A great story. Very good.

This was cute. I really liked it.

Wow... I must admit that these thoughts have crossed my mind more than once. Is it right to take a child away from his family, even if when the intentions are as good as they are. I must say that even after I've read this story, I will alow myself some doubt, cause I do not know, and perhaps I never will, but I will keep thinking about it...

May the Force be with you...

I really like this story. I like how it makes Obi-Wan think about his life and it asks some interesting questions about the Jedi Order. Good Job. Keep Writing

Your story was excelent well thought and well paced. I enjoyed it. I thought the best part was where Qui- Gon left Obi_wan to talk to the Ambasador. Qui- gon knew it would be up to obi to convence her. And you showed his love and trust for his Padawan in a very subtle yet believable way. Good job.

velvet

I like the way you let the burden of the mission rest on Obi-Wan's shoulders, and that Sieyan made her decision based on how Obi-Wan was coping with the Temple - his relationships with his former caregivers and Qui-Gon as well as the interview with him.

What I think could be improved upon is detail - you could show us more of what's happening. Instead of just saying that Obi-Wan talked with his creche master, actually have their conversation - details like that. Also, it would have been nice to know more about the infant's family - all you say is that they take a day to decide to send their child to the Order. Are they reluctant? How do Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon talk them around? How do they act when Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon take their child away?

Also, you just say that the Zindian child became a "great Jedi Knight." Perhaps you could list a couple of his accomplishments instead - was he one of the top lightsaber duelists in the Order, or did he draw up a treaty to a generations-long war after other Jedi had failed?

But all in all, a very enjoyable story.