dude! please update this story! its frigging good!

Hello! I've read all the way to chapter 33 but from what i've read you are a great writer how did you come up with this idea about harry going to Snapes place in where ever his place is?
but anywho i wish i could write more like you

Cardinal Ratzinger is the new Pope now!! Please update soon, or at least post a not saying either why you can't and when you can or that you've completely dropped the story. I'm re-reading your story now while i wait for more to come!

Interesting.
Problem is, Harry knows Quirrel was the one hexing his broom, not Snape. Snape was trying to protect him.

Hello wonderful author! :)

This is just to let you know that your story is listed in my website "Potions and Snitches", a fanfiction site dedicated to the mentor relationships between Harry Potter and Severus Snape, even though your story isn't really about them lol. Please let me know if you want me to take it down, update your info, talk about chocolate frogs, or have any questions. A link to the website is in my profile.

Thank you for your story! :) It doesn't have a frog rating yet but it's on the list.

Jan

Hi ! this is my first review ever so I don't really know how it is done. First things first : congratulations ! this is great ! of course, I find severus snape a bit ooc (truth be told he is quite a lot ooc) but I don't mind because this "new" character is really interesting.furthermore, I must say it is refreshing to have a story with a real plot, well written and a background such as historical facts, French history ... I am really impressed and here come my remarks, even if I guess few readers are interested in them. So in a nutshell, I am french (that's why I find your descriptions of paris and bretagne so impressive, especially since I gathered you were a german native speaker and not french)and I would have some remarks about French names : since in french you say du guesclin, you would probably say in english : du guesclin's room, the room of du guesclin, chambre de du guesclin ... (I mean you keep the "du", instead of just saying chambre de guesclin, the "du" is the same grammatical thing as the "de" in "de la bédoyère"). ok, I must admit my sentence must have been confusing, but it was just a tiny detail (and if I can only criticize your use of some obscure grammatical rule for French nobility titles, I really do think it is a proof that I find the rest great). on the other hand, since you obviously care a great deal about French history and "civilization" (I am impressed by the musée de cluny I must say)and because I am a student in history (who has never written fanfiction and just happens to like pinpointing useless details in footnotes):le cardinal de richelieu was LOuis XI 's minister (le cardinal Mazarin was Louis XIV's minister). of course, I know absolutely nothing of the history of furniture (? sorry, I don't have an English dictionnary available)and I confess it seems highly probable that, since richelieu died in 1642, a few months before Louis XI and seeing how Louis louis XIV was only 5 at the time and probably did not have his own "style" yet, the richelieu chairs were still produced at the beginning of louis XIV's reign. so now that I have accomplished my duty as an historian (lol) and put my conscience at peace, i am going to read the rest of this wonderful story.
please, keep writing ! (oups, I hope I didn't seem too desesperate ...)

this is very good.

Awesome story, I cant' wait to read the upcoming chapters.

Fascinating story, very very interesting. I hope there will be a new chapter up soon

This is really great fic, I have never been a big Snape fan and I have passed this story over quite a few times. Over all its been quite a enjoyment and look forward to reading more.

Sorry for the confession, but the version on fanfiction net is the first draft of the story and I did not take pains to either spellcheck or reread it. The one on fictionalley is in 'The Dark Arts' but under the pseudonym DARK GRIFFON (so under the Ds not the Gs) and the 'Glory, glory'-version, spell-checked and pampered and all is on my personal website
http://the_fifth_heir.tripod.com
So if you wish to get what a German/French cross with English as third language can do at her best (but without a beta) you must go to my personal site. There is also music and paintings and well...lots of stuff to make it all look like a real e-book.
Enjoy and pardon my lightheartedness on fanfic-net.
Griffon

Well, I must say that I love this story and after I read the two new chapters decided to reread it since I last read it last summer... and all I could think was "What the hell happened to this story?!". I tried to check the FictionAlley version but it was gone, but if my memory doesn't fail me, the version I read last summer was well-written and with good grammar. I had a surprise not very nice... instead of the well written and nice-flowing story I remembered I find misspellings and grammar errors I was sure I didn't see in the story last summer. If you made someone beta the story to check if it sounded good in English since it's not your first language I think they messed up the grammar and spelling a bit. The last chapter posted (56) reads a lot better than the earlier chapters in the spelling and grammar part.
Don't mistake me, I think the story is great and I love the plot, but I think that the little misspellings and grammar errors I keep finding in the earlier chapters are spoiling a bit what is in every other aspect a very enjoyable read. Please fix this problem when you can and keep offering us more of this grat story.

Hm... Interesting. Some constructive critisism. First off, spell check your work because there are numerous spelling mistakes. Also, your word order is very strange. The sentances make sense, but sound strange when they're read. Try to bring more feelling in the story. I actually think that will happen when you fix your word order around. A part of the reason that your sentances sound strange is becuase you're using words that don't totally fit the context of the sentance. Fixing this up will make your story much more moving. For example. The way you use the term '**' does not make sense most of the time. It's used as an exclemation mostly, but you can say "This ** makes no sense" or something around the those lines. Um, yeah I guess that't pretty good for now. If you want to speak with me either to yell or ask for more advice my e-mail is aabrown@urbanschool.org. That is all.

This is a great story! You're very good at pacing and plot development.
A couple of small things: I forget what the male Lestrange's first name is, but in the English-language version of the books, the female is Bellatrix, not Cecilia. Is it different in the French translation?
Also, in the books Rowling states that Severus "knew more curses in his first year" than the 7th year Slytherins did, and gives the strong impression that Severus started Hogwarts in his first year, not as a transfer student in his 5th year. Not sure how close you want your Snape to be to "canon" Snape, but the detail jarred a little bit in the narrative and I wanted to point it out.
I like your original characters - very well fleshed out, and appealing.
Thanks for a really enjoyable read!
Helga

Another update so soon! It is very welcome.
It seems that Dumbledore does not know that Voldemort,the man, has been replaced by the demon? Or does he? Certainly he does not plan to throw Harry against a demon? That would be stupid for Harry as we know him. Then there may be more to Harry than has been revealed yet.