ah really cool i luved it!

A good one for sure!
A bit short though...

Aww. I wish this wasn't so short. Well described, more or less grammatically immaculate, no real spelling problems. My only real complaint is it didn't go much of anywhere. We were given no idea who these people were, who Dorian was, or why any of this was happening. Still, in that momentary "slice" of his unlife that we got, at least everything was well described. A little more attention to environment might have been nice, but the action was portrayed quite well. All in all, I give it a thumb up.

I really like this. You described it very well. Some people may think it too short, but I think that added to the impact of the story. Good job.

wow... its so true too... write more

Good Story very cool!!

Hmmm, not bad. A little short, but very very well written!

Not bad. While it was brief, it offered a glimpse into the Beast within vampires that many writers (myself included) rarely address.

Hmmmm... A bit short, really... dunno what to make of it otherwise. Never was good at reviewing ultra-shorts...

Not bad, but the end is ... wanting slightly.