FanFiction.Net - The Illustrious Crackpot's fanfiction

Play It Again, Samson

2009-10-14T12:18:45-08:00

Author: The Illustrious Crackpot
Category: Camp Lazlo
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: General
Chapters: 2, Words: 2,528, Reviews: 4 Updated: 10-14-09 Published: 9-1-09
Status: In-Progress

Art imitates life, which imitates art; and music is the greatest art of all. A collection of oneshots focusing on various characters and/or pairings, all inspired by song lyrics.

If I'm In Love, PLEASE SHOOT ME!

2009-10-14T10:34:20-08:00

Author: The Illustrious Crackpot
Category: Camp Lazlo
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor/Romance
Chapters: 7, Words: 26,517, Reviews: 24 Updated: 10-14-09 Published: 6-15-09
Status: In-Progress

Edward is the one scout in Camp Kidney LEAST likely to ever get involved in anything to romantic. And yet he’s suddenly tangled in a crazy romantic jumble of secrets, naivete, misunderstandings, and a celebrity crush in reverse. Can he possibly survive?

Show Me Fifty Times And I'll Believe You

2009-09-01T09:27:18-08:00

Author: The Illustrious Crackpot
Category: Phineas and Ferb
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: General
Chapters: 8, Words: 23,133, Reviews: 83 Updated: 9-1-09 Published: 9-7-08
Status: In-Progress

THEME CHALLENGE SET. There is no such thing as a "stock" relationship, as every connection between any two people is inherently unique. The relationships in Phineas and Ferb—platonic, romantic, or otherwise—are no different.

The Void

2008-10-13T08:45:11-08:00

Author: The Illustrious Crackpot
Category: Tales of Symphonia
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Angst
Pairing: Presea C.
Chapters: 1, Words: 1,882, Reviews: 4 Published: 10-13-08
Status: Complete

*WARNING! MAJOR SPOILERS!* For far too long, Presea was lost to a void, feeling nothing and experiencing nothing. Now that she's left that void, she's found another in her life...and this will be impossible to fill.

Piggy In The Middle

2008-09-07T07:22:19-08:00

Author: The Illustrious Crackpot
Category: Muppets Tonight
Language: English, Rated: K
Genres: General
Chapters: 1, Words: 4,079, Reviews: 5 Published: 9-7-08
Status: Complete

Miss Piggy fears nothing; not poverty, not obscurity, not even dangerous weapons...except maybe an attack of conscience.

Dummy

2008-08-10T06:55:46-08:00

Author: The Illustrious Crackpot
Category: Chip and Dale's Rescue Rangers
Language: English, Rated: K
Genres: Angst/Friendship
Chapters: 1, Words: 599, Reviews: 7 Published: 8-10-08
Status: Complete

He wasn't stupid. He KNEW he wasn't. But the fact that his best friend thought so depressed and infuriated him all at once.

The Great Danville Cold Wars

2008-07-06T08:06:27-08:00

Author: The Illustrious Crackpot
Category: Phineas and Ferb
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 10,384, Reviews: 23 Published: 7-6-08
Status: Complete

A silly little story about Candace falling ill, Phineas and Ferb venturing into the field of modern medicine, and Perry's epic quest to stop yet another of Dr. Doofenshmirtz's evil schemes!

When Mice Were Men

2008-06-11T10:57:38-08:00

Author: The Illustrious Crackpot
Category: Pinky and the Brain
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: General
Chapters: 5, Words: 12,252, Reviews: 31 Updated: 6-11-08 Published: 12-20-07
Status: In-Progress

Collabfic with Cacaxa. As usual, Pinky and Brain try to take over the world. And, as usual, they fail. But this time, failure means seeing the world through different eyes, and new experiences that might not all be pleasant.

Face In The Crowd

2008-06-08T10:44:46-08:00

Author: The Illustrious Crackpot
Category: Camp Lazlo
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Romance
Chapters: 1, Words: 1,778, Reviews: 14 Published: 6-8-08
Status: Complete

We both treat each other exactly the same way we treat everyone else. So why does it feel different?

Serendipity

2008-05-19T10:36:29-08:00

Author: The Illustrious Crackpot
Category: Phineas and Ferb
Language: English, Rated: K
Genres: Family/Hurt/Comfort
Chapters: 1, Words: 2,461, Reviews: 35 Published: 5-19-08
Status: Complete

For the silent one of the family, Ferb certainly keeps a lot of things to himself. This story is one of them.

As Crime Goes By

2008-04-01T06:22:28-08:00

Author: The Illustrious Crackpot
Category: DarkWing Duck
Language: English, Rated: K
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 5,727, Reviews: 12 Published: 4-1-08
Status: Complete

Poor, poor Negaduck. The city's just no place for crime today. But he'll be darned if he can't drag the rest of the Fearsome Five all across St. Canard and back without raising SOME havoc...

Carbon Copies

2008-03-02T10:00:05-08:00

Author: The Illustrious Crackpot
Category: Codename: Kids Next Door
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Friendship/Family
Pairing: Abigail L. & Rachael
Chapters: 1, Words: 628, Reviews: 7 Published: 3-2-08
Status: Complete

Post I.N.T.E.R.V.I.E.W.S., contains spoilers. Numbuh 362 wants Sector V to accept a new trainee into their ranks, but, for some reason, Numbuh Five keeps refusing.

Operation: TEARS

2008-03-02T09:58:19-08:00

Author: The Illustrious Crackpot
Category: Codename: Kids Next Door
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Hurt/Comfort/Friendship
Pairing: Lizzie D.
Chapters: 1, Words: 4,877, Reviews: 4 Published: 3-2-08
Status: Complete

Post I.N.T.E.R.V.I.E.W.S., contains some spoilers. Lizzie's having a hard time coping, even though she'd officially dumped Nigel long before the "incident". Dealing with an irritating KND operative in search of information is the LAST thing she wants.

Just A Smile And A Song

2008-02-14T13:04:08-08:00

Author: The Illustrious Crackpot
Category: Camp Lazlo
Language: English, Rated: K
Genres: Humor/Friendship
Chapters: 1, Words: 5,044, Reviews: 7 Published: 2-14-08
Status: Complete

Poor insecure Raj is miffed that Patsy is always ignoring him. When he offers to provide musical accompaniment for a "concert" she's singing in, will she finally notice him...or will this plot blow up in his face?

Dust In The Wind

2008-01-24T12:42:15-08:00

Author: The Illustrious Crackpot
Category: Codename: Kids Next Door
Language: English, Rated: K
Genres: Romance
Pairing: Delightfuls
Chapters: 1, Words: 754, Reviews: 6 Published: 1-24-08
Status: Complete

Post Z.E.R.O., contains spoilers. ...The most tragic element of their romance was that they would never remember it.

Confessions Of An Insomniac

2008-01-06T10:17:45-08:00

Author: The Illustrious Crackpot
Category: Jhonen Vasquez
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor/Parody
Pairing: Johnny C.
Chapters: 1, Words: 1,001, Reviews: 9 Published: 1-6-08
Status: Complete

I know it's an EXTREMELY well guarded secret, but Nny isn't the easiest person to talk to. Especially not like this.

Tis The Season

2007-12-24T10:35:51-08:00

Author: The Illustrious Crackpot
Category: Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends
Language: English, Rated: K
Genres: Friendship/Family
Pairing: Mac & Bloo
Chapters: 1, Words: 3,277, Reviews: 13 Published: 12-24-07
Status: Complete

It's that time of year again, and Bloo's complaining of a lack of snow while Mac is thinking about something a bit more complicated than the existence of a Santa Claus. Happy nondenominational holidays!

Checkmate

2007-11-08T12:19:17-08:00

Author: The Illustrious Crackpot
Category: Powerpuff Girls
Language: English, Rated: K
Genres: General
Pairing: Blossom & Mojo Jojo
Chapters: 1, Words: 1,451, Reviews: 15 Published: 11-8-07
Status: Complete

It was only to be expected that two such intellects would meet in a game of chess, never mind their alignments with good or evil. And, for the duration of a game, perhaps they could forget that they were on opposite sides.

Letter To Phoebe

2007-10-14T06:56:35-08:00

Author: The Illustrious Crackpot
Category: Catcher in the Rye
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: General
Chapters: 1, Words: 866, Reviews: 5 Published: 10-14-07
Status: Complete

[post Catcher, contains spoilers] Holden writes a letter to his sister reflecting on events in his life.

Bittersweet Thorns

2007-10-14T06:55:21-08:00

Author: The Illustrious Crackpot
Category: DarkWing Duck
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Tragedy
Chapters: 1, Words: 1,669, Reviews: 7 Published: 10-14-07
Status: Complete

Sometimes childhood events come back to haunt us. Other times, they determine the patterns of our entire lives.

Some People Just Can't Stand The Wait

2007-09-09T05:23:32-08:00

Author: The Illustrious Crackpot
Category: DarkWing Duck
Language: English, Rated: K
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 2,249, Reviews: 10 Published: 9-9-07
Status: Complete

Yes, it HAD to be that night. And that store, too. Really, who WOULDN'T steal one?

The Adventures of Sherlock Brain

2007-09-08T05:37:51-08:00

Author: The Illustrious Crackpot
Category: Pinky and the Brain
Language: English, Rated: K
Genres: Humor/Mystery
Chapters: 11, Words: 38,105, Reviews: 44 Updated: 9-8-07 Published: 6-30-07
Status: Complete

In order to take over the world, Brain decides to become the greatest detective in history and earn universal adoration. But it'll be hard to pull this off when he has to contend with Pinky, a demented FFN author and other troubles too numerous to list!

Futile Wishes

2007-08-23T06:12:48-08:00

Author: The Illustrious Crackpot
Category: Camp Lazlo
Language: English, Rated: K
Genres: Angst/Suspense
Chapters: 1, Words: 1,307, Reviews: 7 Published: 8-23-07
Status: Complete

I didn't want to love him. It wouldn't be right. But why can't I help watching him, even from afar?

Midnight And A Full Moon

2007-08-18T06:37:34-08:00

Author: The Illustrious Crackpot
Category: Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends
Language: English, Rated: K
Genres: Romance/Humor
Pairing: Mr. Herriman & Madame Foster
Chapters: 1, Words: 1,593, Reviews: 12 Published: 8-18-07
Status: Complete

The bond between Imaginary Friend and Creator is a strange one. For a crazy old woman and her austere rabbit, this bond is stranger than most.

Solve Mysteries With Hercule Yakko!

2007-07-22T06:23:25-08:00

Author: The Illustrious Crackpot
Category: Animaniacs
Language: English, Rated: K
Genres: Humor/Parody
Chapters: 11, Words: 5,308, Reviews: 52 Updated: 7-22-07 Published: 5-14-07
Status: In-Progress

A collection of pointlessly bizarre oneshots of mysteries you can quoteunquote Solve Along With Yakko. Idea from a Woody Allen book.

A Different Line of Work

2007-07-18T06:19:26-08:00

Author: The Illustrious Crackpot
Category: Camp Lazlo
Language: English, Rated: K
Genres: Angst/Friendship
Chapters: 1, Words: 2,126, Reviews: 6 Published: 7-18-07
Status: Complete

Day in and day out, constantly abused for someone else's credit. Is there any payoff? Why does he keep doing it?

Not Your Average Hostage Drama

2007-07-15T03:08:37-08:00

Author: The Illustrious Crackpot
Category: Animaniacs
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Angst/Humor
Chapters: 6, Words: 18,211, Reviews: 63 Updated: 7-15-07 Published: 6-28-07
Status: Complete

Lydeah Hoskins is your everyday psychopathic, angsty teenager who hates toons. But she doesn't know what she's getting into when she decides to kidnap the Warners. [Rating for extremely frequent language, VERY mild innuendos and gun usage.]

You're Not Alone, Charlie Brown

2007-06-27T05:23:54-08:00

Author: The Illustrious Crackpot
Category: Peanuts
Language: English, Rated: K
Genres: Friendship
Chapters: 1, Words: 2,720, Reviews: 13 Published: 6-27-07
Status: Complete

Nobody likes Charlie Brown—that's what he's always thought. But is it really true?

Hanging Off The Balcony

2007-05-14T12:05:40-08:00

Author: The Illustrious Crackpot
Category: Camp Lazlo
Language: English, Rated: K
Genres: General
Chapters: 1, Words: 2,712, Reviews: 13 Published: 5-14-07
Status: Complete

Lazlo pays Patsy a midnight visit with a very important question.

Quality Time TO KILL YOU IN!

2007-04-26T12:11:50-08:00

Author: The Illustrious Crackpot
Category: Camp Lazlo
Language: English, Rated: K
Genres: Humor/Angst
Chapters: 1, Words: 9,437, Reviews: 12 Published: 4-26-07
Status: Complete

While on a hiking trip, Lazlo and Edward get trapped in a cave in. Will the other scouts find them in time? And, more importantly, will Edward manage to avoid killing Lazlo?

Product of a Broken Mind

2007-04-12T09:17:34-08:00

Author: The Illustrious Crackpot
Category: Pinky and the Brain
Language: English, Rated: K
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 2,668, Reviews: 8 Published: 4-12-07
Status: Complete

And still I persist in writing Pinky and the Brain fanfics...the Brain, however, is less than happy. WARNING: bizarre, Camp Lazlo inclusive ending. And, yes, the broken mind is my own.

Fairly Zany Tales

2007-04-04T12:17:20-08:00

Author: The Illustrious Crackpot
Category: Animaniacs
Language: English, Rated: K
Genres: Humor/Parody
Chapters: 4, Words: 16,571, Reviews: 20 Updated: 4-4-07 Published: 10-17-06
Status: In-Progress

A purported collection of Animaney, totally insaney fairy tale parodies which I may or may not add to sporadically.

The Elusive Butterfly

2007-03-31T06:04:18-08:00

Author: The Illustrious Crackpot
Category: Animaniacs
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Romance
Chapters: 7, Words: 12,891, Reviews: 52 Updated: 3-31-07 Published: 3-11-07
Status: Complete

Rita questions exactly how she feels about Runt, and decides to tell him that she's a cat. But things are happening too fast...

What Fools These Shippers Be!

2007-02-11T10:27:13-08:00

Author: The Illustrious Crackpot
Category: Invader Zim
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor/Parody
Pairing: Zim
Chapters: 1, Words: 872, Reviews: 22 Published: 2-11-07
Status: Complete

Please don't hurt me. It's all in good fun.

The Secret Life of GIR

2007-01-02T12:32:36-08:00

Author: The Illustrious Crackpot
Category: Invader Zim
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor
Pairing: Gir
Chapters: 1, Words: 1,859, Reviews: 22 Published: 1-2-07
Status: Complete

See the title if you want a summary. MY 20TH POST AND FIRST POST OF 2007!

There's No Place Like Earth For the Holidays

2006-12-24T18:54:53-08:00

Author: The Illustrious Crackpot
Category: Invader Zim
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor/Adventure
Pairing: Zim
Chapters: 7, Words: 20,711, Reviews: 11 Published: 12-24-06
Status: Complete

Zim tries to take over the world on Christmas Eve, and Dib tries desperately to stop him! Yes, it's a corny Christmas special! It's long, but IT'S THE SEASON OF GIVING! R&R!

To Prove His Spudly Worth

2006-12-21T12:15:18-08:00

Author: The Illustrious Crackpot
Category: Teen Titans
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor
Pairing: Control Freak
Chapters: 6, Words: 13,811, Reviews: 7 Published: 12-21-06
Status: Complete

CROSSOVER CHAOS! Control Freak desperately needs to take over Titans Tower before the end of the day or else he will suffer terrible consequences from a secret society. To help him, he selects two VERY UNLIKELY assistants...

The Ballad of Scrooge McDuck

2006-12-10T11:05:07-08:00

Author: The Illustrious Crackpot
Category: Disney
Language: English, Rated: K
Genres: Poetry
Chapters: 1, Words: 1,062, Reviews: 5 Published: 12-10-06
Status: Complete

Every epic hero needs a ballad. Here's Scrooge's! Apologies to Don Rosa for my deliberate stealing from his work.

Pinky's Blog

2006-11-28T12:02:16-08:00

Author: The Illustrious Crackpot
Category: Pinky and the Brain
Language: English, Rated: K
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 2,192, Reviews: 18 Published: 11-28-06
Status: Complete

Pinky and the Brain's new plot for global domination, as described on Pinky's weblog. Ridiculously short.

To Dib

2006-11-26T11:07:25-08:00

Author: The Illustrious Crackpot
Category: Invader Zim
Language: English, Rated: K
Genres: Humor/Poetry
Pairing: Zim & Dib
Chapters: 1, Words: 774, Reviews: 44 Published: 11-26-06
Status: Complete

Zim takes all his feelings for Dib, humans and Earth in general, smushes them together and comes up with a poem.

Live From the Field

2006-11-21T12:06:28-08:00

Author: The Illustrious Crackpot
Category: Invader Zim
Language: English, Rated: K
Genres: Humor
Pairing: Dib & Zim
Chapters: 5, Words: 4,541, Reviews: 7 Published: 11-21-06
Status: Complete

RELEASED TO THE PUBLIC AT LARGE! The transcripted account of how paranormal amateur Dib and yours truly snuck into an alien's secret base. NO SHIPS, HONEST TO IRK I SWEAR!

Hobbes

2006-10-31T11:51:32-08:00

Author: The Illustrious Crackpot
Category: Calvin & Hobbes
Language: English, Rated: K
Genres: General
Chapters: 1, Words: 732, Reviews: 13 Published: 10-31-06
Status: Complete

A look on Calvin and Hobbes' friendship.

Puddlemere United's Anthem

2006-10-24T12:26:25-08:00

Author: The Illustrious Crackpot
Category: Harry Potter
Language: English, Rated: K
Genres: Poetry/Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 340, Reviews: 7 Published: 10-24-06
Status: Complete

Anyone who has read Quidditch Through the Ages recognizes the name of the song Beat Back Those Bludgers, Boys, and Chuck That Quaffle Here, but after years of sneaking into World Cup games I can finally bring you the lyrics!

The Brain VS the Claw Machine

2006-10-08T11:23:38-08:00

Author: The Illustrious Crackpot
Category: Pinky and the Brain
Language: English, Rated: K
Genres: Humor/Adventure
Chapters: 9, Words: 22,214, Reviews: 14 Published: 10-8-06
Status: Complete

In order for the Brain's new plot to work, he and Pinky must travel to France to secure the most fabulous diamond in the world. However, with a sadistic author like me on their case, things might not end up as planned!

Monty Python's Forcibly Revised Flying Circus

2006-10-01T10:07:18-08:00

Author: The Illustrious Crackpot
Category: Monty Python
Language: English, Rated: T
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 6,635, Reviews: 25 Published: 10-1-06
Status: Complete

Our favorite Pythons have been miraculously restored to their conditions in the 70s and are pitching a new TV show! But can they conform to the decency codes the BBC now enforce?

The Last Tear She'll Have to Shed

2006-09-24T12:42:28-08:00

Author: The Illustrious Crackpot
Category: Corpse Bride
Language: English, Rated: K
Genres: General
Chapters: 1, Words: 2,344, Reviews: 9 Published: 9-24-06
Status: Complete

At the end of the movie, Emily gave up Victor so Victoria could marry him. But how do both women REALLY feel about this?

A Very Muppets Mystery

2006-09-17T10:24:11-08:00

Author: The Illustrious Crackpot
Category: Muppets Tonight
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Mystery/Humor
Chapters: 27, Words: 112,790, Reviews: 20 Updated: 9-17-06 Published: 9-12-06
Status: Complete

Phyllis Pepper is the only human in an all Muppet town. But will things spice up when Fozzie brings her a case that leads swiftly to Muppet homicide? An insanely long and ridiculously complicated mystery.

Who Needs Roger Rabbit?

2006-09-04T11:32:31-08:00

Author: The Illustrious Crackpot
Category: Disney
Language: English, Rated: K
Genres: Humor/Drama
Chapters: 1, Words: 16,441, Reviews: 17 Published: 9-4-06
Status: Complete

The story of Roger's adopted daughter trying to cope in the human world when she's been raised to understand toons.

The Spiders

2006-09-04T11:30:34-08:00

Author: The Illustrious Crackpot
Category: Legend of Zelda
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: General/Horror
Pairing: Link
Chapters: 1, Words: 718, Reviews: 4 Published: 9-4-06
Status: Complete

A oneshot attempt at a LOZ horror story, taking place during Ocarina of Time.

Hermione's Summer Adventure

2006-09-02T06:07:14-08:00

Author: The Illustrious Crackpot
Category: Harry Potter
Language: English, Rated: K
Genres: Fantasy/Adventure
Pairing: Hermione G.
Chapters: 1, Words: 2,327, Reviews: 2 Published: 9-2-06
Status: Complete

What exactly DID Hermione do during the summer between her first and second years? A short story that looked a little bit longer on looseleaf.

Foz: Behind the Bear

2006-08-22T11:08:21-08:00

Author: The Illustrious Crackpot
Category: Muppets Tonight
Language: English, Rated: K
Genres: Humor
Chapters: 1, Words: 2,994, Reviews: 4 Published: 8-22-06
Status: Complete

A mockumentary of how our favorite joketelling bear rose to stardom.

Origins of Marv

2006-08-22T11:06:50-08:00

Author: The Illustrious Crackpot
Category: Looney Tunes
Language: English, Rated: K
Genres: Humor/Sci-Fi
Chapters: 1, Words: 1,966, Reviews: 8 Published: 8-22-06
Status: Complete

Marvin the Martian fans rejoice: released to the public for the first time ever is the story of how Chuck Jones came up with such a unique character!

Journeys of a Space Cadet

2006-08-20T11:50:57-08:00

Author: The Illustrious Crackpot
Category: Looney Tunes
Language: English, Rated: K+
Genres: Humor/Sci-Fi
Chapters: 1, Words: 8,841, Reviews: 4 Published: 8-20-06
Status: Complete

DUCK DODGERS Ever wondered why Earth and Mars share evaporation technology? Why Dodgers and the cadet are the only animals? Join draftee Harrison as he enters the world of the 24th and a half century.