Wonderfully sad.

I enjoyed this story - it's well written and compelling. Thanks!!

Good story!

Perfect. Everything I could have wanted from an Alec-piece.

Really Good story!! I LOVE it!

Nice fic! I really liked it! I think you write really good!

A very interesting take on things. I'm not quite sure what I make of it yet... It was well written and I liked the detail with which you descibe Crash and the movements of the people within the bar. And the conversation was exscuisite. Very spot-on for the characters.

It must be my night for reading through your stories! But you have many and I have to take a break to write my own so this is the last one for the night!

I love this part of the story sooo much...

{{In those first few weeks, Alec recognized dozens of familiar faces and forms in crowds. He never searches them out but can't help see secrets betrayed in a hundred small ways. It is in posture and voice and expression; it is Alec's memory of the angle of someone's jaw, the shape of a head, the narrowness of hips. Alec wonders whether Manticore is still visible beneath his swagger; whether his past is revealed in the crook of his arms or the length of his spine.

There's something in him for the others to find, Alec knows. When he couldn't leave his apartment without finding fragments of himself on the streets, they had pretended not to know each other. They had trained and fought and suffered together and Alec hadn't wanted to remember any of it. Most of them are gone, now--captured or dead--he doesn't know and usually manages to believe that he doesn't care. }}

I love that! It has to be two of the most hauntingly beautiful paragraph's I've read yet! It's truely inspirational! I love your writing!!

I agree with Fin Tuscany's observation that your stories are written "around the edges"--however, I don't think that's at all a bad thing.

Because your stories are character-centric, the physical action is far, far less important than the emotional development or the illustration of a character's essential nature. It's the difference between plot and theme; personally, I've always been more attracted to theme than to plot --I believe a story with a strong theme resonates more deeply, stays with the reader for a far longer time, and is more likely to draw the reader back to the same story or to others from the author.

Frequently, this writing around the edges is also a reflection of the characters' own hesitation to admit, to others or to themselves, the emotion or trait that the story highlights. In several previous stories, for instance, your Zack has spent considerable mental energy denying his helplessness in various situation--attempts to save various X5s from their own foolishness or insanity; attempts to stifle his selfish impulses or his vulnerable, emotional side; attempts to beat truly impossible odds to continue his role as protector.

This story is another good example of your indirect style emphasizing your theme. Here, Alec envies the familial devotion Max has to her unit--but, as a "happy-go-lucky sociopath," he surely would rather think of himself as not caring. He is so unwilling to make the admission of his emotions that he doesn't even think of them consciously at the start. In fact, he might never come to the realization in the story; maybe the reader, who can view the situation with more objectivity, is the only one who knows.


--Pooh_Bah (Geek of Literary-Criticism)

wow. this was great. i loved it. it was really amazing. if you wrote this with writers block then im gonna read the stories you have.

So great to see you back in this category. Amazing atmosphere and movement with the undercurrent of darkness lapping away insidiously. Wonderful insights into Alec, especially those shown through his perceptions of Max. "She's bastardized perfection and her blindness makes Alec's patience fray." That one line says more about this character than the entire Season 2 ever did.

Hope you'll be writing more DA, even if it is to cure writers block. Hot Blood Rush still gives me the chills.

I was glad to see you back on the boards. I really enjoy your work. I think your writing is stylish and that you have a unique voice.
I do think that you have a tendency to write around the edges of your stories, rather than right through the middle. There are times when I'm reading your writing that I wish you would be less oblique, and this is one of those times. I don't know that I get what this story is about. I'm not sure that I think it's about anything, actually. But there are some fine moments, some neat turns of phrase, and aspects of this that are admirable. Thanks for writing it, and I hope you'll post more work soon.

WOWEE! i love your work (A LOT) and this was AWESOME!!!!!!!!! Perfection, i tell you! Perfection! Hope that nasty writer's block goes away! (even tho you couldn't tell it's there in this masterpiece! ^_^)

Come on man. Don't end it, update it. Its too good to let go. Please don't let it go. You are good at this. It was great.