Awesome. Awesome story. I was hooked to the bitter end. Magnificently done.

Nice, overall - but I admit a prejudice to werewolf stories. Good mechanics, reasonably tight plot, solid characterizations. Maybe a little more telling than showing in the prose, but that's a personal preference. I rather liked that in order to stop the Zmei, the innocent girl had to die anyway... yay for tough choices, moral conundrums, and a shot of tragedy.

And it's nice to see Garou tribes working together, much as WW would like to paint them all as rabidly and factional.

Okay Mike, my other approved author on this site, not bad at all. It was nice to come back and find that some of these stories actually do seem to -end- after a while. I felt the Zmei was extreme to have happen, it might have been less crazy just to use a mega powerful spirit. But all in all it didn't upset me. I agree with Thor concerning the grammer errors and whatnot, didn't expect that from you. Luckily the fun story made me forget them, nice work.

The finish was pretty well done and...aw heck, what can I say? Go Bickle! Go Callow! Wheeeee! Well, now that I have that out of my system. A nice solid end to the story. You did a decent job with the Zmei (I myself have a good ol' 2nd edition Rage Across Russia, and can say you at least didn't downplay their power) It's sad to say, but I almost didn't find as much resolution in this story as I would have liked. Probably I'm just too big into heroic sacrifices and death for my own good. But one does trust their will be further stories of the Spiral pack (you can toss in Alexi too if you must) as I feel their tales are not quite finished. All in all a fun read, well worth the time I spent on it. Kudos, applause, flower tossing, fat ladies, ect.

Okay, that plot's picking up now! Wolf meets girl, Wolf looses girl, Wolf kidnaps girl and tries to destroy the world. The classic tale of love. I also really love how evil the good guys are in this world especially Alexi. Max vaguely annoys me, but Callow has just shot to the top of my list of favourite bad guys. This story seems a bit cliched in places- like Max's flirting, or the cop's bluster when Alexi blackmails him, but it has flashes of great humour in it and doesn't seem to take itself too seriously as you said. I can even follow it though I'd never heard of White Wolf until this review. Callow for pack leader!

And onward merrily goes the madness. Also onward goes the slightly rushed feel of things. SIlly stuff like Brooke writing in agony on the altar. Now I, as an writer of a sort, do amidt that pain can be written up quite eloquently...but wouldn't it be better if she just writhed? (AT least unless you plan to let us rad her writings at some point. "Argggh, there's a hand down my throat...it *hurts* and stuff.") Also pay note to this sentance -The galliard through the trap with a howl of pain, but Alex had already cleared Brooke and the makeshift altar, his glass klaive leading the way as he bore down on the mage.- Not only is it a bit of a run on, but there is no verb for what the galliard is doing, and didn't Alexi's blade used to be obsidian? Which, if I'm not mistaking, is a type of stone, not glass. Could be me though, I better recheck that first chapter. Also in the fight Jack and Gerald are said to be attacking Spook and Bickle, but suddenly Gerald is attacking Callow. Of course it's still an entertaining battle, but little errors like this tend to annoy the bejeezus out of me. I was a little shocked at how suddenly Nigel bought it, but I think it worked out well. (yay for the kin and all that) On the plus side everything else was well written and planned out for dramatic impact. (And may I add. A Zmei? Holy twisted dragons Batman! I at least hope its apperance allows Callow to win the day.) Only two chapters left, I'll just *have* to read them now. Ooooh, cliffhangers and all that, who woulda thunk it?

Ah, Thor is back and has brought forth the wrath of the ancient gods upon your writing. ::raises hands, small sparks fizzle and the pop out around his fingers. Looks around sheepishly.:: Well...I'll at least give this now finished story a good once over as I read through the chapters. Yeah! Okay, first off, when Matt and Max are using the spirit to track Brooke at one point Matt says "If it hear you..." I'm sure I don't need to give you any speeches on the dangers of mixing up past and present tenses in a piece. This chapter contains a few minor errors, actually, like "life force to manifest in htre spirit world?" It feels to me like you started worrying about getting stuff out, and did a bit of a rush job on proofing the piece for errors. I was shocked to see something a spell check should have picked up in one of your works. Obviouslly without *me* (and my ego) to keep an eye on you, you started to slip. A short chapter that works as a set-up for things to come. I'll start reading the next one and see if the anticipated fireworks commence. (Though I'm already sure that since I said I liked Callow and Bickle that both of them are sure to die horribly...you cruel killer of Thor's favored characters you.)

*Clap Clap* U completed it :) Thank you for another great story, and il be waiting for the next one! Ps. New Robin Hobbs book out in january :) Just wanted to give u a sure bet ;)

Since when did we lose the battle? *boggle* I must be terribly behind...should probably get around to reading 3rd edition.

I must admit, that was a rather abrupt end to Brooke, poor girl. If it were up to me, I'd have found some way for Max to rescue her, but that's just the mushy, romantic side of me speaking. On the other hand, the fight with the Zmei was top notch. (I'm not to familier with Zmeii either, so can't say much about that...)

It was a good ending to a great story...and if you ever get around to doing a sequel or whatnot, that'd be great too.

*blinkblink* Definite ball bearings my man...I have to give you credit for this one. Zmei..in America..wow. This is gonna be hard for Alexei and company to deal with. I can't wait for more. ::grins::

With only one real continuity complaint (jagged shards of silver become glass blades as Tanya staggers to the kinfolk's side), I think we call call this chapter a success.

I still flinch every time I hear the word, kinfolk... it makes the werewolves sound like rednecked hicks.

VERY NICE! I had been itchin for a good fight scene, and even thou this one was a bit too simple (it needs more details in my opinion) it was big and bloody :) Very nice "mystic" elements too. But i really want you to write more Vampire stories, i just like em more :) Oh and when u become a firefighter (yes, when) you get alot of spare time (waiting fer fires and shite :) dont you? You wouldnt happen to own a laptop would you ;)?

Just as nice and clean as always, mike :) A little long wait thou... Think we can persuade u to drop out of Firefighter school for the better of mankind ;)? Oh well i guess we'l just have to wait, wont we? Oh and btw have u heard anything from Nevermore? I can never run out of good WW stories ;)

This is very nice. I'm too sleepy to think of anything interesting or witty to say. Xaxier needs to beat the hell out of Spook, tho.

Hey mike we are wa-i-i-i-i-i-i-iting for more... Hurry up dude its not like u have a life to care about ;)