Well it's a good start but a bit hard to read considering that you don't use double spacing between paragraphs (try fixing that as it makes the story more enjoyable).

Note: I said it's a good start because I have to read the ending a bit later.

Listen, you should write about something eles,you
suck at writing, just stop.

Ah! Another inspired piece of fan-fiction! *clapping enthusiastically* You said earlier that Brand and Tourmaline would be a likely couple, 'well lookie here!' *he exclaims in mock amazement*...But shouldn't Imp's mother have covered his eyes or somethin?

And poor Corwin, all alone now, and on a ship with three ladies with the combined personality of a turnip.