This is a seriously powerful piece of writing - its a great start!
is it gonna be a one off?
one thing u cud do to improve it is maybe to add in more paragraphs cos the middle section is a bit hard 2 read and the contents is sooo gud that u wanna read it all.
keep writing : )

Wow. That was EXELLENT. You have a very good writing potential. Can't wait for more.

I liked it. I haven't seen a story that was all from Yuna's POV. Just one suggestion: Break it up into smaller paragraphes. It makes the story easier to read.