oo this is a really kewl story. you know what? ignore all those stupid Mary-Sue haters. Did you know that Mary-Sues really don't even exist? Seriously. A Mary-Sue represents the author's idea of an ideal character. Someone else's idea of an ideal character might not be your idea. And you're right. though the concept is pretty much the same, this is not Tolkien's story...it's yours. so feel free to do whatever you want with it.
Personally, i think this is an AWESOME story. i really hope you decide to continue. people out there LIKE this, and the ones that do have said so in their reviews. the ones who don't like it are extremely picky and obsessed, or they're just plain idiots. sorry if i sound mean, but that's the truth! ;)
Can't wait to see more of this mysterious tale! keep up the good work!
luv always,
LilyClairePotter

This is Seiko, just so you know. But I like where this is going. Legolas is by far my favorite character, and you have incorporated this new character into the story better than I've seen in Mary Sues. Therefore this is not a Mary Sue. ^^ But that's just me. Keep going!

Beautful story. Please write more. You have real talent, and I will forever hate you if you leave me hanging here.

And thank you for being one of those people who don't think they have to write like Tolkien (did I spell that write? His name gives me so much trouble...) in order to write a fanfiction about Lord of the Rings. They annoy me.

So keep up the great work, hun!

lovely, lovely. Would like to see more. The plot is interesting, though the characters a bit predictable and dry. Oh and in the first chapter "confusion" is misspelled.

luv from the goddess
PS- a return review would be very much appreciated :D

oooh i like!
please write more soon!

This is a Mary Sue? Hmm, as far as I've ever heard... Mary Sue fell in love with Legolas within the first two chapters. She also was totally perfect, but from what I've read, this girl is not. She has her flaws, as much as the rest of them do. They just have to be read into her to find them.

I have also read many many Mary Sues, and as far as I'm concerned, this one is not it. I can see many chapters coming from this story in due time. I would really love to figure out what happens to her. So far she has not yet joined the Fellowship, even if she does... they might ask her to turn back. She has already shown she is afraid of joining them, even though she wants so badly to prove herself.

Looks to me like Elrond is somewhat prejudice of women joining into anything. Sounds like something expected at that time. Throughout the whole movie and books you hardly ever hear of a women doing much of anything. Sure Galadriel was Queen of Lothlorien, but she also had a King that ruled over her. Arwen had hardly anything at all she did in the book, and just a little more in the movie. I believe that Alithial is trying her hardest to prove to Men of these times, that women can be who they want to be, and can do it just as well as Man can.

I await the next chapter with patience. *sits on end of chair*

Oh, and to the previous posts I've read on here before making mine. I don't know what you have all been reading, but I have not found vary many stories on FF.net worth reading at all. Most are just repeats of each other, or people from our world falling into theirs. They get boring to read, since they are almost always the same. Alot of the other stories I have read on here are all about Legolas, yes and they ARE Mary Sue's. I have read quite a few stories and considered them quite unusual and unique, but people are still reviewing them to being MS's.

I think alot of people these days, who do that to stories are just jealous that they cant write. Heck alot of the people here that do review like that, almost always have no stories posted here themselves. What a coinkidink!

Yeah I know, I don't have a profile here, because I don't visit that often, but when I do, I leave honest opinions to the stories and some about a few of the other reviews too. *grins* I don't write, I'm not good at writing, but you don't see me going around and telling people with so-so stories or even slightly-good stories that they are Mary Sues just because its another Legolas falls in love with someone story. Everyone has their own dreams and imagination! What is it to us to smash them down. So they wrote another MARY SUE! Who cares, doesnt mean we have to make them stop writing about their dreams just becouse one person doesn't like it.

Aught to know that if you don't like a story, at least try to write more then...yep, its another Mary Sue... Try to write something intelligent...such as a more longer, more informative review..something that will help the writer..to be not..soo...MAary Sueish in the future. What you write in your review, is the tool for them in the future. *grins* I like saying that. But it's true. Give retarded reviews and you will get no effect to your cause. If you give intelligent reviews, you will most likely get what you are hoping for.

Well before I write another book long review, I supposed I've said my piece about this Mary Sue basher *points down*

So you wrote a Mary-Sue..... Ah well, not the worst I've ever read.

I could care less about Mary Sues. As long as it is well written. Good chapter

How can you say this isn't a Mary Sue?
Everyone likes her,
She's beautiful,
And she's well trained in magic and fighting.
That's a Mary Sue if I've ever read one.

I have nothing against Mary Sues, though.
It's quite good so far and I look forward to reading more.

This looks very interesting, I look forward to reading more

Your character, Alithial is very charming. What is the secret she keeps that would add “confusion” to the quest? Very intriguing! I hope Legolas finds out what the mystery is.

I too, held my breath when she had her encounter with Legolas in the hallway! Wow! Don’t we all wish that would happen to each of us! ;)

Since you invited me to read this and tell you what I think, that’s what I’ll do. In your review of my story, you mentioned that you have trouble with spelling. Welcome to the club!!! :D I think many of us would not survive without our spellcheckers. I don’t know what program you’re creating your stories in, but most of them have spell checkers. It is a great help! Don’t hesitate to use it. :)

I did notice one thing that made the story a little confusing. When a new person begins speaking, that should be the start of a new paragraph. Of course, that might not have been your fault. I’ve noticed that some of my “return” commands disappear once I post to ff.net and it will run the sentences all together. Very frustrating. I’m not sure why it does that, but I’m learning to always double space when I want to start a new paragraph.

Something that is very helpful, is reading your story out loud. If you feel that it doesn’t “flow” well, reading it aloud to yourself will help you to catch those “rough” spots. And don’t hesitate to re-write. Each of my chapters is written 4 to 5 times before I send it to my beta reader. Then it usually gets another re-write after she sends it back. (Chapter 16 of “Goblet” is an exception. That was re-written 8 times and was sent to my beta 2or 3 times. *sigh* That was a belrog of a chapter!)

And consider a beta reader. If you have any friends who seem exceptionally articulate, have them read your stories before you post and point out what they like and what needs improving. If none of your friends want to do it, post a request with your next chapter and maybe someone will volunteer.

You have a very good sense of balance in your story. You do a good job of balancing conversation with description and character interaction with contemplation. You’ve created an interesting character with a hint of mystery about her. The plot moves fluidly. I think you’ve got talent for story telling. Keep at it!

Read as much as you can! And when you sit down to write, put your favorite book beside you and compare how your paragraphs are formed and then how their paragraphs are formed. Compare conversation techniques. I’m not suggesting that you copy the book, but I’m sure you know what I mean. Use fiction as a teaching tool for yourself. Its much more fun than grammar class! :D

If you’d like a recommendation, try Robin McKinley. Her stories flow beautifully and she has a very “personable” way of writing, as if she is right there talking to you. Her book “Beauty: A retelling of Beauty and the Beast” is especially wonderful. It is easy to read and very absorbing. Its an old book, but very popular. Your local library probably has it.

I hope this helps! :D Thank you for all the reviews you’ve given me. I really do treasure them. And to answer your questions: I post on Friday mornings and “Goblet” will be about 28 chapters long. We’ve still got a lot more adventure to go. And, there will be five stories in the Legolas/Alede adventures by the time I am done.

Thanks and good luck!