I have to say well done. This is the only 'Tea'xYami/Atem I've been able to bring myself to read and I have been thoroughly impressed. The research you have done has made the story not only believable but it flows so easily together.

I do have a few constructive crits though, as a fellow writer.
The main thing that stood out to me and annoyed me the most was the unnecessary and overly used italics. You don't need them as the reader automatically emphasizes words in their own mind as they read not only that but the amount you use actually breaks up the sentences and stops the flow.
Also, normally every different speaker is on a different line to differentiate who is speaking and helps with the total look of the writing in general.
Another thing I noticed is that you like your commas. Most of the time you use them correctly but a few times I noticed you don't really need them or a period would be more suited.

Anyway, I really enjoyed reading this fic and I hope to read more sometime in the future^_^ I also hope that my points were helpful, as that is how they were meant.
Good luck with the writing!
Ree

Wow. I loved it! I really couldn't stop reading it until I finished. I also liked the part where Yami ran away from the palace in one of the earlier chapters; I thought it was funny, especially how he ran into Teana and such. I'm just curious--why is that you put so many words in italics? I'm not criticizing you for using too much, and I understand if it's your personal style, but I was just wondering...

Hey! It's meh! ChaoticTwilight! That stalker person from dA! :D *shot*
*cough*
Yes! I love your story so far! I wanna see how everything ties up with your art! So, please! For my own sanity! (Which may be in question) Update soon? ^^

~Aislin

Hey its HaHaIScareU from DA
I SAW UR PICS AND BNOW IM REEDING UR STORY

plese write the next chapter!

I love your story its so romantic I love the TeanaxYami pairing. Can't wait until you update! ^_^

please finish your story

Oh wow...I love your story...and I love your drawings of Tea! Please continue with wonderful story! Please! I'm adding you!

Oh noes! It's over already. D:

I really want to know what happens next. But don't rush!

For a moment there I thought he was a goner. Glad to know that wasn't the case.

Great imagery. You captured the scenes perfectly. It was as if I was watching it happen right before my very eyes.

There were punctuation errors and a few on-running sentences, but easily overlooked for the most part.

You've peaked my curiosity with this, so I will favor this so I can continue reading it.

omg, Yamigirl, where is the next chapter! where is it! i watch you deviations, and now I'm watching this! I' m waiting for another chapter!

ShakumaxSatoshi

i luv your story update as soon as u can

please update

Pray this is not the end? I really like your fic. It should not be neglected, as you say. It may be long but it is revealing and well written.

Welp, I gotta go. Keep on cruisin. I can't wait for more.

Au revoir,

Fop Hunter the Almighty aka Fop-Hunter from