You have some balls to write this in class. Um. That's not what I meant to say. This has some beautiful description, both in the scenery and the sexual parts. Carrot can't even get the hint once he's told it's a relation. I'm dyyying. There's a lot of funny stuff in here, I'm glad you kept up the dialogue through everything, it's that sort of thing that keeps the characters themselves, rather than being just another PWP. On that note, tho, Carrot's diction feels kinda off to me. I can't really say how. I'd suggest not using the euphimism "rod" ... although that's not as bad as "manhood" ... Well, my biggest hurdle was how quickly Carrot got over the whole incest issue and got into bed. It'd hard for me to say what more I want for you, 'cause you hit many points that coincide with how I feel about the characters and how they'd react... you had his attitude change... perhaps I expected him to be a bit more hesitent once they started, at least to begin with. Oh! And there's a couple bits of unintended repetition... I'm a little lost for examples now, though. Running off to read yas other works.

Very angsty. Yum. Heh. Great job. I liked this a lot. I agree with ff.net's stupid nc-17 hating. Mediaminer.org is a good place to post those ratings and get reviews.