I thought the story started off well, although I can't really see Jack as a Sub Officer, he wasn't really the ambitious type.
I spotted a couple of mistakes regarding procedure, but I know how difficult that is to write, so I won't go on about that.
As far as characters go, Gavin was a good creation but I felt the others were just his side show, but you did make an attempt to include them with the scene on the engagement ring for example, which I thought was good.
On the whole, I thought that some of the characters were being too open and honest about themselves and their pasts. I don't think Jack would have told anyone else about what happened at White City, well not in as much detail as he did in this story anyway.
I also noticed that you tried to bring out Jack's reckless streak during the Thames shout, which is good because that's a vital part of his character. And I also think that the way the Watch treated Gavin after he landed up in hospital was realistic and typical.
I think that if you write more stories about a Watch like this one you should try to tell the stories of the other characters as well, it will make the story more interesting. I liked the cliff hangers on some of the chapters although maybe a bit more drama wouldn't go a miss, and maybe some more humour and less depression?
I hope you find this review useful and I also hope that I haven't given 'them' cause to remove this fic, which I believe will make a wonderful story with some tweaking. Soz 4 going on with meself!

wow this a great chapter, I can't wait to read the next chapter. Keep up the great work!!!

this is a great fic. Keep up the great work!!!

Wonderful! Poor Carole always seems to attract drunks doesn't she?!