...however, I would rather if you would not talk to me about your menial problems. Get an owl OR a cat OR a toad.

That end bit...that was the most brilliant thing I have ever read. I think I found it so funny that I just stop living for a second :P.

The dedicated students of this subject often develop nicely toned thighs, O.O WOW SNAPE. WOW. I'MA GO INTO ASTRONOMY NOW! xD

feel free to vent your anger at the system by liberally removing points from the Gryffindor student of your choice.

GLADLY! I mean umm... THAT'S WRONG, SNAPE! xD

Wonderful writing! I shall now go on to the journal. x3

and ghost (though only God know what the point of that is). xD No seriously... why?

and leave Hogwarts to acquire the fatuously intellectual jobs that no one else wants. Their motto is read hard, think hard, study hard - an aphorism which greatly sums up their existences.
xD

do not suddenly remember that the only thing between them and a 50 foot plunge to the ground is a thin stick, thus rendering them frozen in a state of panic.
xD BRILLIANT!

THIS CHAPTER WAS BRILLIANT!

xD I loved the overview of the years and sterotypes. IT WAS WONDERFUL!

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Of course, there is one more teacher at Hogwarts whom I have not mentioned yet - myself. I am the only sane teacher at Hogwarts, however, I would rather if you would not talk to me about your menial problems. Get an owl OR a cat OR a toad.

love it

HAHAH.
Absolutely HYSTERICAL.
I love your version of Snape.
=]

Well, not that funny as the diaries were but I loved this part:

Professor Lupin.

Only teacher at Hogwarts capable of eating a dozen students in one night.

Reason for leaving: Secret life as werewolf accidentally made public knowledge.

Iva (-:

this is so funny i love it!
tis ace

I was hoping after the introduction that more of Snape's sarcasm and sharp wit would become evident but it wasn't so. Also, I became quite peeved with the incomplete sentences.

Ex: "Notoriously bitter squib. Knows castles secret passages better than any other staff member, and most students. Owns a mangy cat, Mrs. Norris, whom students also despise."

That whole excerpt is comprised of incomplete sentences.

I can't imagine Snape writing something like this but I still have hope for the next chapter.

wow. really funny. I loved it!!

hee hee hee...so funny, you're awesome!

haha, that was a good guide, lol, come visit my profilepage when you get the chance too! or visit my HP site , here's a link: http://angelicfelicite.

Very Snapish. Very good! "...the school is teaming with pathetic unachievers, united by their common goal to not learn anything."

*applause* Yay for Snape! ^^ I can just see him writing this... *snicker* Great job!