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Hey this really good but you really need to make it sound better, eg.

As the big day was quickly approaching, Ally finally DECIDED to call her mom. She probably wouldn't have normally but Larry insisted.

ya c what i mean.

keep on with it. I have read the other cahpters up to chap 6. but just haven't reviewed the last one.

***Dari***

Hi, I can't believe u haven't got any reviews 4 this. It's insane. Try to make it flow a little more and try not to use that quite as much
eg. That night, That morning, That day etc.

Plz write more of this an i promise I'll review but u have to write more.

ps. o is in fact oh, as in Oh my god I'm going to be Mrs. Ally Paul.

see ya around, ***Dari***