FanFiction.Net - The Battling Bard's fanfiction

The World's Worst Silmarillion Poem

2008-05-31T17:06:32-08:00

Author: The Battling Bard
Category: Silmarillion
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Drama/Tragedy
Chapters: 1, Words: 1,152, Reviews: 6 Published: 5-31-08
Status: In-Progress

The tragic tale of Feanor and the Doom of the Noldor. Like The Lays Of Beleriand, only worse.

Much's Mighty Cock

2008-03-20T06:42:52-08:00

Author: The Battling Bard
Category: Robin Hood BBC
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 105, Reviews: 9 Published: 3-20-08
Status: Complete

Much and Robin have some fun in the forest

The Vengeance of the Princes of The Noldor

2008-03-11T07:57:48-08:00

Author: The Battling Bard
Category: Silmarillion
Language: English, Rated: M
Genres: Humor/Parody
Chapters: 1, Words: 531, Reviews: 3 Published: 3-11-08
Status: Complete

The Princes of the Noldor wreak revenge on all those slanderous slash and pwp writers.

The Legolas Loves a Mortal Wangst Story From Hell

2008-03-11T07:11:29-08:00

Author: The Battling Bard
Category: Lord of the Rings
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor/Parody
Pairing: Legolas
Chapters: 1, Words: 418, Reviews: 10 Published: 3-11-08
Status: Complete

I think the title says it all...

The To The Point Mary Sue Slash Story From Hell

2008-02-13T14:16:46-08:00

Author: The Battling Bard
Category: Lord of the Rings
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Horror/Romance
Pairing: Legolas & Glorfindel
Chapters: 4, Words: 2,002, Reviews: 53 Updated: 2-13-08 Published: 3-6-06
Status: Complete

Ever wondered what would happen when your two favourite/hated genres collide? Join Mary sue as she discovers the messy implications of a world of hermaphrodite elves.

The Curse of Eärendil the Blessed

2008-02-04T11:21:53-08:00

Author: The Battling Bard
Category: Silmarillion
Language: English, Rated: K
Genres: Fantasy/Spiritual
Chapters: 1, Words: 248, Reviews: 5 Published: 2-4-08
Status: Complete

Eärendil watches the world change in despair

The To The Point PWP Story From Hell

2007-11-20T12:47:19-08:00

Author: The Battling Bard
Category: Lord of the Rings
Language: English, Rated: M
Genres: Romance/Horror
Pairing: Glorfindel & Elrohir/Elladan
Chapters: 1, Words: 376, Reviews: 4 Published: 11-20-07
Status: Complete

aka, The Super Sexy Elves Halloween Party. Third in the ...From Hell series

The Arda Times: An Editors Story

2007-11-19T12:10:59-08:00

Author: The Battling Bard
Category: Lord of the Rings
Language: English, Rated: K
Genres: Humor/Parody
Pairing: Legolas & Aragorn
Chapters: 2, Words: 1,316, Reviews: 8 Updated: 11-19-07 Published: 1-8-07
Status: Complete

A Gondorian newspaper editor regrets his employment of Middle-earth's biggest gossips. This is a satirical piece, and a comment on the lunacy of modern media.

The Xenophobe's Guide To

2007-03-04T07:10:30-08:00

Author: The Battling Bard
Category: Lord of the Rings
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor/General
Chapters: 1, Words: 1,379, Reviews: 6 Published: 3-4-07
Status: In-Progress

An irreverant guide to the various races of Middle earth.

Second

2007-02-15T07:12:56-08:00

Author: The Battling Bard
Category: Silmarillion
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Romance/General
Chapters: 1, Words: 203, Reviews: 7 Published: 2-15-07
Status: Complete

For who can, be he Elda Maia or shining Vala, ever presume to know the deepest depths of a person's heart? FinweIndis pairing. Written because I'm tired of reading about poor Indis being abused by fanfiction writers.

The Final Writings of Gabrielle

2007-02-15T07:05:52-08:00

Author: The Battling Bard
Category: Xena: Warrior Princess
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Spiritual/Angst
Pairing: Gabrielle & Xena
Chapters: 1, Words: 543, Reviews: 3 Published: 2-15-07
Status: Complete

An elderly Gabrielle chooses her final resting place. Slight femslash GabrielleXena pairing

The To The Point Slash Story From Hell

2007-01-26T02:42:11-08:00

Author: The Battling Bard
Category: Lord of the Rings
Language: English, Rated: M
Genres: Tragedy/Spiritual
Pairing: Erestor & Glorfindel
Chapters: 1, Words: 58, Reviews: 16 Published: 1-26-07
Status: Complete

aka Anyone Fancy A Wank? Second in the ...From Hell series. A touching tale of true love old Ronnie would be proud of. WARNING! CONTAINS EXPLICIT AND HIGHLY UNREALISTIC GAY SEX, SLASH, YAOI, ANAL, S&M! Thought that might get your attention

The Politically Correct Tale of Tinuviel

2007-01-08T06:44:26-08:00

Author: The Battling Bard
Category: Silmarillion
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Parody/Humor
Chapters: 3, Words: 1,015, Reviews: 14 Published: 1-8-07
Status: In-Progress

Anyone else think Tolkien is sexist and racist? Well this is the cure for you. Tolkien's legendary tale of love, bravery and sacrifice rewritten for our politically correct times.

The Sad Fate Of Umuiyan the Dark

2006-07-07T03:22:51-08:00

Author: The Battling Bard
Category: Silmarillion
Language: English, Rated: K
Genres: Angst/Tragedy
Chapters: 1, Words: 129, Reviews: 7 Published: 7-7-06
Status: Complete

A Cat of Berúthiel bemoans the tragic fate of his luckless race.

Desires Of The Hroa

2006-05-12T14:02:57-08:00

Author: The Battling Bard
Category: Silmarillion
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Romance/Angst
Chapters: 1, Words: 338, Reviews: 17 Published: 5-12-06
Status: Complete

A wedded elf ponders his forbidden love for another. Inspired by a quote from Morgoth's Ring.