Reviews for Sundered - FanFiction.Net

Reviews For: Sundered

CatOnFire 2006-06-23 ch 3,	abuseHmm, it looks interesting but little can be said of it beacause so little has been done storywise, thus I can only speculate.
anonymous 2004-08-30 ch 1, anon.	abuseTenchi is my absolute favorite character and I hope your story does justice to his character and abilities and I think Tsunami may be intending for him to marry all five of his suitors. It is quite likely that she arranged for all of them to meet as they did. Please, please, please don't make Ranma a Juraian. That has been done to death and I'm sick of Ranma being turned into Tenchi. What makes him so much fun is his tendency to do and say stupid things without considering the consequences. Don't make him smart and don't make him sensible.
Jerry Unipeg 2004-06-24 ch 3,	abuseI had enjoy this chapter.
Deadpan 2004-06-15 ch 2,	abuseI'm rather sad that this fic hasn't gone anywhere in over a year. The setup is good and the "I think you broke him" scene is almost a clasic all by itself. However, if you give this a rewrite, you might want to switch out of present tense. Past usually works better. (i.e. said instead of says, etc)
Jerry Unipeg 2004-04-29 ch 2,	abuseNice.
Jerry Unipeg 2004-04-29 ch 1,	abuseGreat start.
howard 2003-05-04 ch 2, anon.	abusehow is ranma going to fight against the DC supervillian? I hope you are planning to change him into either a masu warrior like Ryoko or Jurian like Tenchi
dogbertcarroll 2003-05-03 ch 2,	abuseI don't see where Tenchi would have a problem marrying two women. If they could avoid destroying everything around them at any rate. The idea that it's an earthly morals thing is idiotic. I have met lots of people in what amounted to a three way (or more) marriage and they seemed perfectly happy. A lot more these days then a decade ago.
Deadpan 2003-05-03 ch 2,	abuseWhen you say MEGAcrossover you aren't kidding are you? Throwing in other elements from the DC universe would probably blow away your plot point of earthings not having knowledge of extraterestrials other than the Oni, not to mention make this work much too crowded. Howerver, after some reflection, I highly approve of your selection for master villan of this piece. He is one of the few evil overlords with the power, resources, and presence to require the services of the army of heros that tends to acumulate in this sort of fiction.
dogbertcarroll 2003-05-02 ch 1,	abuseHuman beings are Jurian. It's a social experiment to see what would happen if they developed on a planet that had no knowledge of any other races then themselves. With Lum and them there the experiment has been ruined. I loved the scene with the emperor. "I think you broke him." Hehehehehehe. Yes Ranma being Tenchi's cousin has been done quite a lot. It works well so everyone uses it. So if Nabiki isn't keeping the Tendo's afloat who is?
Kefka 1/2 2003-04-12 ch 1, anon.	abuseIt has a good plot. The first time I had seen A lum crossover with Ranma 1/2 and tenchi. Please countine.
Ilpallazzo 2003-03-06 ch 1, anon.	abuseIt could get interesting, but there is quite a few issues to deal with in this chapter. 1) Your description of Minagi is a bit off. Yes, her sword is more powerful than Ryoko's (since it is a later model of Yakage's), but she has less power, even though Ryoko doesn't have all her gems. Also, Minagi seems to lack Ryoko's ability to teleport. 2) In crossing with UY, I am glad to see that you consider how the Onis would make their challenge/invasion of Earth considering that it is Juraian property and specially protected area. Unfortunately the explanation is ridiculous. Intragalactic borders will be drawn on planet and system scale, not some strange absolute, static map that would allow entire starsystems to change ownership regularly. 3) Tenchi's argumentation for hiding their alien origins is the same which he gives in the manga (more or less), but that explanation presumes that Earth has had no 'official' contact with aliens. As Ryoko points out, this is no longer the case, and the argumentation is invalid. There may still be other good reasons, but the 'old' ones no longer has any validity. 4) Since you're basing this off the Tenchi Manga, I do hope you follow Oukuda's very obvious opinion that Tenchi is in love with Ryoko. It is plain to see already in the Yakage story arc, and only gets more obvious in later ones. (Aeka even seems to accept this fact as the Manga progresses). In that regard, I noticed that Tenchi was introduced to the idea of polygami by Azusa. Please notice that for Tenchi, with all his upbringing and cultural ballast, to marry two women will be quite out-of-character. And if you make him marry more than two, I'm gonna puke. Seriously ^_^ 5) Nodoka being Katsuhito's estranged daughter? Please, that has only been done 10.0 times before. Roughly 90% of the Ranma/Tenchi crosses use this by now overly cliche way to link the series and explain/expand Ranma's power. I urge you to find a more original way to bring the series together, and preferably one which doesn't make Ranma a juraian. On a side note, my impression of the Tokyo geography was that Tomobiki is a district in the Nerima ward, just like Furinkan is. So both are in Nerima (which most of Takahasi's series are).
howard 2003-03-05 ch 1, anon.	abusekeep up the good work. try to keep a faster pace
hiryu 2003-03-05 ch 1, anon.	abusehurry and update the next ch.
Keroberos 2003-03-05 ch 1, anon.	abuseThis is quite a good story. Wish that you can put out the next chapter soon. This way of crossing Tenchi muyo and Ranma had been done before, although not with this twist. I find it quite refreshing, makes me wanna read more. Also, UY? You're gonna have to work at it to make it integrate more with the story. The little bit of them in this chapter makes them seem like filler. Hope the next chapter is better.

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