well your writing skillz have improved... anyway so icant get my story some reviews check out my new story called darkness of the moon, rated r, micellous rpg section

Ok, looks good so far. My only real complaint is tenses. They change too much, from past to present tense. The first paragraph starts out with a past tense, and then the desc of Nyra is a present tense.

This can be jarring to readers. But certainly I look forward to seeing more.

Great description of the characters... they'd be really hot... IF they were human. Furries just aren't my thing. In fact, they're kind of bizarre... bestiality = wrong.

I do wish you were able to finish this story. You made me care what would happen next, and that's probably one of the most important things that a writer can accomplish.

Minor grammar nitpick: who's should be whose "a fey who's chosen form was . . ."

The writing could improve from a technical standpoint (watch for run-ons), but the characterization is good. Improving mechanics is just a matter of practice, so I hope you do that. Creating vivid characters is much harder, and you've done a good job with that.