Your writing is fantastic.

Obviously, i realize after 2 years of having the finished version of the story posted, you must have received many reviews. I may have even reviewed a couple times myself (i read through the original draft twice, and the final draft twice as well). The first time i read this story, it was recently after reading your other story, Dogging the Shipping Lanes. Since then, i've been trying to keep up on your current writings because, honestly, darring a few exceptions (madam hydra on her ffvii fan fiction) your works of fan fiction are the best i've experienced. I read alot. And even though in some of your stories (though i realize there are stages of development even to a "completed" peice) there are alot of rough edges, it never takes away from the raw pleasure one receives from reading them. I have a hard time deciding if i like K.T. better, or the characters of Dogging the Shipping Lanes. I suppose i empathize with the werewolves more closely, as the more noble clans hold to their humanity, where all vampires are kind of unresponsive to alot of human emotion. But with K.T. it is hard to decide because he has just the right amount of compassion and calousness to be a favorite. the little box underneath this states that "It is extremely helpful to use this opportunity to comment on an aspect of the story that can be improved. A well rounded critique is often the most rewarding tool for the writer." But i feel, for myself, that critiquing such a wonderful peice would be insulting. After all the work you went through, re-writing, revising, editing, and reconditioning this story, any inherrent flaws should be left. They add to the humanity and character of the writing and the writer. Keep writing!

A truely great story (and I'm nowhere near finishing it yet). I really wanted to say how awesome it is to read a well contructed plot where EACH character has their own distinct personality and motives. I have lost count of the number of fics I have read where cardoard/no-personality 'filler' type characters appear for a line or conversation then magically vanish.

It is a true pleasure to read your planned story rather than a directionless addition of chapters.

I look forward to reading the rest!

If asked for a few words which come to mind after having read the entire peice, it would be these: The Gangrel. The Venture. The Panders. The mercenary.

Setting descriptions are strong in the first part, but does break down later on. The only clue that any of this is happening at nightime are the several refrences to the sun comming up. The major characters are strongly individual in their presentation, and the author shows vivid capability at making them into real people - a powerful skill that should be closely gaurded.

On to the canonical material. A great degree of artistic license is taken by the author regarding such things like the real situation of NYC (Sabbat rule is broken and the Camarilla is trying to settle out the new power structure), and more basic elements of Kindred nature (the main character should have frenzied at least a dozen times).

Aside from the comical frequency of gunfights, plot development plodded, but did reach some interesting points that kept the reader interested. Despite the other failings the author successfully created memorable characters and places, so the work in general is a great success.

Worth the wait. Thank you for sharing it.

Your writing is flexible- you write fight scenes and characters better than most.

i spent the last 3 days staying up till 3 and 4 in the morning reading this...and is possibly one of the best works of writing ever created lol. seriously, this is one of the best stories i've ever read. not as long as actual books i read, but the contnt definately outweighs the length difference. i've red 500 or 600 pages worth of complete crap before that could never ever compare to something like this, or any other of your stories. BRAVO! i can only hope to become a fraction of this good a writer when i become older than i am. Just an errant thought that slipped in, if you took this story, and replaced the script and plot of the movie Escape from New York (that early ninties Kurt Russel action film) with this, that movie would have been worth seeing. in fact, that movie would have made a LOT of money. don't ask me where that thought came from...i'm not sure. it's thee in the morning, my brothers room is half burned down from yesterday when the dumbfuck left a candle burning when he went to bed, and i've got oily black soot in my throat. i DEFINATELY look forward to another story that involves K.T. and Erica in such a major way. PLEASE keep up the good work.

That was a nice little trip. Let's do it again, sometime.

Very nice and getting more interesting. I'm just glad I started reading this story after it was completed. I doubt very much I could have followed all the turn of events over a period of months.

Storing a Malotov cocktail... *sigh* If you ever come back to this story for a rewrite, I strongly recommend changing this to a napalm based grenade. A Molotov cocktail is, by definition, a crudely constructed device. It leaks if you do any bending and lifting. It slooshes. And it smells. I wouldn't store it and I wouldn't carry it, except for this one night... but that's not important right now.

Your dialogue is much improved and the complex intrigue here does not seem contrived. Great job!

The dialogue is much improved and I even look forward to seeing more of Graime. Is he really trying to Kill KT or just keep him moving so he doesn't think too much?

*Cries abit* Its over? Oh man... So much time... So many memories ;) Ah but atleast thats one less story to wait for, right? right? guys? Anyways a big thanks to u for writing this, i want u to know we appreciate it alot! Oh well south park is on so i gotta go... Thanks again o venerable one...

The first few paragraphs had me hooked! Then... the dialogue. Don't get me wrong, you painted a great picture of Perth Amboy, but the exchange between Bishop and KT just hit a false note each time either opened their mouths.

Later, when your guy is in New York, the dialogue doesn't sound quite as false, but it still felt awkard in my head as I tried to "listen" to the cabbie and then the the girl interact with KT. The dynamics feel right, but not the dialogue.

I'm going to rest and get some hot tea. Maybe it's just me.

Thanks for the shameless plug. I really hope I remembered to plug your stories, too.

Now I can't help but get excited about the next draft of this story, coming to a website near you in 2005...

Well, having Hassan kill Crystal in the guise of K.T. seemed new to me, and it was certainly a nice touch that seems worthy of Phillip's overly devious mind.

While the garou attack on Brian and the Jamaicans was entertaining and interesting (the countered fireball was a nice touch), I doin't know how it fit into the larger picture. As before, I don't see what the deal was with Brian. He never really seemed to be more than a supporting character tangentially related to the main arc.

Hmm... "Both true and misleading, but very close." What a wonderful line.

I like this ending, with Erica ending up clearly more befuddled than I remember her being in the previous draft. It's a nice touch, and something that does a great job of setting up some of the stuff that I write later. (Oh, and thanks again for letting me get away with that in Bon Ton.)

Great story, dude. Now, let me see, which one of those stories of yours comes next? I have to think about that a few minutes...

Second star to the right and straight on till morning? Or is it they're riding off into the moonset? Loved it nonetheless, the whole twisted shebang. And am honored to be amongst the first to read the stunning conclusion. Normally about here (as I'm sure you know) I would list off a half dozen points and issues of the writing. Also I'd probably come up with at least one wonderfully bad (or is it awfully good?) pun to harp on you with. However I am a bit too emotionally choked up at the moment to offer anything. (except when Clairvius watches the fire, he smiles slightly at the top and bottom of the paragraph, the only problem I spotted actually) Everything flowed together nicely, and though the ending is perhaps not what I had hoped, it did seem rather appropriate for the setting and mood (sob). I also must salute you for this rewrite. (I myself am doing a small rewrite on a tiny story, and it is driving me insane...or more so then usual at least) This has, with little doubt, been the best story I have found on this site. And I can say honestly that I would suggest this as a fun read to anyone. (Except for that Cordoba incident, grrr) I really have nothing more to add o Icy writer. Great work. Thanks for the story and the enjoment it has given me and others...

...and the sequel, I want the sequel too.