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Reviews for: Legacy Haunting
giveGodtheglory
2004-02-05 . chapter 1
I read it. It's good. You're gonna hate me if you ever read my stuff.
God bless you:D
<
(I am so tired, sorry I couldn't do a better review)
Ludi
2003-12-26 . chapter 1
What a lovely story! Full of the normal little things of life, and with some wonderful little dialogue. There are a few errors here and there, but that doesn't detract from the story as a whole. I loved your little humorous allusions. And the way you leave the baby's gender up for debate at the end.
Sweet. :)
Randirogue
2003-05-27 . chapter 1
The changes are perfect. The story was well done already but the little nuances that make it accurate can always help make or break a story. You did great!
Wild Craze
2003-03-25 . chapter 1
This is really really good. I don't know what you're planning on doing, and that's interesting. Is the child going to be a girl? Please?
Is Rogue still affected? Is che going to be really sick, scare the ** out of everyone but not die? Well, I would really like out to write the next chapter soon.


Please?
Wishful Thinking2
2003-02-20 . chapter 1
great story! nicely written and believable. good job!
Mukaebi
2003-02-18 . chapter 1
Ek! The legacy virus is back again?!?! NO! Oh, I really do hope that Rogue's baby will be okay. I love this story and I have a little story about my friends mother when she craved weird stuff. She acutally ate vanilla ice cream topped up with pickles and onions {{shivers}} that still makes me sick whenever I think about it.icky. Update soon!
T.
2003-02-18 . chapter 1
Great, can't wait for more.
Randirogue
2003-02-17 . chapter 1
The story is very nice. I do have to point out a few small things though, and I hope not to discourage you or make your feel negative in any way. I did read your not that you have never been to New Orleans in the beginning. And I noticed you tried to make an effort by incorporating some known places (ie. Cafe Du Monde) to make up for that. However, as the writer, you do need to do some research so that major errors are not made. It isn't as hard as it sounds. In my story, "Seether", I have a chapter set in Venice, Italy, even though I have never been there. But, to get an idea for the culture and the atmosphere and the way the city is like, I did a general search of the city on the internet. I found maps, lists of festivals, names of tourists hot spots, personal web pages by people who live there and yet spoke my language. A couple of hours of rather interesting research and I had a good general sense of transportation, daily life, etc. It's by no means something I would have people use as a guide to living there, but I kept it vague enough on the parts I wasn't sure of and detailed enough on the stuff I did find out about to give, what I hope was a fairly accurate description of someplace I'd never been, to a degree that so far nobody has found the need to make major notice to me of errors. If anyone does find error, I would love for them to point it out and let me know where I could research the item more so as to allow me to correct it.

My point is, there is absolutely no subway system in New Orleans. and may never be. This is because New Orleans is bordering a swamp. Heck, part of it is a swamp. One of the reasons that New Orleans' cemetaries are famous for their beautifully designed tombs and such is because they basically have to bury most of their dead above ground due to being on a swamp. They are below sea level and therefore can't have underground tunnel and basements as such. I'm sure you can even find out a little about this by doing a quick search for New Orleans (tourism, any of the famous cemetaries. maybe even by searching for Cafe Du Monde itself?). New Orleans is actually known for its system of trolley's still in use. Trolley and above ground train system is what is used there.

I have had the great pleasure of visiting there several times. and most of the tourist online sites do make mention of this information as well as several known spots that Remy and Rogue could traverse while there. The French Quarter itself is actually very very small. and not the majority of the city by any means. It borders the Mississppi River, which actually separates the city into East Bank and West Bank. Most of the streets in the French Quarter are very narrow and very delicate. They are bricked mostly as well. Not too many cars pass through there and even fewer large trucks which make it difficult for deliveries to the businesses there. This is because the majority of the buildings in the French Quarter are over a century old. And most of these buildings (businesses and homes)do have well kept up courtyards, set behind the buildings, out of the eyes of passerby's on the street. I don't remember seeing too many fountains. let alone ones in a park in the French Quarter (where Cafe Du Monde is). Some of the courtyards, privately owned by restaurants and home owners there, could have a possible fountain though. But, famous Jackson Square with its statue of Jackson centered in the circular public park (though tiny park) would have benches for the ice cream scene. But, that would take out the Gambit getting soaked. Make it a courtyard of the ice cream place set along one of the side streets (not Bourbon street. lol) and you could get away with the fountain, I think.

One last thing. Watch the French. I know you are trying to emulate Gambit's accent. but with very little effort you can get accurate spellings of the French. A good online translater is http://babelfish.altavista.com/

The main error I saw was "ma coure", which I take you mean to have him say, "mon coeur" (meaning 'my heart'). The link above is fairly accurate. Sometimes too litteral a translation, but for short phrases. it works well. Just type in the english version you want, then scroll to "English to French" and hit enter. Poof! It gives it to you, grammer, spelling and all. Yay! Oh. and if you want to add a little more depth and less formality to the language use, do an online search for Cajun Slang Dictionaries or Cajun Alternative Dictionaries. I could paste you some links to those but I'm feeling like I'm being too much of a know-it-all in this, and I'm getting lazy, so I won't. I found several though just by doing the internet search.

The concept of the story is nice though. But since you tied so much into the non-existant subway system, it makes it difficult to really accept and to allow for suspension of disbelief that is needed in fiction. If the subway system is that important for the story just change the setting to New York or something. someplace known for having subways. If you want it set in New Orleans, you really should use something else. Oh. and just if you do change it. no real stations for the trolley and trains. It's like bus stops, k? Do an online search and I'm sure in a short amount of time and effort you will find what you need to make the story both fairly accurate and more rich in flavor.

Like I said before, don't be discourage. This is overall a small error. but one, as a writer, you shouldn't allow yourself to overlook, since it is so simple to correct. You have a good story here, don't let small details such as this take away from the point of it.

Good luck and be sure to let me know if/when you make the corrections at randirogue@aol.com. I'd love to see how it turns out.
ishandahalf
2003-02-17 . chapter 1
oh, good stuff. i always love rogue/remy mush. aw!
Panther Nesmith
2003-02-17 . chapter 1
Cool story. I really don't have very much to say beyond that. I love it. Half romance, half medical. . .thingy, DRAMA! That's the word. I really enjoyed reading it, and that's all that matters, right? Not that I enjoyed it, per se, but that your readers like it, uh, yeah. I'm not very articulate today. Hmm. Anyway, I gave you a piece of my mind for the peice of work you gave me. We're equal now I guess. How un-romantic. Ah well. Kudos
Tammy
2003-02-17 . chapter 1
This is so sweet. I loved it.
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