Bwahahahaha brilliance!
Thanks for giving us the laugh :D

Now that's a thing of beauty. And oh so wonderfully true to form for Mal and Jayne. Absolutely brilliant.

Simply delightful! In a well characterized, hilarious/creative type way. I laughed. A lot.

The General

rofl :D that's hi-larious, i love it.

*Giggles* I adore this!

Would that all Mary Sues died in a like manner. :D

Excellently done!

Awesome little short story you have here. :)

Just take note you've got a K-Plus rated fic with 'T' level swearing, so you might want to up the rating. Otherwise excellent. *favorites*

THANK YOU
for this fanfic
you have no idea how many of these I've run across in the month or so that I've been into firefly (or, on second thought, maybe you do).
but regardless,
THANK YOU

*giggling* excellent!

oh, my goodness. I love this story. Once I remembered what an MS was, I couldn't stop laughing. Oh, wow. Just... great. : ) (uber big smile_

Again, I reiterate: if she'd only had uncontrollable burping, she'd still be alive.

I really like what you did with this fic. I thought the dialogue was spot on (very in character and plausible) and the general story was a lot of fun.

"Goddamned Mary Sues," Jayne muttered, blowing the smoke from his gun just before he holstered it. "Worse'n reevers."

Couldn't agree more!

Thank you so much for this.

as I was reading:

Mary sue...

mary sue...

mary sue...

dead mary sue! yay!

hehe, nice ^_~

Ha!

I had been wondering, "Wait, when was she described as exotic?" And then as I started to realize the punchline I figured out why that was thrown in. It seemed a bit off, like a foreshadowing of awfulness going on with this woman.

You did well on Mal, Jayne and Kaylee's ways of talking, too. There were a couple of specific lines that came out particularly good. In terms of overall writing, not too shabby, though I would have thrown in more physical description instead of using throw-off discriptors like "suspiciously" and "instantly." You can show instantly using the rhythm of your sentences and suspiciously by a narrowing of eyes or in a gesture or movement, just as an example. I have a thing against adverbs, they're too easy.

Overall, as I already said, this was top of the line for a one shot, and fabulously better than the Microsoft joke I was expecting based on the letters MS. :-D

This is the very first Firefly fan fic I've ever read. I fear that I may now never read another one out of worry that they will never be as good as this one.

Well done.