hey your story is very cute but i don't think you read over it a lot of words were left out in chapter 5 you left out love when harry asked do you love me and in chapter 4 you left out you are when draco said you are gorgeous and you may want to make your chapters longer when thay are this short they just don't hold your intrest for very long. it probrably would have been better as a one or two shot but that is just my opinion but other than that you gave a good amount of detail to most things though you could have given more info to the charmer thing such a big part of the story should cover more than one paragraph but that is just my opinion. sorry i had to critisize so much it really is a good story

hello Val,
i'm a reader of you from China,i love your book so much that i want to translate it into Chinese,may i get your permission?
if you agree, please mail me on .

hpoing you can agree and waiting for your answer.

best wishes
crystal

The story is great. but i was wondering if you could go over the first couple of chapters and make it look long and go over some grammer and such. aside from that the story is great.

was this translated? because the english is terrible, i love the plot and the idea of a "charmer" but it is very very difficult to read you need an english beta

The story outline is good, however the way in which it was written is **. Sentenses dont make any sense and words are missing. Chapters are only 2- 3 sentences long.

I dont reccomend this story, however if it were redone using the stories theme of Harry being a Special kind of Veela and Malfoy being Veela, it should be good.

A very good plot. Your grammar really improved as you went along. I was really fun to read. Maybe someday you can go back and rewrite it with even better grammar and more detail. You are a very brave person for doing this. I hope you know that you inspired me I'm american learning turkish so maybe I will write one in turkish. Thanks Kimmi Kazzi

Hey, Don't worry, Your grammar may not be the best but your story flows with ease and grace. Maybe I could type it over for you and email it to you so you could see the differences. And Singapore! Awesome. You must have a very intersting life

Hi...i was wondering if you still need a beta...Heck, i know this is a bit late since the story ended and all but...yeah...My teacher suggests me going over others' pieces so i can easily pick out mistakes...and god knows why...he thinks my english is degrading...ugg...yeah...whatever...Nice story by the way...
Also, i think you should raise the rating since this story should be M, you know, for chapter twelve...i'll stop talking now...keep up the good work!

Oh that was wonderful!

its Expecto Patronum, accio is a spell used mainly for innanimet objects, such as a pencil or a cell phone.

You have an amazing plot line here but I think that you could flesh with more details and turn it into a truly amazing story

i tryed to read all of your story, i really did, but i got up to chapter 6 and just couldn't read any more.
the chapters are too short- way too short for a start. it was also very hard to understand it as i had trouble telling who was saying what in the story. prehaps you should think about going over it again and correcting it or getting a beta to do it for you. putting it in paragraphs will help readers to figure out whats going on and whos saying what.

there was some really good ideas in this story. with a bit more planning and more of a thought out plot, it could have been something good.

Hi this story is far to goody goody so far. I can't continue. Sorry I am sure you are a decent wrighter but this one is not one of the better Harry/Draco fan fics

this story was bad

Hi, is english a second language for you? its just that i found you very hard to understand.