You're not half bad at writing. But all that Japanese you stuff into your fic...it really seems like you're trying too hard to show off all the Japanese you know. It merely detracts from the fic. Why not stick to English?

I like your story

Hello that was and "Excellent' chapter!

Yuri: It wasn't that great...
Rei: you are so mean Niisan-chan!
Yuri: Yeah well so are you...
Rei: how am i mean?
Yuri: Your you
Rei: fine well your...you


Ignore Yuri he is in a bad mood because he is grounded so No matter what he says your Fic is Excellent and you need to keep Writing your fic and don't let people like my stupid ** brother bother you with their cheap remarks. Keep writing, and i think Bakura is more Kawaii when he cares too. (But don't tell him i said that though)

~ Rei

I've only read the first chapter, but I noticed that you used Hajimemashite wrong. One only says that the very first time the meet someone, so it's not quite right in context.

it's cool that u know so many japanese words. r u japanese or something? keep going, the story's really good! ^_^

that was a great chapter please continue your fic. please! please! please! please! i hope you continue this is really good!!!