great story! but i noticed it's been a year since you updated? you should update! i love cheers! woody's my fav. he's cute, e-mail me when you write more, im anxious to read! sunnygirl1414@aol.com waiting for your mail!

I agree. Also, it would be easier to read if the paragraphs were where they should be. Each bit of new dialogue should begin a new paragraph. Howver, you can interrupt speaking with 'She said,' and stuff like that. For example:

"How are you, Mrs. Howe?" Woody asked Rebecca as she took a seat at the bar.

"Oh, Woody," she sighed, examining her shoe, "This stupid heel...broke when I was walking down the stairs. Cheap shoes!" She took a swig of the drink Woody had just set in front of her.

And I agree to what was said about staying "in character", keep at it though...sounds like it could be a very interesting story!

I hope you don't mind some criticism, your plot is very interesting, but I think you need to develop your dialogue a little more. I have to say also that you really should stick to everyones individual character traits, In other words only woody called Rebecca "Mrs. Howe". Stay true to each of the characters, and what they tend to say or do.