Wow. I'd just like to compliment your amazing writing skills and your vivid imagination: it all comes together in your stories which are filled with enchanting characters, mesmerizing plots, and wonderful, realistic dialogue.

I'm especially impressed that you've accomplished all of this for the Dark Materials Fandom (still young and undeveloped) with little praise or feedback, something that many other authors need for motivation. I applaud you for your excellent sequence of stories which, I believe, will direct this fandom as a paradigm of excellence for years to come.

After reading your stories, and mulling over your original ideas, I myself have been motivated to, perhaps, attempt my own story.

I hope that you will continue writing, wherever you are in life. I'm a pretty big fan of your work and just want to thank you for all of the hard work and effort you put into it. It's been an exhilirating and entertaining read.

Best of luck to you in your future writing endeavers!


-Lyndon Eye

this is getting good...

I've really been enjoying your story so far! Your conception of Lyra is so interesting - it seems the wild girl of Jordan College has settled down. ;) just a thought, if you're considering editing your story. last chapter, you might want to change the "spiritual advisor" to "father confessor" as that's a more old-fashioned term, with more character. (other sounds a bit antiseptic!)
*
you also might consider changing that part with the two unnamed people - it's all right to have a few fragments here and there, but more than two or three in a row just sounds disjointed.

looking forward to reading more!

Wow . . . yet again, I'm amazed with your originality (very needed in HDM)! Your stories are never the usual HDM sap. You're my favorite author in the fandom!

What should I say? Great, as usual.

I'd like to make a remark about your afterword. You wrote:
"I’ve always thought that the alethiometer, although it’s a really neat idea, is a bit of a plot-killer"

I had never thought of that before. But you are absolutely right. In fact, I never liked oracles in fictitious stories because as you have explained correctly they express the author's intention in a story and take the "free will" from the characters (what is one of the most important elements of fiction).
There is one important exception that can make an oracle a powerful plot element: a false (or misunderstood) prediction or a prophecy the character tries to flee from like there is often in Greek drama (eg. in Oedipos).
I haven't read a story so far where the alethiometre plays this role. Would be interesting, wouldn't it? Well, just an idea.

Hmm. Ending feels a bit rushed, and I was hoping we'd get to see a scene where Lyra tells the King about her adventures as a child. So close, so close.

As an addendum, I don't nec. agree that Lworld is the way it is because the Reformation didn't occur. Rather, I believe the Reformation did occur, just it 'fixed' the Catholic church, rather than becoming a seperate branch of Christianty. But on second though, maybe that's not what you were implying after all.

I liked it, though.

I'm reading; little confused as to who Alan was. I suspect I'll have to re-read, but I don't remember him. This chapter seemed kind of like a holding place, really--not much happening except that Alan bites the big one, and goes to the land of the dead.

Ooh, that chapter didn't end on a very good note for Lyra or the king.

Eagerly anticipating the next segment. :)

Mymy, if that's not the least encouraging thing I've ever read. Can't wait to see how Lyra gets out of this one, and if the King manages to convince her to bed him. (Somehow, I doubt it.)

Great so far! The chapters would normally be short for my tastes, but with this style I think it's better when short and concise.

I know should really read Intentions and Threads first, but I can't help it. :)

I see you've entered the Sraf awards. Hope you win! I'll be rooting for ya. :)

Wow. You can't just end it like that! Wow. That was a great ending, and the past five chapters were wonderfully written. You write just enough to pacify the reader... Very talented.

I feel like such an idiot. Philip Pullman and Peter Straub. Sorry! (Reading Black House and your story at the same time...) You have a tendency to end chapters fantastically. I wish you could make it longer, but that's just me being picky. Quality, not quantity. Your story is quite enjoyable right now, I hope you update quickly.

Wow. That was impressive. Thank you very much for putting up the quick summary, many people would not enjoy reading several works in order to understand a story. I especially enjoyed the last paragraph, it sounded remarkably close to a certain Peter Pullman... I will await the next chapter.

hey, i havent really reviwed but ive been following your story for a while and i want to say that i think its great, you are a *really* good author, and i hope you continue. i could never write anything this good, keep writing!! *happy holidays*
~tig

Hmm...interesting. Arthur shows up again, I see. It's good to see him, of course. I can't resist not liking him always. And also, interesting to see what exactly Lyra's supposed to be doing there...