FanFiction.Net - shewhoguards's fanfiction

Child's Play

2009-08-03T17:17:15-08:00

Author: shewhoguards
Category: Stargate: Atlantis
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor/General
Pairing: Radek Z. & Rodney M.
Chapters: 1, Words: 9,027, Reviews: 1 Published: 8-3-09
Status: Complete

Of course, it all started with a disagreement with Rodney. What happened to Radek during Critical Mass, and the events following.

Road Safety

2009-08-03T12:06:46-08:00

Author: shewhoguards
Category: Torchwood
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor/Horror
Pairing: Ianto J. & Owen H.
Chapters: 1, Words: 687, Reviews: 7 Published: 8-3-09
Status: In-Progress

Right." Ianto was silent for a moment, fingers drumming on the steering wheel. "You know, it would be a lot easier if we could shoot them."

Love of the Common People

2009-07-28T04:18:03-08:00

Author: shewhoguards
Category: Torchwood
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Family/General
Pairing: Ianto J.
Chapters: 1, Words: 5,357, Reviews: 4 Published: 7-28-09
Status: Complete

When Rhiannon was nine, she watched her father break her brother's leg. Ianto, through his sister's eyes.

Forget Me Not

2009-07-24T16:34:22-08:00

Author: shewhoguards
Category: Stargate: Atlantis
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Angst/Adventure
Pairing: Radek Z.
Chapters: 1, Words: 7,629, Reviews: 2 Published: 7-24-09
Status: Complete

He didn't know who he was. He didn't know where he was. He wasn't sure how he'd got there either." Tabula Rasa from Zelenka's viewpoint. uses dialogue from Tabula Rosa, may be triggery for implied memory of violence

Only You Can Save Mankind

2009-07-18T03:23:19-08:00

Author: shewhoguards
Crossover: Stargate: SG-1 and Stargate: Atlantis
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Adventure/Friendship
Chapters: 14, Words: 113,502, Reviews: 10 Published: 7-18-09
Status: Complete

They called them the Wraith, ghosts that walked and brought death on their hands, and no country objected when their brightest and best children were demanded in order to prepare to fight the alien menace. Stargate AU.

100 Things Crowley Would Do Before the World Ended

2009-01-07T13:05:18-08:00

Author: shewhoguards
Category: Good Omens
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor/Friendship
Chapters: 1, Words: 26,628, Reviews: 48 Published: 1-7-09
Status: Complete

Other people plan 100 things to do before they die. Crowley planned 100 things before EVERYBODY died.

Of Wishes And Fishes

2009-01-03T05:22:13-08:00

Author: shewhoguards
Category: Good Omens
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor/Adventure
Chapters: 2, Words: 15,979, Reviews: 4 Published: 1-3-09
Status: Complete

A dogfish, a catfish, a wishing ring and a holiday in the North of England. What could go wrong?

The Fifth Of Four

2009-01-03T04:32:53-08:00

Author: shewhoguards
Category: Good Omens
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: General/Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 1,616, Reviews: 6 Published: 1-3-09
Status: Complete

Someone was born on Christmas Day. No, someone *else*.

God Knows, Even Angels Fall

2009-01-03T04:31:58-08:00

Author: shewhoguards
Category: Good Omens
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Romance/Angst
Chapters: 1, Words: 1,646, Reviews: 4 Published: 1-3-09
Status: Complete

Crowley never meant to fall. He just hung around with the wrong people.

The Last Dance

2009-01-03T04:18:32-08:00

Author: shewhoguards
Category: Titanic
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Angst/Family
Chapters: 1, Words: 936, Reviews: 8 Published: 1-3-09
Status: Complete

As the ship sank, the band kept playing.

Seduced by a Song

2009-01-03T04:09:51-08:00

Author: shewhoguards
Category: Fairy Tales
Language: English, Rated: K
Genres: General/Angst
Chapters: 1, Words: 416, Reviews: 2 Published: 1-3-09
Status: Complete

What we heard in the Pied Piper's music.

Songs of the Nightingale

2009-01-03T04:08:34-08:00

Author: shewhoguards
Category: Fairy Tales
Language: English, Rated: K
Genres: General
Chapters: 1, Words: 3,714, Reviews: 2 Published: 1-3-09
Status: Complete

There are often tales told of an Emperor who lived at a certain time and of what wisdom passed to him through a wonderful gift, but seldom do those storytellers truly speak of the life of the bird that was that gift and so what is known is only half of th

A Patrician's Best Friend

2009-01-03T03:59:13-08:00

Author: shewhoguards
Category: Discworld
Language: English, Rated: K
Genres: General/Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 428, Reviews: 8 Published: 1-3-09
Status: Complete

If it was thought inappropriate that the Patrician should walk a dog himself, there was certainly no-one prepared to actually say so to Havelock Vetinari.

Entering With Intent

2009-01-03T03:56:36-08:00

Author: shewhoguards
Category: Discworld
Language: English, Rated: K
Genres: Humor/General
Chapters: 1, Words: 963, Reviews: 15 Published: 1-3-09
Status: Complete

The Hogfather encounters a slight problem on Hogswatchnight.

A Kind Of Magic

2009-01-03T03:52:21-08:00

Author: shewhoguards
Category: Diana Wynne Jones
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: General/Angst
Chapters: 1, Words: 793, Reviews: 2 Published: 1-3-09
Status: Complete

Mordion wasn't sure how he'd first done magic.

Come Away, Oh Mortal Child

2009-01-03T03:50:28-08:00

Author: shewhoguards
Category: Diana Wynne Jones
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Family/General
Chapters: 1, Words: 1,521, Reviews: 5 Published: 1-3-09
Status: Complete

If it's a girl," he suggested casually, "we could call it Janet." And Polly felt her stomach freeze.

End Of the Line

2008-10-31T12:53:34-08:00

Author: shewhoguards
Crossover: Harry Potter and Discworld
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Angst/Humor
Pairing: Severus S.
Chapters: 8, Words: 30,454, Reviews: 380 Updated: 10-31-08 Published: 7-22-07
Status: Complete

Hell was, Snape decided, a crowded railway platform.Post Deathly Hallows. Contains spoilers.

I Never Promised You A Rose Garden

2008-06-01T13:36:44-08:00

Author: shewhoguards
Category: Harry Potter
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Angst/Family
Pairing: Neville L.
Chapters: 1, Words: 3,232, Reviews: 14 Published: 6-1-08
Status: Complete

Well, at least he could do something about an overgrown garden.

Minerva McGonagall and the Insurance Salesman

2008-04-22T16:38:20-08:00

Author: shewhoguards
Category: Harry Potter
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor/General
Pairing: Minerva M.
Chapters: 1, Words: 1,252, Reviews: 29 Published: 4-22-08
Status: In-Progress

The hapless insurance salesman squirmed. “If you will recall, Professor McGonagall, last time we spoke I told you we wished to cancel your policy. The amount of issues the school has – it’s simply too high-risk for us...”

This Is How The Universe Ends

2008-04-20T11:53:35-08:00

Author: shewhoguards
Crossover: Discworld and Torchwood
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor/Angst
Chapters: 1, Words: 3,992, Reviews: 41 Published: 4-20-08
Status: Complete

EXCUSE ME, he said, not impolitely. BUT YOU ARE HOLDING UP THE END OF THE UNIVERSE.

For Thou Art With Me

2008-01-01T13:39:46-08:00

Author: shewhoguards
Category: Little Women
Language: English, Rated: K
Genres: General/Family
Chapters: 1, Words: 2,884, Reviews: 3 Published: 1-1-08
Status: Complete

The first time Ted brought Dan home, he was barely more than a baby.

Night Comes Early

2007-11-01T14:05:37-08:00

Author: shewhoguards
Category: Harry Potter
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Angst/General
Pairing: Alastor M.
Chapters: 1, Words: 1,782, Reviews: 4 Published: 11-1-07
Status: In-Progress

Winter came, and with it came the dark. A look at Moody between the first war and the second.

Soft As A Dementor's Kiss

2007-10-24T10:02:18-08:00

Author: shewhoguards
Category: Harry Potter
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: General/Tragedy
Chapters: 1, Words: 3,738, Reviews: 11 Published: 10-24-07
Status: Complete

The first thing it knew was the hunger. Life from a Dementor's point of view.

Night of the Anas

2007-10-24T09:55:59-08:00

Author: shewhoguards
Category: Harry Potter
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor/Adventure
Chapters: 1, Words: 10,816, Reviews: 15 Published: 10-24-07
Status: Complete

“I bet it sneaked up here from Experimental Charms, they’re so careless, remember that poisonous duck?” The story behind the escaped poisonous duck.

Platform i

2007-10-21T14:22:20-08:00

Author: shewhoguards
Category: Harry Potter
Language: English, Rated: K
Genres: General/Family
Pairing: Remus L.
Chapters: 1, Words: 7,251, Reviews: 17 Published: 10-21-07
Status: Complete

The first time Remus Lupin tried to board the Hogwarts Express, he went to Platform EightAndAQuarter by mistake.

Little Witches

2007-10-14T09:21:02-08:00

Author: shewhoguards
Category: Harry Potter
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: General/Romance
Pairing: Andromeda T. & Ted T.
Chapters: 4, Words: 39,424, Reviews: 27 Updated: 10-14-07 Published: 9-3-07
Status: In-Progress

In order to understand how things are now, sometimes we must look at them before they got broken. A look at the Black family, in the days before it fell apart.

Paved With Good Intentions

2007-09-25T14:56:32-08:00

Author: shewhoguards
Category: Harry Potter
Language: English, Rated: K
Genres: General/Family
Pairing: Petunia D. & Vernon D.
Chapters: 1, Words: 1,955, Reviews: 18 Published: 9-25-07
Status: Complete

What do you do when you find a baby with your morning milk?

Namesake

2007-09-22T15:58:19-08:00

Author: shewhoguards
Category: Harry Potter
Language: English, Rated: K
Genres: General/Romance
Pairing: Remus L. & N. Tonks
Chapters: 1, Words: 739, Reviews: 10 Published: 9-22-07
Status: Complete

“We could call him Sirius?” What's in a name?

Things That Go Bump In The Night

2007-09-22T14:28:51-08:00

Author: shewhoguards
Category: Harry Potter
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: General/Humor
Pairing: Molly W. & Arthur W.
Chapters: 1, Words: 1,997, Reviews: 8 Published: 9-22-07
Status: In-Progress

First take one ghoul. Stun it, and stuff it into pyjamas before it has time to struggle. Add red hair. Cover the final product liberally in large painful boils. What you produce using this method should be a perfect replica for a Weasley with spattergroit

Photo Impact

2007-09-06T16:43:15-08:00

Author: shewhoguards
Category: Harry Potter
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Angst/General
Pairing: Colin C. & Dennis C.
Chapters: 1, Words: 991, Reviews: 12 Published: 9-6-07
Status: Complete

For Colin, it had never stopped being an adventure DH spoilers

Nine Little Shadows

2007-08-13T03:00:41-08:00

Author: shewhoguards
Category: Peter Pan
Language: English, Rated: K
Genres: Angst/Spiritual
Pairing: Wendy D. & John D.
Chapters: 1, Words: 3,039, Reviews: 10 Published: 8-13-07
Status: Complete

They are all growing older now, ever so much older than twenty., and it is a sad fact that everyone who grows up has to die sometime. What happened to the Lost Boys after they came home.

Highway Code

2007-08-08T14:53:05-08:00

Author: shewhoguards
Category: Harry Potter
Language: English, Rated: K
Genres: Humor
Pairing: Ron W. & Hermione G.
Chapters: 1, Words: 1,632, Reviews: 33 Published: 8-8-07
Status: Complete

Why Hermione really wasn't certain Ron could pass a Muggle driving test.

And Then Thread Ended

2005-11-26T13:58:19-08:00

Author: shewhoguards
Category: Dragonriders of Pern series
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: General/Tragedy
Chapters: 2, Words: 1,793, Reviews: 9 Published: 11-26-05
Status: Complete

A less cheerful look on how life could go after Skies.

Emberella and Twinkle

2005-11-26T13:51:16-08:00

Author: shewhoguards
Category: Dragonriders of Pern series
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Parody/Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 1,616, Reviews: 7 Published: 11-26-05
Status: Complete

This can't really claim to be anything other than crackfic the result of one too many bad persona sheets. Almost everything in this fic is from a real rejected sheet. Except the elephant.

The Greatest NotLove Story Ever Told

2005-11-26T13:36:19-08:00

Author: shewhoguards
Category: Dragonriders of Pern series
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Romance/Angst
Chapters: 1, Words: 4,319, Reviews: 1 Published: 11-26-05
Status: Complete

Not every marriage is a happy one. Written for a Valentine competition for Arolos Weyr.

Pants Theory

2005-11-26T13:20:58-08:00

Author: shewhoguards
Category: Dragonriders of Pern series
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor/Romance
Chapters: 1, Words: 703, Reviews: 4 Published: 11-26-05
Status: Complete

A look at a dragonrider's view of relationships written for an Arolos Weyr Valentine contest.

Dragonless

2005-11-26T12:58:54-08:00

Author: shewhoguards
Category: Dragonriders of Pern series
Language: English, Rated: K
Genres: Angst/General
Chapters: 1, Words: 1,323, Reviews: 15 Published: 11-26-05
Status: Complete

What if you were prevented from dying with your dragon? Not everyone was happy about Brekke's second chance.

Necessary Temptation

2005-11-26T12:44:22-08:00

Author: shewhoguards
Category: Bible
Language: English, Rated: K
Genres: General/Spiritual
Chapters: 1, Words: 761, Reviews: 2 Published: 11-26-05
Status: Complete

Some choices are too important to allow humans to make them wrongly.

Closing

2005-10-23T07:25:32-08:00

Author: shewhoguards
Category: CSI
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Adventure/General
Chapters: 1, Words: 1,772, Reviews: 0 Published: 10-23-05
Status: In-Progress

Every story has two sides. The telesalist has a point of view too. Based around the Season 5 Snakes episode