I surfed in from twisting. I see much of the concept in your story, but it is very choppy and in some places the story is difficult to follow. You could probably use a little more description, five sense information, and exposition overall. Let me know if you want me to guess your age based on your style.

Oh more please? Intrigued about this darkness lightness thing.

I really liked this story and the concept. Can't wait to read more and find out what the legend is all about.

Hey,
I must say that I'm super excited that you updated! Even though it was a short chapter, it was good. I can't wait for your next chapter, I just hope I don't have to wait that long. Keep up the great writing!

JuJuBee

This is a really great story. The concept is very interesting. You should continue. I would like to see how everything works out.

great chapter, i can't wait for the rest! Merry Christmas, or Happy holidays(if you don't celebrate Christmas)
~*Julz*~

i love your story, its a interesting consept. are you going to tie the whole legand together soon?great story, i cant wait for you to update!

very nice you can do so much this story. I absolutly love it. Could some more background on the whole legend/myth thing? lol

I really like this story, it's different! I'm confused but I'm sure that I will be less confused when you write more! I can't wait for the next chapter!
~*Julz*~

Very good nice with the exposition please keep this one up I am enjoying it you have a wonderful concept to be gin with