If Neville really snapped, it would be more likely for him to poison everyone with some kind of plant, or use his wand and curse them. Where would he even learn about muggle weapons, pure-blood as he is?

very good. Excellent description and figuritive language. Remember you grammer, though. Apostrophes and commas... don't forget them. They're very impotant because they can affect the interpreting of your dialouge greatly. Otherwise, the story was very well done. Good job!

Okay it is pretty obvious that you just read the first book but for that its pretty good.

Neville becoming a psychopath...well...poor guy.

Its somehow in his blood.

Quite usual but not bad.

Cassandra

Wow, what a way to end a chapter! That just took my breath away. I think this is the first story I've ever read that centered on Neville, and it's amazing how you've managed to get into his head and portray him so realistically. Often he's described as a boring, one-dimensional character, whose only traits are his stupidity and forgetfulness. It's wonderful that you've developed him beyond this, recognising that JKR only focuses on these traits because they are the ones most noticeable to Harry in his early days at Hogwarts.

I'm dying to know what will happen next, because I have to say I haven't a clue where you're going with this! That's a good thing, by the way - nothing worse than being predictable. What was Neville firing? Was it a bow and arrow? And what was he firing at? Ack! Please, please, please write more. You have a wonderful story here, and you've actually made me like Neville Longbottom! Great work. You've made it to my Favourites list. Pleiades _

If this is your first fic, then it's more than impressive. Well done, it's excellent!