"This girl had such strange effects on me."

Ah young love. Kenshin is so cutely confused by it. The more he pretends disinterest, the more the reader realizes what's going on. Nicely written.

"fangs bared in the moonlight" - awesome metaphor. Very visually evocative both of the scene and the sense of menace in drawn blades.

Interesting parallel, the despair of the victim and the assassin. Kenshin's voice is, as always, a fascinating read, rendered even more so by the skill with which you write it. It's not poetry, but it has the same sort of feel to it, a sense that you deliberate over every word and choose the phrases that will have the most impact, organized in the best possible sequence.

Good choice, switching from Sano to Tsubame for the end POV. Tempering Kenshin's despair with her innocent incomprehension, and the struggle to reconcile the Kenshin she knew with the Kenshin that he used to be was a great way to bring home the disparity and the changes in him. Nicely done.

"Underneath her softly, softly approach, there was steel. I could sense the subtle change in her aura; I was reminded of the anger I so often felt when facing an opponent in combat.

But this was a battle I was unprepared for. The only weapon I could use well was the sword, and here, it was useless."

You catch the essence of Tomoe's early relationship with Kenshin right there. There's a sort of gentle irony to the fact that Kenshin, a practised, professional assassin is completely at sea when trying to deal with a girl.

""Well, when you have an answer for me, please let me know." Tomoe walked out of the room, sliding the shoji behind her."

Score one for Tomoe, zero for Kenshin!

Sano's perceptiveness was a nice bonus. It worked well, ending the chapter with his POV and his take on why Kenshin couldn't look Kaoru in the eye.

Wow, I've just read through all 9 chapters in one fell swoop. You're doing a great job on this. You're able to get into each character's head and make the reactions totally right for each one. Telling the story in first person from Kenshin's point of view is great. It really lets us in so we can get a better grasp of his thoughts and feelings.

Don't worry about the legnth of time between updates. I have no problem waiting for the kind of quality you're putting out here.

Pen

This is as wonderful as always! Great job! :-D

I never understand reviews. This is wonderful and you should have hundreds of reviews by now. I hope you know that those that do follow this story appreciate it.
I love the way you create Kenshin's mindset from the Bakumatsu. That moment when he hesitates and then stares into the alley struck me as especially powerful. I also really liked his confrontation with Iizidka and his resentment of mixing such solemn and weighty plans with teasing. Also, all throughout the story, I have been impressed with how you set off the past with the present day response. Tsubame's reaction is particularly interesting because she is so timid and yet knows and trusts the Kenshin of today even after all he has revealed.

I've loved this story from the very beginning. Oh, and I still have more chapters to read. :)

It was good to have a new chapter. I think you capture Kenshin's almost desperate confusion very well. Also, I have found the counterpoint of the thoughts of one of the Kenshingumi to be a very interesting way to get perspective on their turmoil and emotions.

Don't worry, it was definitely worth the wait! I'll be looking forward to the next update. :-)

No worries here, I'll stick with the story as long as you do. ^__^ I love how you reveal Kenshin's inner turmoil through phrases like "I was an intruder here" and "...waiting for permission to enter my own sleeping quarters". Normally my favorite part of the story is the 3rd person at the end where one of his friends is thinking about what he told them. Not so for this chapter. Oh, I still enjoyed that part, absolutely nothing wrong with it. Still, I actually liked the first part best is this chapter. Surprised the heck outta me since I don't normally care for the first person.

rele good!! update!

You updated! I thoroughly enjoyed it. :)

I liked the way you wrote the scene where Tomoe meets the rest of the Ishin Shishi in the inn. It was more drawn out and detailed than in the OAV and gave more of Kenshin's side of it. Loved the way Tomoe kept him off-kilter and refused to be awed be him.

I love how your Kenshin is merciless in his descriptions for his friends, fleshing out his own embarrassment, over-reactions, and confusion. I especially loved that you set this part off with Yahiko's thoughts as he hears how his idol exposes his own faults at an age not much beyond Yahiko's own. My favorite moment though, is how you have street-savvy Yahiko reading Kenshin's own body language by the way he looks at Kaoru,knowing there is some terrible news to come. His acceptance and faith in Kenshin despite that shows how much of a family they have become.

I'm really enjoying how you're fleshing out this part of his history--you have a real facility with atmosphere, but are no less skilled with straight narrative. Even more (and much appreciated by me, personally), your dialog is smooth and natural, and everyone is spot-on in-character--which is not easy given the number of characters you actually have speak.

Okay, and here's something else: your historical setting feels very solid and real. The level of detail gives solidity to their world, but you keep the focus squarely on your subject: Kenshin and his relationships (both "then" and "now").

Congratulations, and thanks!

Absolutely wonderful story. I've enjoyed every word. It's easy to follow along and feel the tense anticipation and various reactions the others might have while listening to Kenshin as he finally reveals deepest sorrow and regret.