicated, so why is everyone so confused? [SakuGaar][Chapter 12 is up!]

One Day at the Playground

2007-07-11T13:55:05-08:00

Author: KalliopeStarmist
Category: Naruto
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor/Friendship
Pairing: Itachi U. & Hinata H.
Chapters: 1, Words: 2,583, Reviews: 51 Published: 7-11-07
Status: Complete

Sasuke, tell you what, why don't I take you to the park? You can meet some kids your own age and stop bugging me. [Oneshot baby!nins]

The Mysterious Hermano

2007-06-20T10:04:20-08:00

Author: KalliopeStarmist
Category: Naruto
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor/Romance
Pairing: Shikamaru N. & Kankuro
Chapters: 1, Words: 3,335, Reviews: 9 Published: 6-20-07
Status: Complete

[oneshot, Kankuro X Shikamaru] After a wild party at Sasuke's, Temari begins to suspect that Shikamaru is cheating on her and so enlists the help of her brother to track down the mysterious Hermano who has stolen her boyfriend.

Trouble Brewing in the House of Sand

2007-06-08T09:39:40-08:00

Author: KalliopeStarmist
Category: Naruto
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor/Family
Chapters: 8, Words: 8,418, Reviews: 74 Updated: 6-8-07 Published: 1-23-07
Status: Complete

Gaara's parents before he was born. The version your Uncle Yashamaru didn't tell you. If you've ever wondered why Mom didn't tell Dad exactly where he could stick Shukaku, then this may be your fic!

The EDO : Join the Resistance!

2007-01-24T12:36:53-08:00

Author: KalliopeStarmist
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Suspense/Humor
Pairing: Winry R. & Envy
Chapters: 1, Words: 2,641, Reviews: 6 Published: 1-24-07
Status: Complete

Ed is not all he appears, and when his evil plan goes into motion, the fate of humanity may rest on the inhuman. Ed is clever, true, but the Sins aren't done yet... [oneshot AU]

Sort Of

2007-01-23T20:32:25-08:00

Author: KalliopeStarmist
Category: Naruto
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: General/Romance
Pairing: Shikamaru N. & Kankuro
Chapters: 1, Words: 1,273, Reviews: 21 Published: 1-23-07
Status: Complete

[oneshot] Temari's taking forever to get ready, so Shikamaru has a chat with Kankuro while he's waiting. After all, the two of them are friends. Sort of. [Kankuro X Shikamaru]

A SugarySweet Christmas Tale

2006-12-17T19:50:09-08:00

Author: KalliopeStarmist
Category: Naruto
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor/General
Chapters: 1, Words: 2,749, Reviews: 18 Published: 12-17-06
Status: Complete

Take Christmas Cheer, add ninjas, a hearty dose of humor and some sappy fluff, mix well. Sprinkle lightly with crack pairing. Serve as a oneshot.

Several Short Stories Starring Sloth

2006-11-17T16:17:06-08:00

Author: KalliopeStarmist
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor
Pairing: Sloth
Chapters: 6, Words: 10,730, Reviews: 34 Updated: 11-17-06 Published: 2-25-06
Status: Complete

The Military's resident snobby secretary tackles workaholism, parenting, Elrics, and all of reincarnation's other little quirks.

One Day by the River

2006-10-21T20:17:39-08:00

Author: KalliopeStarmist
Category: Naruto
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor/General
Pairing: Itachi U. & Hinata H.
Chapters: 1, Words: 860, Reviews: 59 Published: 10-21-06
Status: Complete

[oneshot] This is Uchiha Itachi, age 11. The little boy over there is his younger brother. Yes, that's right, the one surrounded by girls.

Uncle Dearest

2006-09-21T19:15:57-08:00

Author: KalliopeStarmist
Category: Naruto
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Drama/Parody
Pairing: Temari & Kankuro
Chapters: 1, Words: 3,791, Reviews: 26 Published: 9-21-06
Status: Complete

[oneshot] A Twisted StoryArch Masterpiece. Temari's To Do List: Do dishes, make sure Kankuro eats, and dispose of her uncle's body before Gaara gets arrested. Just a typical evening, really.

The Village Hidden in the Lemon Peels

2006-09-09T21:07:39-08:00

Author: KalliopeStarmist
Category: Naruto
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor/Parody
Chapters: 6, Words: 15,794, Reviews: 53 Updated: 9-9-06 Published: 6-27-06
Status: Complete

After an attack on their friends, Naruto and Sasuke seek vengence from the infamous Writer Ninjas of Lemongakure. Joined by Zabuza and his li'l friend Haku, they have to hurry, because things are heating up in Konoha, and they may be its only hope.

Trying To Be Human

2006-07-31T10:33:33-08:00

Author: KalliopeStarmist
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor/Romance
Pairing: Elysia H. & Wrath
Chapters: 10, Words: 18,795, Reviews: 29 Updated: 7-31-06 Published: 10-23-05
Status: Complete

By Popular Demand: the sequel to 'If You Give A Sin A Soul! Poor little Reg thought his problems were over. But, then, he thought his folks were dead, too. Can the littlest Sin get married before Roy gets too nosy?

One Day at the Hospital

2006-07-18T11:33:35-08:00

Author: KalliopeStarmist
Category: Naruto
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor/General
Chapters: 1, Words: 1,204, Reviews: 15 Published: 7-18-06
Status: Complete

[oneshot] What do food poisoning, trying to kill your brother, old drinking games, and vanilla milkshakes have in common? Well, they can all land you at Konoha Memorial Hospital.

Twisted StoryArch Masterpiece Theater

2006-06-17T17:39:15-08:00

Author: KalliopeStarmist
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Parody/Humor
Chapters: 3, Words: 15,412, Reviews: 9 Updated: 6-17-06 Published: 5-7-06
Status: Complete

The ending CartoonNetwork didn't want you to see. Rose tortures Ed, Dante, and assorted Sins, Roy and Sciesca decide that Bradley's term of office is up, and the truth behind lab 5 comes out! Don't miss it!

Evangelion: Hagane No Genesis

2006-06-17T10:57:32-08:00

Author: KalliopeStarmist
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Parody/Humor
Chapters: 4, Words: 5,157, Reviews: 13 Updated: 6-17-06 Published: 6-14-06
Status: Complete

Or: Hoenheim of Light Saves the World With Giant Robots Piloted by his Sons. What was Winry and Hughes' past relationship? Why does Riza hate Sloth? Watch the drama unfold as Ed and Envy stomp around in giant robots! [rated for language]

Lust of Ishbala

2006-05-05T18:43:51-08:00

Author: KalliopeStarmist
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Romance/Humor
Pairing: Lust & Scar
Chapters: 1, Words: 4,606, Reviews: 6 Published: 5-5-06
Status: Complete

[Lust X Scar] All Lust wanted was to die. The evil, egomaniac author had other plans. Now she's 'living' with Scar and his family... [one shot]

If You Give a Sin a Soul

2005-09-22T17:48:42-08:00

Author: KalliopeStarmist
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor/Drama
Pairing: Wrath & Elysia H.
Chapters: 5, Words: 10,192, Reviews: 33 Updated: 9-22-05 Published: 9-20-05
Status: Complete

Taking your girlfriend to meet your folks is never easy, especially when your 'folks' are former homunculi. Not to mention, Reg's girlfriend has a secret that may prove more devistating that Envy's wardrobe impairment.

What Happens in Weiss, Stays in Weiss

2005-06-02T20:29:54-08:00

Author: KalliopeStarmist
Category: Weiss Kreuz
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 9, Words: 35,913, Reviews: 18 Updated: 6-2-05 Published: 3-20-05
Status: Complete

The Nuances of Toast, a band of merry original characters, find themselves trapped in the land of Killer Florists. Will they find a way home before being killed by irrate fangirls?

Gary Bother and the Shiny Rock o' Magic

2005-02-09T12:42:30-08:00

Author: KalliopeStarmist
Category: Harry Potter
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Parody/Humor
Chapters: 6, Words: 12,998, Reviews: 20 Updated: 2-9-05 Published: 9-17-04
Status: Complete

Gary leaves behind his disfunctional distant relations and braves evil bowling balls, fluffy puppies, teachers who can really hold a grudge, and the occasional mortal enemy at Pigpimple School for Warlocks and Weirdos.

Hyrule as Seen by a Third Party

2005-01-13T08:24:25-08:00

Author: KalliopeStarmist
Category: Legend of Zelda
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: General
Chapters: 4, Words: 8,281, Reviews: 12 Updated: 1-13-05 Published: 11-30-04
Status: Complete

Kicked from one culture to another, looking for a home or a cooler name, forced into a spotlight that assasins are drawn to, what's a girl to do but play along? Never to be finished