 Peya Luna 2008-10-20 . chapter 9Awesome!! i really hope you gonna update this again sometime, this is just too good to be left unfinished! about your question for ideas/suggestions: dangerous move! i usually brim over with ideas - so here it goes ;-)
1. the talk with his parents: even if they´re ok with him being with a guy they sure have a problem with him having sex already, having them share the room/bed knowing what they´re doing. considdering that kel could come to cody without bothering to ask someone aka his parents for allowance and what you´ve told about sea people reaching sexual maturity with ten i suppose kel+cody are grown ups by sea people standards - what will be really hard to understand for his human parents!
2. sam: she´s hurt, jealous and disgusted, a dangerous combination! i remember her in the movie, how she abandoned cody without a second thought when the rumour came up that he was suddenly swimming so fast because of doping - and started to hang out with his hardest rival in the swimteam, who by the way is still VERY ** that he had lost in the last competition to cody. those two would made good allies to ruin cody´s life...back than, sam still had kept cody´s secret, but now...
3. how about sam+that guy (can´t remember his name right now, only that he was a total jerk)team up to reveal cody (and maybe kel as well) as triton in front of the eyes of everyone? and they can escape just with the help of jess/by using their powers?
you mentioned kel being a fighter, i would so like to see him use his skills on that arrogant jerk who thinks that he´s better than cody *evil grin*
4.jess. i think when kel finally realizes that he´s not interested in cody THAT way, the two can actually become great friends, kel is funny to be with and would surely apreciate jess´ total loyality to cody and him risking everything to keep him+his secret safe (remember: he went against his own dad and even jumped into the sea despite his lacking swimming skills to protect cody + free his mom!)if anything, he´s a very useful ally.
*phew!* thats it so far...for now LOL if you want more, feel free to contact me ;-)
though one more thing: you should REALLY raise the rating of this story, and maybe put a 'minors having sex' warning in or something like that...btw, i would really like to know how sex works as tritons, maybe you could write a heated underwater-scene and enlighten us how one does 'it' with your lover half being covered with scales XD |
 Tara S. 2008-09-27 . chapter 4 never mind about my last review, i guess. i think my computer was just freaking out. i'm reading the rest of the story now. |
 Tara S. 2008-09-27 . chapter 1 i think you uploaded wrong. everything past chapter 2 is completely blank. you might want to fix that. |
 yuki-sui 2008-09-25 . chapter 8wait his last isnt martin thats from the suite life of zach and cody
his last name is griffin
trust me im watchin the movie now |
 yuki-sui 2008-09-25 . chapter 7i take that back mayby it should be M |
 yuki-sui 2008-09-25 . chapter 6this is cool
but it should be rated T at the very least |
 yuki-sui 2008-09-25 . chapter 3ok... well lucky for you i tack intrest in yaoi, but you shoul warn your other readers.
ps. i saw it coming since the begining of chapter 2 |
 yuki-sui 2008-09-25 . chapter 2his last name was martin not mcgrath |
 Jill-Bloom89 2008-09-15 . chapter 9well in the first movie jess's dad is constantly obsessed with mer ppl and so in this story you could have him not care anymore and someone could see Kal run into the water and transform then find out about them...just my opinion |
 5redroses 2008-08-29 . chapter 9I love your story, an update would be great! |
 lXllXllXl- Avalee -lXllXllXl 2008-07-29 . chapter 9Totally amazing... Cody's a big boy now! |
 black lady knight 2008-01-23 . chapter 9more please |
 Helen Star 2007-09-25 . chapter 9That was cute! I would love to read more. |
 Trowa no Miko 2007-07-12 . chapter 9Hmm... Ideas, well you could always write about Kel trying to adjust to life as a human, and then Cody and Kel's relationship being accepted or not in a social aspect. Plus the movie ended with all that swim team drama so that should give you at least one chapter. You could also write background chapters about life under the water. You're a bit vague about things, like what showfighters are and why his mom is important, though the terms are pretty self-explanatory. Oh! Maybe you could write something with Kel trying to turn back into a Triton and not being able to. Or perhaps there could be something wrong with Cody's mom in Undersea.
The ending to this chapter was rather predictable, but not unlikeable. I can't see Cody's parents being upset because of his sexual orientation. They were pretty understanding in the movie. What I can see them being upset about is him doing things at his age, though. |
 Trowa no Miko 2007-07-12 . chapter 8That's a harsh way to break up with Sam. I feel bad for her. |