really good but gory. also i am confused about the sprite. i know in the first booky that artemis talked with that fairy/sprite lady but he gave somthing that would drain all the toxins from her body not kill her? still it was a really good read and somthing different but still woulndt let me out my computer down.

I like the story, but I don't really understand the motive of the scientists. Why bring in a group of kids who could potentially unearth their scheme and turn them in to the police? If they needed brains, why not kidnap one very smart person instead of taking a group of people, not to mention informing everyone where they shall be. Not very secretive.


Your story is good, and I think your writing has a lot of potential, especially for a thirteen year old. Stick with it, and you could end up writing some great stories.


PS Sorry if my reviews seem flame-y at times - it's a sign that your story has caught my attention and that i am reading every detail. (Or at least it is in most cases. There were a few times I have been so disappointed that I've written reviews a page long stating all the flaws that I've noticed just in the first chapter. However, this is not one of those stories. if it were, I would stop by the first chapter)

I don't like Lauren. She's to cheerful and perky.

If the scientists are going under the pretense of wanting to test Brittans best and brightest, shouldn't they do more tests and giv the Kids something other to do in thier spare time other that watching TV?

No! If you kill Artemis, I will be forced to haunt you for all of eternity!

Buahahahaha... I wonder if Artemis will share his deuctions with anyone else. By the way, when does this take place?

Aha! A plot device!

Please don't make Lauren a Mary Sue who slowy warms Artemis' heart and becomes one of his true freinds... And possily more. I am not a fan of cheesyness.

I hope to see how this will turn out!

I am praying that the OC's don't turn into Mary Sues.

eh... the story started out pretty decent, but to be honest, I was disapointed. At first, I thought that perhaps for the so-called 'experiment', the scientists where throwing the kids into a murder scene to see what they would do, and observe there reactions. I was dissapointed that the plot didn't run nearly as deep as that, and was just an i'm-out-to-get-you story with little plot. Sorry, but that's how I see it, although parts of it were well written. However, it could have done with... fuller chapters. They seemed a bit bare, really. Even though there were ten chapters, I feel as if i barely read anything.

OKay first of all, i really like your story its very well written. I am only on chapter 2 now but i must point something out. You have said "the brightest in Britain" yet Artemis is Irish. Ireland is not in Britain and it is a republic. Even before Ireland won its idependance from Britain it was always called the kingdom of Britain and Ireland.

hey
i like the story so far
its a welcome break from homework and the crappy writings of some others
=)

Casey.

P.S
i, like you, hate Romances
AF is not a romantic person lol

Hm, pretty good. I think Artemis would likely have done some background checks on the place before he had arrived, but ignoring that, it is a very interesting story. Good job.

I must say, for the 5 most clever children in Britain, they aren't acting quite as intelligent as they ought to in this situation. I could think of a few important mistakes they made that even I wouldn't have.

Still, in a dying fandom, this is a good story.

*gapes* You killed all the innocent people! How... how sad! O_o;

... Well, except for the invalid... And that was nice, I guess. Who would have the heart to kill the handicapped one? ^^;

I really liked how you made the characters so imperfect, so normal. Especially effective with Sarah's "But I don't want to die" thoughts. It made her death all the more unbelievable.

Oh... I also liked how you tied all this back to the faeries. The "jagged iris" foreshadowing was a nice touch... I caught it, but foreshadowing usually zips over me... *is feeling proud* :P

And finally... It's rare to see such a dark AF fic without any sign of romance or the main faeries. With that fact in mind, I really liked your execution. It's gotta be pretty hard to have readers comprehend all that information in such a short time, but you compressed it all very nicely.

O My Gosh! That omg...is wow...i cant believe it ...its one of the best and scariest stories that i have ever read...but how can just a skim on Artemis's shoulder cause him to lose so much blood?