Why the f is aragorn so old? like come on. And the story is so confusing cause you dont explain things properly. also the character alisa is always yelling, and she changes her mood so quickly.
It was an okay fanifc at best, i mean she even died at the end...

This isnt going to be another tenth walker story is it? Good God these stories are so lame. I still think you should write your own ORIGINAL plot and be more descriptive.

OK, so your character is a Mary-Sue, I can live with that, but try and make her a little more realistic for the sake of all of us here.

Can't say I'm not disappointed. That was ...subpar. You can do far better. I much prefered the first ending. And the chapter lengths for these recent additions have been pathetically short. YOU CAN DO BETTER. Maybe try redoing these last chapters and make them fuller.

Well, your 2'nd ending is defenetly better, or at the least happier. Although you do have a good idea, I really feel that it could have been better. I sugest that you write down your plotline and develope it and the pionts you want to make BEFOR you start writing. I felt that you didn't know where you were going form one chapter to the next. The charicters also seemed a little flat. It's those moments of conflect that really show who the charicter is, and alows us the reader to bond with them. Having parts of each chapter showing how a charicter (the main ones expeshally) thinks but printing threre thoughts ater the agument also ushally helps

ex. after a fight with the main guy and Girl

Girls POV
How could he! Trying to make ME look foolish infront of my friends! I'll get him back. So help me I will! He'll begging me for mersy befor it's over!

Guys POV
Why did I do that? I didn't come to cayse he anymore truble. But she looks so cute when she's mad... I'll just have to be on my tose for a little wile.

I really feel that you can be a very good writer! You just have to get more practis and put more into your charicters. You should also spend more time explaining some of those flashbacks and dreams. Desribing the 5 sences can really help get a reader traped in your story.

Good luck with your next story!

*applauds*
That was great! I love it! I wish you would write a little more though.

Great fanfic. I really like the alternative ending to this. =D Great job!

Hmm...King and Queen of Gondor and Prince and "Princess" of Mirkwood...hmm...interesting. Great job of writing a different ending to this story!

LOL! What the hell? That was gold. Never seen that done before...

Julio Casanova: I don't know, Princess Blancheska...what do you think of this...manifestation of writing?

Princess Blancheska: It is crap.

Julio Casanova: Yes, yes; I agree.

Princess 'Blanch': First off, grammar errors and spelling mistakes in plenty. Not a bad plot, though we can all tell it is leading to a crash-course Legomance. But to top it off...

Julio Casanova: MARY SUE, SUE, SUE, SUE! (They all have red hair, for starters...or seem to...)

This chapter was very short, but it was good! Keep up the good work!

erm...yet again, something i didn't mention gammatically last time, QUESTION MARKS?

erm...the blade was broken, if it was the line it would mean that they were all dead. you spell were w-e-r-e, it takes away from the story a tiny bit. Also, spaces between sentences along with capitals. try to proof read, no offence meant or anything, one of my english papers said loose and i meant lose, i had read it many times but didn't pick it up. wether, not the outside kind. sorry that i seem like the teacher of my worst subject, english.
~Moony's Mystery

Hmm...both endings are good. I am going to read your sequel's update now. bye bye. Have a great new year!

I love it so much! Next chappy soon pwease! Ur an awesome writer!
~Jen~

This story is fantastic! Very well written despite a few spelling errors! Keep it up! I can't wait to read the next chapter of the alternate ending!