awesome...plzcontinue

Ow! Sky i REALLY like that story! really really really! :D great work.

This was my fav bit:
“And when you believe enough, it becomes strong enough to pierce the veil between here and there, and I found myself for a short moment at home, in the Garden of Irmo Lórien…in dreams.”

I loved that last bit :)

Case, while I agree it would be a stronger vignette more polishing - focus, mainly IMHO - I disagree that it's Sue (and I should know, right? ). I like your imagery, and the sense of dislocation in one's own place and time comes through well.

Odd note: in the first skim, I missed she was sitting on a breakwater and flashed on her sitting atop a bridge. That image made me wonder if you'd ever heard "Oh Life (There Must Be More)" on the Alan Parsons (not the Alan Parsons Project) album "Try Anything Once." If not, definitely worth a listen - both lyrics and music seem appropriate to your theme.

i wish i could write like that, enough said.

This was an awesomely portrayed story!

I truly liked how you connected the fact that if we truly believe in something, then we could, just maybe be "strong enough to pierce the veil between here and there". I also like how you made your character come to her senses about how much better off she is here than in Arda cuz of Sauron and how Glorfindel was the one to change her mind.

Cuz well, many of us often times find ourselves wishing we were somewhere else because everything is moving too fast, (me, sometimes ^_^). And so this kinda hit near home. This is one of your best!! (Even though I still want you to update ‘Tale of an Orc’…)

This is an excellent well-written fan-fic. One of the first that actually has kind of like a moral in it. It's really hard to express what I mean by typing it down but, to put it in similar terms, this story kicks butt ^_^

Keep on writing!

Check ya later CAtz!!

I see nothing in this sweet, sad, angsty little vignette that would indicate the presence of the dreaded Mary Sue. How bizarre that people would think so of your character... a self-insertion possibly, true, but even Tolkien inserted himself into his own works.

I had no problems with Glorfindel using the term m'lady, nor his use of word inversions; Tolkien used word inversions in Elvish speech all the time. Hey, take it for what it's worth; I got a review once that stated unequivocally that No Character in Tolkien Would USe Contractions, and the person who left that review stated it was because of when the book was written--and people did not use contractions back then. (wry grin) Excuse me?? Contractions predate modern English! Jeez... if they hadn't left an anonymous review, I'd have sent them my famous "list of places where Tolkien characters use chronocentric or contracted phrases," including the exalted Elrond. Go figure...

Anyway, if there is more of this, I would be delighted to see it. I think we all would wish for something similar to happen to us...

Casey, I feel your story has promise (as I told you elsewhere), but has only scratched the surface. You need to develop it more, especially the part about what the character saw when she flew over Middle Earth. And what were her reactions when she saw them.
Also, why did she scream? That didn't make sense, after seeing all those things. That needs more elaboration.
I do have to agree with another review about Glorfindel's use of the word 'm'lady'. I don't think he would have used that to a human female. Only to an elven female of his "rank" or higher, and only in elvish. Mellon would have been a better word, or perhaps her name in elvish.
Please, work on this piece some more. I think you can make it an extraordinary story if you give it more thought.

The main character's heartache and longing for something more than this world's pale reality are easy to recognise; I think many readers of Tolkien's works will share them with you - I do, at times - and this means you've managed to convey something more than personal here. In places I'm reminded of Smith of Wootton Major and the visions he has in Faery - now there's a self insert! (Reviewers who think self-inserts are by definition bad have obviously missed a great deal of world literature.) The image of Lorien was very beautiful.
The least convincing part was the appearance of Glorfindel. Not that it turns the main character automatically into a Mary Sue, but I feel the story would have been stronger yet if the Elf's identity had remained a mystery - if only because it allows readers to insert the Elf of their choice...
But the virtues of this vignette easily outweigh this!

This is rather short, but it makes a good lead-in story. I think the only thing you need to do is maybe show how the two characters met in the first place. It would be interesting to see just how it happened. I really like what you did here. Good use of description to create mental pictures.

We'll take you up on your invitation for a critique.

- Character development: Seems like you're trying for 'DEEP & EVOCATIVE' here. But you're not conveying it through. Anyone can string words together. But to achieve 'DEEP & EVOCATIVE', you need to explore the character. Texture and layers are defined and created, it does not happen just because you wrote a few poignant-ish words. The feel we get is this girl's just a whiny, immature little person.

There's inconsistency too- one would think that with the way you opened your narration, your character's emotional development is key. Yet, it is totally lacking where it mattered most, ie her thoughts 'flying' through the various ME locations. She saw, so what?

- Cliches: Cliches have their places, but cliches will kill a good narrative too -- Well, at the least it gets darn irritating, in our view.
It is especially bad when trying for the tone we think you're trying for. You are too liberal and easy in your choice of words.

- Style and major confusion: Your choice of narrative and words is very inconsistent. Our main gripe is with Glorfindel's charaterization: Unless he's a courtier in 18th century Europe, he does NOT say 'M'lady'. Also, your use of word inversion for his dialogue make him sound like a Yoda-wannabe, not an Elf speaking archaic English.

The thing that made us cringe at his role in your story is that he's been transformed into Cinderella's Fairy-Godmother, in drag! His victorian-ish dialogue certainly helped none.

- Lastly, despite the lack of a physical description for your character, it reeks of Mary-Sueism and self-insertion.

Now, if you still reading, then you're more mature than we thought and actually is sincere about wanting critique. Credit to you then :) And so, we'll say one more thing: Expressing yourself this way requires a certain ability to use the right words. If we're right, and you're writing this story as a manifestation of an escapism for yourself, then you're not relaxed enough or perhaps not daring enough to really bare YOUR soul (to utilize a very old cliche :) ) You end up with half-bad or half-okay stories (depending on your take on optimism).

We hope you take it as all this is meant - constructive criticism, because we would have skipped your story but for the invitation for critiques; we had to try real hard, and in separate attempts before we managed to finish reading it.

Well, it's truly an interesting idea. I can't remember to have seen Irmo written in such contest. And you are right - sometimes the veil between two realities *can* be thin for an author.

I felt several different levels woven through the story. I thought of an elf standing at the quay of Mithlond, readying himself to board the white ship and leave Middle-Earth behind forever; I thought of Glorfindel, returning to Middle-Earth, to pick up a life cruelly interrupted - but finding that much of what he once held dear is gone forever. I thought of Tolkien, creating his fictional world, a refuge from the unstoppable force of modernization that is taking over the real world. And of course, there is your own layer. I think that somehow, amid all the negativity and depression in the world, we have to hold on to some kind of childlike innocence - a belief beyond reason that there is still goodness in the world and in people. Perhaps we do that by setting our minds free to play in another world - whether it's Tolkien's world or some other passion. Somehow, it refreshes us, so that we can handle the hurts of the real world.

I have felt strong urges to sail over the galaxy in a star ship. To visit different worlds, see new wonders, and not be limited by boundaries of space or time. Sometimes the urges are so strong that I regret being born in this age or time, there's nothing that I wouldn't give up to be with, who I feel are my own.

We must live with our dreams Casey, and hope, even if they will never come true.

Life will be unbearable as ever, but don't give up.

Hi, I liked this. It needs a bit of editing though. E.g., near the start, having her 'laptop placed on her lap' is a bit repetitious. If you changed that to the 'the laptop in front of her' or something else.
The piece does capture the plight of someone exiled from their spiritual home nicely. I liked it a lot. Will this work be continued? Or are you keeping it as a vignette? It would work either way. Anyway, good work!