Beta Bio: general description as a beta reader
So. Luckily for all you beta-finding hopefuls, I basically live for the internet and literature. Put the two together and a vortex may form, sucking in the entire world and throwing us all into another dimension.
... Anyway.
I've never been an "official" beta, but I've been revising my friend's stories for a good while. RenaYumi - she's amazing, so I suggest you check out her profile and delve into some of her stories – started me out, and I’m now offering my services to authors worldwide. RenaYumi is pretty incredible, and also happens to be one of my best friends. But hey, just because I've never spoken with someone or heard of them doesn't mean I won't gladly beta their work. So long as I know the fandom, I'll be all over your story like maple syrup on a fresh stack of pancakes.
Did I make any of you hungry? Because now I’m famished, and before I continue this, I’m going to get myself a nice bag of potato chips along with a frozen coke, also known as a slurpee or slushie, depending on where you live.
Another thing about my beta style – I’m not afraid to make up words. "Spifferiffic" and "froofy" are a few of my favorites, the latter of which was produced from the wonderful (and sometimes disturbed) mind of RenaYumi. As long as it adds color to the story and makes some sort of sense, I’m all for adding it to my Word dictionary, possibly for later use by myself or the author who thought of it. I don’t think of it as bad grammar; I think of it as creative license. We all need a little bit of that, yea? |
My Strengths: beta, writing, or reading strengths
Grammar. Plain and simple, I’m a stickler for grammar. Punctuation, capitalization, word-choice, etc. are all areas I adore. When it comes to content I’m decent at coming up with ideas, but my expertise is as an editor in general. Actually, it’s almost become a bad habit at this point; going around correcting your teachers does not make you look clever. And correcting your mother of all people is basically a death wish, but we won’t go there.
I’m sure if you asked RenaYumi her opinion, she would tell you a boatload of things wrong with me. But then I would have to give her a muzzle and threaten to take away her magical purple pen. And you don’t want that, do you?
... Oh wait, she gave me a list. I do so love my RenaYumi. These are direct quotes, mind you.
1. She nags.
2. She picks apart your grammar and descriptions, asking questions about everything.
3. She makes fun of metaphors, unless she had a hand in making them.
4. She’s not very good at love scenes and kind of ignores them.
5. She has no heart, which is why she’s bad at love scenes.
6. She’ll keep you up until three A.M.
7. She’ll yell at you a lot if you’re late for a deadline.
8. Her excuse for yelling is that the readers will tear you limb-from-limb if you don’t update on time. Which is true, but that’s beside the point.
9. She’ll roll her eyes at you and scoff when you don’t add an adjective where there "should" be one.
10. She uses a bright red pen on hard drafts. Red is bad for your self-esteem. Cruel woman.
Those are lies, of course. Most of them. Maybe two-thirds of them are true. But those are all things a beta is supposed to do, yea? Moving on... |
My Weaknesses: beta, writing, or reading weaknesses
I’d love to just leave this space blank, but honestly, then I’d be lying to the masses and probably wake up one day to a load of hate-mail. Weaknesses, hm? For starters, I’ve been known to procrastinate. And by procrastinate I mean, "I tend to wait until my deadline that happens to be at three in the morning on a Saturday night before I send pieces back to their authors." But wheedle me about it, and it will get done. I swear on... well, I can’t swear on my mother’s grave because – thankfully – she’s still alive and kicking. But I can swear on the grave of my dog, Brandy, who died at the ripe old age of nine. I loved Brandy, and swearing on her little doggy grave means that I’m serious. Also, I’ll give you my Girl Scout Honor. Yes, I was a Girl Scout, and yes, I wore one of those sashes. Don’t hate me because I’m a do-gooder.
Other than that, I’d have to say that the only downside about myself I can think of is that I nag. And I’m a total hypocrite when I do it. I’ll tell an author – RenaYumi, for example – to get a piece to my by a certain time. I will remind her every two hours, even if it’s not the deadline day, until she sends it to me. This can go on well into the night, unless either my attention wanders or I pass out in my computer chair. Both have been known to happen, sometimes simultaneously. |
Preferred: types of entries I prefer over others
Honestly, I’m not picky at all about what stories I beta. As mentioned before, if I know the fandom, I’ll gladly sift through whatever you undoubtedly spent hours slaving over, pointing out plot holes and grammatical errors with a cheery grin. You likely won’t be able to see said cheery grin, but I can almost guarantee that it’ll be there on my face, stretching from ear to ear as if I’d just found out that I’m having free filet mignon for dinner. Which I really don’t like all that much, but the point is that it’s expensive, and not having to pay for it would be a gift in itself. |
Would Rather Not: types of entries I do not want to beta for
I don’t think there’s really anything I won’t beta. If it’s a question of rating, I can almost guarantee that anything you write won’t be something I haven’t heard about at Band Camp. If it’s a question of "oh wow, my grammar is so embarrassing," don’t worry about that, either. Contrary to what RenaYumi said in that list, I will not openly laugh at you or your grammar, especially if you are new to the site or English is not your first language. For future reference, I speak limited Spanish – as in, I’m currently in Spanish II at my high school. But I do have a nifty supply of Spanish-, German-, and French-English dictionaries lying around my house, should any barriers of that sort arise.
I will not be accepting long-term beta positions at the moment. Only one-shots and stories with relatively short chapters will be accepted. "Short chapters" are 1,200 to 1,400 words or less. |
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