 sharnii 2008-10-01 . chapter 9Well that was a good chapter, with a couple of exciting developments. Um, I thought you wrote you were going to finish this fic? o.O O.o It hasn't been updated since 04...I guess that means you're not updating. :'( |
 sharnii 2008-10-01 . chapter 8It's strange to read this version of Kirika. She seems just a tad OC, even for deliberate memory loss. |
 sharnii 2008-10-01 . chapter 7Moving chapter. |
 sharnii 2008-10-01 . chapter 6Hmm hmm hmm intriguing ideas. |
 sharnii 2008-10-01 . chapter 5Well I'm glad the game was a trick - I was waiting hopefully for a plot device like this. It's better as a trick then real. |
 sharnii 2008-10-01 . chapter 4Ok ok I'm interested again. |
 sharnii 2008-10-01 . chapter 3Headsets?! This is a new kind of Noir...
I don't think it's working for me yet - reminds me of Stargate for some reason, without the aliens. o.O |
 sharnii 2008-10-01 . chapter 2At the moment I'm not sure if I like the premise of this fic anymore. It's getting a little too far away from Noir cannon. I don't really want to read an AU... |
 sharnii 2008-10-01 . chapter 1Got my attention so far.
Lol it does remind me of the matrix... |
 Mau Valmont 2007-05-16 . chapter 9 Oh God... NO! It's not complete, why, why, WHY! So last time you updated was like three years ago... No chances in ever finishing it, right? Damn it... |
 MidnightBlue1 2007-05-07 . chapter 1Well, I know you've finished this story, but I just felt like I had to tell you this: You've really captured Mireille and Kirika's personalities. That been said, I'll go read the next chapter. |
 NinjaSin 2005-12-15 . chapter 9 I'm quite enamored with this fanfic. Perhaps one of the best I've read as of late. I know it's been over a year since you uploaded chapter 9, but I would love to see this finished. It's very hard to write action and keep it unique and keep the characters properly focused in personality. You've done an excellent job. Hope to see more. |
 shetan83 2005-08-15 . chapter 9I dearly, DEARLY hope that you will finish this. I read all the chapters in one sitting, and MY GOD! (I'd say it in French like Mireille, but I'm not proficient. =D)
And the new, snarky Kirika was very entertaining.
"One more quip like that and you're on your own." That was gold.
PLEASE WRITE MORE! *kneels and grovels* |
 M. Kye 2004-11-05 . chapter 9Read the nine chapters straight, so no detailed comments...
You sure know how to make cliffhangers :-) I found myself turning the page to see if there was more, even though I knew there wasn't... Your way of narrowing the relative perspective and field of perception as soon as action begins is very evocative and heightens the feeling of urgency and speed [all things I wish I could do].
I am also impressed with the way you use descriptions and dialogues alike to build up an atmosphere of frustration and tension. The relations between M and K evolve agonizingly slowly and feels utterly "realistic", for lack of any better word - and still, your description of Mireille's sudden breakdown hits the gut hard and fast. I had (and still have) a bit of trouble with the apparently sudden change in K's behaviour between the end of Ch 7 and the beginning of Ch 8, but I might have missed something in my reading.
One small quibble (very small, and almost at random) : "Three gunshots rang out but she heard only one bury into flesh". While I've certainly never heard an actual gunshot hit a living target, I'm not sure it makes any significant noise, especially since the audio bandwidth is pretty busy already during a firefight. |
 Larania Drake 2004-10-27 . chapter 9Good writing as always! I hope to see how this goes, love it. |