Sorry, but your story is kind of boring. I got bored at the third paragraph and couldn't stand to read anymore. You put way to many authors notes in and it tends to distract the reader. The dialogue was EXTREMELY boring! When you write, you are supposed to assume the character's personality. Remember, when people read your work, they are picturing Pan and Bra, Trunks and Goten, etc... speaking. They are not reading something you or one of your friends would say. While the idea about a last day of school fic is a noble and respectable idea, the storyline is too dry and does not flow.
Thanks much,
FlagBabe6

Nice Title.