Starting to read your story and so far it is very captivating. I just want to point out one descrepancy i've found so far. In chapter one the characters are carrying ak-74s but you say that they are spraying 7.62 mm rounds. The 47's fire the 7.62's while the 74's actually use 5.45 mm rounds. Other than that i like where the story could be heading.

Nice!

Excellent story. One of the best of the genre I've read. You really should write more of it. Judging by the last update (March '07) I'm guessing it's dead, but it still would be great if it was revived.

It's too bad you stopped this. I mean, after almost a year, I can only assume you've stopped. It would have been incredible to see this finished.

I just have to say, this is one of the most excellent stories that I've read. I started chapter 1 at around 9 PM, and I was utterly unable to put it down until I finished Chapter 20 at almost 4AM.

I absolutely love this story. I love the way that you've blended many elements from the game with other elements that you've obviously spent a good deal of time working out. The descriptions of battle are phenomenally awesome, and the comedy (such as the aliens getting drunk off of Pine-Sol) is great as well. And the whole back story about the division in the alien empire is terrific.

I'm not sure if you're still working on this story, but I certainly hope that you are, because it is just plain excellent in so many respects. Keep up the great work!

Very very good, enjoyed everything so-far hope for an update soon.


Thanks for sharing.,

WOW! I thought this was dead... but it lives again, this is excellent work my friend, please keep it up!!

Something is wrong with chapter 13.

It looks like this. Chapter 13        It began as a couple of blips on the long-range radar sensors. On- duty for the second shift, just before dinner, Ensign Kayla Tyler noticed it at once; or rather, she was surprised that the system had failed to pick the contact up earlier. The radar screen showed that the contacts were only 320 kilometers from the western Irish coast, fast approaching the island from the direction of the city of Limerick.        "Where did you come from?" Kayla wondered aloud. "And how did the system miss you earlier on?"        Advanced target identification software went into action at the touch of a button, and the computer reported that each contact was over 30 meters in length, and was traveling at a tremendous 2,0 kilometers an hour. At that kind of velocity, they would begin traversing Ireland within the next 10

After reading your story I must say, it is one of the best I read so far. The history is mostly correct and I especially liked the scenes concerning the aliens and their situations.

A very positive point is your detailed description of the mechanics of weapons, armor and even how to hack a mainframe :)

In some cases it seemed that you have forgotten about physics. Especially when four X-Com soldiers blast away at one chryssalid, the creature would have been blasted from its feet by the combined force of the impacts alone. The same with 15-gauge buckshots from a shotgun. A blast from close range overbalances almost anything bipedal.

Also I like the influx of the other games/game backgrounds you implemented. Like the crusader/guardian things (coming from Battletech I'm sure) or Star Trek (V shaped fingers and "live ling and prosper" ^^)

I hope you will continue this story although it doesn't look like you'll do that given that the last update was almost a year ago.

Since you are writing for Warhammer, you may wanna check out my story there set in the Battlefleet Gothic background (if you haven't seen it already) :)

Wow, all i can say - is wow.

I'm wishing and hoping your still around, and still writing up updates to this, because this is one of, if not THE best X-Com fan fic I've ever read, as a matter of fact - it's inspired me to start my very own, all thanks to you.

Please, don't stop this now - because this is just plain, un-condensed, awesome.

I'm afraid I'm going to hurt you here over several factors. I would say first of the drama and action in this story is well done, however there are some rushed moments and terrible inaccuracy in this chapter.

First off, though putting down the names of the guns, just because you put in AK-47 does not give it life in the story, is it new/used? How did it fire? The type of ammo used? And how did it feel in the hands of the user, wasthe person trembling at the thought of useing it? Was he eager to kill etc.

More insight to the characters was needed bear in mind Xcom fics allow orignal characters to be used, however for that reason the author must be able to distinguish the difference between guy a from guy b.

And I move on to what I consider to be a horrible mistake, the katana. First of why is it in? Your characters are in Siberia, the winds you put it are 70mph. First off these guys are carrying heavy equipment, strong winds can add pressure of weight. 40mph will make you struggle to walk in a straight line, 70 is where trees begin to uproot, hearing others become difficult, it will also be greately colder given the siberan winds will force air all the more. At this kind of enviroment your characters will keep their weapons close. Anything lose is going to cause drag like say a Katana. It gets even more silly when your character defies the strength of the wind, defies the heavy icy land he would trudge through and have his hands able enough to use a sword and execute it as if it was in summer daytime.

There are also two flaws in the execuction of the weapon.

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Wolf dropped the G11 and drew his katana. He leapt forward, keeping the blade angled towards the ground close to his hip, then sweeping it upwards.

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A samurai keeps his sword upside down before he draws it out, for once he does and in one swift strike, the curved blae will immeditely shoot up with a flik of a wrist. These swords are well known for swift strikes on the joints and throats etc, that is how a samurai is trained to use the weapon. If Wolf is good then he should know how to use it well and not draw it out only to lower it on the ground to perform a over the top finishing move. If wolf was useing it he would run up, draw, slash, kill. Be simple, that's how a samurai kills, with ease. The sword is also designed to 'flick' the blood away, why would wolf risk cutting himself while wiping the sharp end of the sword with numb hands?

As for humans not knowing about aliens invading I'm not questioning that part, simply because it appears cannon that humanity is somehow in the dark over alien abductions that come with guns etc. I never liked that idea myself but I come to respect it.

Though this comment comes late for this story, if you are going to make another story in the future then be aware of the surrondings you create and its effect. Would this wolf, man of experince in killing aliens rely on a short weapon when knowing these creatures posess such superior weapon (and possibly armour)? His movment along with the rest of the group is yet to be accurate in such a cold climate. As I said before the story has potetional but you must be more detailed and accurate.

Ok, I should have reviewed this before... this is a massive story, deeply involved, touched with the strategic glory that is X-Com Enemy Unknown; yet, You have taken the somewhat lackluster backdrop of Xcom (they never really went in depth there) and created a vastly developed world that just screams 'XCom' to the core.

I don't know what to say other than, Wow... Please for the Love of all that is Good and Holy, Don't stop!

We beg of you!

If we had more writers like you doing backstory for games... we would have less 'All-eye-candy' games to stare at us and make us ill at their lameness.

Amazing as always, glad to see this wasn't dead in the water :)

C'mon My Man, You Have To Keep Updating This Wonderful Piece Of Work!! All These New Ideas And Innovations Are Adding A Whole New Depth To The X-COM Storyline! This Is The Stuff That Great Novels Are Made Of!!

I have to say, your story has to be one of the best examples of fiction I have ever read. Its jarring and saddening that it seems to stop at CH 17. Please keep it up. The technical details you've included really help with the suspension of disbelief. Can't wait to see how the teams go after getting the symbiont.