I can't really believe that something that fluffy was so awesome and moved me that much. I think I may have sniffled. It was kind of brilliant.

I read this story for the first time about a year ago. I admired it then, but when read it again today I fell in love. So very well constructed and sweet.

Gorgeous. Absolutely gorgeous. Usually, when people attempt second person, it ends up jumbled and poorly written. But you have nearly perfected it here. I can appreciate any Javid fluff, but this is, dare I say, a masterpiece? You are a truly talented author and I look forward to reading the rest of your work. Well done!

I have to say, this story is just... amazing. I was just reading it at the Refuge, but I figured I'd comment here so I can put it on my favorites list. This is so beautiful.

I won't say much, but I'll say this. Second person present tense? You're my hero.

Oh, Jesus. It's a testament that I remembered this from reading it over two years ago. I only had to skim it again to realize how beautiful it is.

I LOVE IT.

Great work.

i applaud you

That was good. Ah. Yes it was.

Shimmerwings, incredibly good job. Though I was worried that the repetition of "Imagine..." would get, well, repetitive, it didn't. You wrote a very realistic depiction that makes me feel like you've perhaps studied the period in history and really know what you're talking about (either that, or you've watched Newsies several hundred times). And of course, the story was very sweet -- Much better written, frankly, than most of the DavidxJack slash I've read, and definitely more moving.

i know this story is old.. but i just read it. and i wanna say.. this story kicks **! great work. so cute. love the whole 2nd person/present tense thing! yup. kickass.

That was by far the fluffiest thing I've read hear. Heh heh. Which is not a bad thing. I'm glad I finally found a happy ending though. ANYway, very nice. Good job. :)

Aiyaiyaiyai. I don't have a big enough vocabulary to comment on this. I love this fic so much. I could marry it.

...Er. Anyway. Really love the way Jack and David are sort of like an old (middle-aged is probably more appropriate here) married couple. And the thought of David's family being Jack's...adopted...family.

I'm frustrated because I cannot find the words to properly praise this. Awesome writing.

I have nothing to say besides THIS MADE ME SO HAPPY! And the style was very interesting, imagine that.

You're right. This story simply defies description. I don't even *like* Jack/David, and I think I love this story. Ohgod, the perfect tense. It's so...gah. I want to be able to write like this. Someday.

Really beautiful. I hope to see more writing from you, as this piece was truly exceptional.

- Allie

that was unbelievably beautiful and well-written, with a lovely wistful yet content tone. sweet and sad and fluffy and i felt like crying with the loveliness of it all. wonderful, wonderful job.

This is a review from all my in-head Newsies-related characters!

(Spot) Jeezis, what the Hells up with the last paragraph? Was da whole t'ing a dream, or what? Didn't know Jacky boy had dat otha side to him. NExt time put in more slingshots. and beer.

(Switch, the Boy) i LikEd. poor wallit. it is 'bused. i wish i cud rite good.

(Cody) I hate everyone.

And now for my review:

This was fantastic. The image of David being a teacher fits really well in my mind, dunno why; also, the idea of chalk dust on his hands and hair is cute.

I liked the concept of the story itself, mostly, although I agree with Spot; the ending was a bit abrupt and hard to understand, but I believe it says you stayed up all night writing it and that is more than forgiveable.

Also, it's nice to see that you included Sarah in the story, which most writers don't do, unless they have her murdered or sent to Auschwitz or something equally heinous. Strangely I have a new respect for Sarah and I'm not sure I like it, but I'm glad to see that not everyone abuses her gratuitously.

Hmm... what else...

OH! Right, I meant to comment sooner but I got sidetracked... It is really, REALLY refreshing to see someone write a slash story where the pairing stays together for years and years and they actually grow up and experience things like the deaths of parents and such. One of the things that gets irritating about yaoi/slash is that the writers tend to throw the pairing together because it's pretty, sexy, or whatever, but it's unrealistic in the sense that they write the characters as if they're perpetually youthful and beautiful, the way they appeared in the original work. But this is Jack and David plus fifteen years, and they're still together and well on into their thirties! That's great!

I guess that's all I can really say that any other moron couldn't already.. Keep it up!

-- Serorikun