Hey I've read this somewhere on another site i think like fandnation.org or something =P
ciao
~*~T

This was amazing. The angst was just perfect. I haven't got much else to say other than I loved it.
Stacey

You're a Christian or Catholic or something?

Well, I'm Christian, and reading your story, I really don't see a point to it. And I don't like Atheists, Sorry.

...

Wow

I really liked that.

A little more description would have helped the overall atmosphere and mood of the piece, though. tha pretty much it.

I mean... Wow.

Poor Max! *cries* This was just amazing! It had good grammar and other things too (trying to remember what it was though =P) You should make it into a fic!

*watches BECA*

Ah...ahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHA!
You honestly made me laugh...

"Don't let the ** that call themselves flamers get you down"

That was classic.
(You should know that Anu has a gigantic history of flaming other people)

Hey ANU! I'm back! But only for right now. Hm...

This fic isn't really beyblade-ish except for the fact that you're using its characters...so why don't you make new characters and place this in the original fiction section?

And there were a few gaps in this fic.

Like:
If Max made pizza, then why in the blue hell didn't he EAT IT!? If he's going to make pizza, not eat it, and then go to sleep, then why doesn't he make pizza AFTER he wakes up? It would be warmer too if he made the pizza after he woke up. Be more realistic in these areas Anu.

*eye twitches* "realised" is spelled...with a "z!"
lol

"And, now, he laid there, with his mother playing with his hair, who did not care that she still had a pillow over his face."
...there's a grammar mistake in this area i think...but it's not a real biggie

"The moment was too precious to spoil; besides, another day was sure to come."
Umm...if you use the ";" you don't continue the sentence like...that...(using the word besides, an' all...).

You've got a lot of good descriptions! I was actually (catches the word "realising" with the corner of my eye...*twitches*)...I was actually surprised with your writing style in this piece.

...aww...g2g, bye.

- Atheist
5-something-03

I personally don't belive in God, so I doubt that my opinion matters. I don't belive that there is a devil either. However, I do like how you wrote this. It's heartfelt and real, and very well written. Like all of your work, this is very good, and I enjoyed it. Hope to see more of your work soon, ja ne.

PS: Don't let the ** that call themselves flamers get you down! ^__~

Aii, I'm not christian or catholic or nething so your fic didn't offend me. (that's that out of the way)

Wow, I love your angst, you're so good at it. Poor Max-chan, I totally love his parents in the show but this AU makes them so... disturbing. That wasn't a nice thing for maxie's dad to say to judy was it?

I like the psalms you've chosen. They really MAKE the story. okay for constructive critism. you've got good prose. " A single tear drop slithered down his freckled cheek, like the unsolicited worm that many knew it to be. “I have…I have nothing…”" that is beautiful writing. But your form is a little bland. make a comment then end the paragraph then make another comment again. I dunno... try linking paragraphs? I'm not too good at writing yet so that's the only advice I can give

Keep it up! I really wanna see more.

And I wish I could tell you what to do about your faith. Seeing people without faith makes me sad and the I realise I have none either and I scratch my head in confusion. We humans are a funny lot ne? we don't need faith to survive but fear of the "afterlife" makes us want to beleive.

Oh thinking of it, the bit where the devil says that maxie had no faith to begin with and was just using god is pretty.(pretty in a disturbing way... but pretty nonetheless) Thats what I think about most people in most religeons and then I connect this to my apparant need for something to beleive in and scratch my head further.

Yeah well, that's all I can say

Celria Chan

this was gr8, so angst-filled! i loved it!