Oh my goodness... where to start. In one of your paragraphs EVERY sentence began with He! Mix it up a little. Use different sentence structures and stay away from pronouns! Proper nouns such as names are the most important things to use when introducing a new character! Another thing is to include more details. Words create pictures for our minds and the more you have, the clearer the picture will be in the reader's mind.

Wow, excellent job! I like it so far, and I feel sorry for Benet.

Ah, pobre Benet! Nifty plot complications, the story is beginning to flesh out. AND, the chapters are starting to get a little longer! That's always good. Keep it up! :)

Things are starting to come together huh? I really like this one so far, please keep up the good work.

Excellent!

Finally, Alucard is here!

Keep Reviewing!

I like your story so much, i'm adding it to my favorite fic list!

Hm... Your story seems to have potential... but you're missing an important part...

ALUCARD!

Bring him back soon will you?

great job! I love this so far! I hope to see more in the near future!

Don't worry, this chapter was a good length. I just hate to get the thread of a story and then have it end so soon... I love the way you characterized Maria. She's so sharp and acerbic! :) And of course, there's Annet trying in vain to keep the peace. She looks like the mature type... Keep up the good work! I'm looking forward to the next chapter.

It's Richter! Yay for Richter! He's a teacher, huh? Hm... This is cute (well, the last part was meant to be suspenseful, but you know what I mean...) I like Richter and Annette. Who knows how she gets her hair purple...

The plot seems to have gotten moving a little quicker now, which is good. It's so short, though! Bummer to the max! ^^ I want to know what happens next! WHAT made Richter curse? WHAT is the deal with the black, mysterious blob thing? WILL the vomit stains come out of Richter's pants?!

Anyway, this is good, I've got no complaints. Now, I expect a good 8-page chapter next time. ;)

Hm...getting interesting, liked how you used Richter *even though it hasn't progressed very far yet*. Yet, good potential...I'd like to see where this goes. ^-~

poor John! I wonder what killed them...
This sounds really good so far! Plz update soon and keep up the good work!

Sure it's interesting. Cliffhangers almost always are. ;) The horse is okay, though, right? *sniffle* Poor Nelly...
Moving right along, kudos of setting a mood and building suspense. *sigh* It angers me so... Also, the chapters seem to be getting longer, which is a good thing. I know I had trouble building up length on mine for the first few chapters; yours is neato, it shouldn't have a problem getting meatier once the plot really gets rolling. Can't wait to see how the guy-with-mirror and Nelly and the black thing all fit together!

Great chapter. Hope you upload soon! ^_^

hmm...i wonder what happened, plz update soon.

Cinfusing, and interesting...plz continue