You should finish this story. because i would like to know more about Jesse's half-sister.

love it so fair please let me no when the next chap is up sweetmonkies2003@yahoo.com

who gets a sister i need to no if im going to read it please email me thanks,
shelly

Hello!

I think your story has a good basic plot outline, but there are a couple of small details. Firstly there is no way that a sixteen year old would be allowed to accompany them to a murder scene just like that. Also I don't think Mark as a responsible adult and doctor would let a child stay at his house without at least trying to contact her mother to let her know the child was safe.

Don't let this knock ya down, as the story is very nicely written, just try to keep the story plausible, and it could be even better. You have demonstarted in 'Unloved' what a brilliant writer you can be!!

Kind regards and keep writing

ok, now i have read all there is of the fic, and i still say that here is a writer with huge potential. and by the way, "Dante", darling, i am an adult, studying law, and, not to boast, but have been told i am a good writer myself for my fanfiction, my original fiction and my non fiction work. you want to call me "childish following" of this author? want to call my work "dross"? i am proud to call myself fan this work. i pity you for your insecurity and need to take your own inadequacies out on others you perceive as threats. i hope you can find it in what's left of your soul to apologise to C.T.Torres, who i see a glowing future for.

to be honest i haven't read all of this fic yet, but i read the reviews as i usually do before reading a fic and this is for "Dante". Grow. Up. You're pathetic. I have read the other fics by this author on ff.net, and in my opinion both as a writer and a beta, there is tremendous talent here. I agree with the statement that you are a coward and a small minded fool. You claim to not wish your nme to be associated with this site for "childish" fiction...so why exactly are you here if not to read it? Why not give us your name and some of your published work, coward, so we can judge you how you dare to judge others. Or do you only sit in your throne over others like the demons i create in my works? so believing in your own superiority like the dicators of history. Well, i've always believed that the higher one sticks their own arse, the harder it gets kicked when it falls. As for C.T.Torris, for what it's worth i love your work, please don't let insecure idiots like that get in your way of great success. i look forward to future chapters.

Who care what you think Dante! Keep writing everyone!!! It is only for fun!

I am a published writer and so I know good fiction when I read it. This is most certainly NOT good fiction. I am no "chicken" as you so eloquently put it, I just do not want my name associated with this site. There are some good stories here, but the dross far outweighs the quality. And as for your "following" are any of them out of adolescence yet? There should be a site for children's writing, so that you no longer sully what used to be a source of good fiction.

No I'm sorry CT, but while I can sit by and read most things and prefer to keep my own counsel I have to take issue with your grandiose statement that you have a "following". You don't.

What you DO have is a bunch of your friends posting trite and sycophantic messages that offer nothing in the way of constructive criticism.

This is to Dante, since he or she is too damned chicken to post his or her e-mail address on the review... I don't use fanfic.net as a message board,I use it as an outlet for creativity. And since I don't know who you are, I'll assume that you a) don't write, b) can't write, or c) all of the above, and if you do write, you mustn't get a following. I do. It has been almost 3 weeks since I posted the last chapter, and I felt it was my DUTY to update everyone why I hadn't been posting. If you take time to read other stories, you'll find the same.

Thank you, and have a nice day.

This is a page for fiction. It is not a message board. Stick to your "stories" and PLEASE review before you post. You've got no excuse, the option is right here at fanfiction.net.

This is such a great story. I think that you are doing an amazing job with it.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOo....I'm liking it so far! It's great, fantastic, magnificint (is that spelled right?)or...or...better yet...in the words of the show where I got my first name (uh...Corky that is to say) "It's great, it's terrific, it's the best show on Earth!" OoOoOkkk...maybe you guys are a little to young to remember "Circus Boy". Check it out some time, it was really a great show back in the....uh....50's. Yeah anyways! I LOVE IT SO FAR!!!!!!!! Please keep up the good work and write more soon!!!!! PWEAZE?!?!?!??!?!?!
,':O)

OOOOOO....GOOD CHAPPY! GOOD GOOD CHAPPY!!! WRITE MORE SOON!!

OoOoOoOoOoO...*dum dum dum* talk about a cliffhanger! C'mon! Write more!! It's goooood!