ou that was ... wow creepy and dark and really really good!

I definetly like the take you present on the comming 'war.' The picture presented becomes very disturbing if I dwell on it for a while. My one piece of criticism is that the Free Verse format breaks up the flow in disruptive ways. In the section

Go on ahead.
Plan for battles.
Meanwhile, my little dark hands
Will slip into the city and oh there
Will be bloodshed in the very streets


The first two lines break cleanly as distinct ideas, but the last three seem discordant.

Wow. This is haunting...creepy. And of course, so true. (Says one who has written a series of The War Is Upon Us fics) Best line: "But I am the War"

Wow.

EEk. That was wonderfully disturbing.

**shiver** I think I'll go hide under the bedcovers for a while now, if you don't mind.

Creepy, of course, with faint e.e.cummings-atmosphere because of the paragraphing, like "it won't/be so clean as all that". Nice ending.

I started to read this, and I was three quarters of the way through the author's note before I realized it wasn't Discworld...bit of a departure from the norm for you. But still, very incredible. Nice darkfic, not many people can do it well.

Cheers,
Jai of the Nightrunners

very dark.

Because I just needed my daily dose of being creeped out.

Very fun!